Night Chating of Seafarer
Taiwan
August 1, 2009
Viewed 386 times.
It's the time of nightfall again,and the time for people going home in great haste after a busy day.
Suddenly, a figure being beautiful and happy as ever is seen at a distance toward the subway station in Rio.Seeming to have waited for a long time, seeing her appearance,which is so familiar as ever,he,standing in the town square alone,dreamed of meeting her again for years and now it is true ,happily smile.
Taking a lively steps, approaching to her,he swear to himself for never going home alone this time.
"Have we met somewhere before ? You......Your face seems familiar."
"More than that, it's a long story ,happened a long time ago." he said.
"Story ? Between us ?"
"Yes,Fatima ! But I can wait,until it all comes back to you, the past life fooled around by God." he said.
"Fatima !? How do you know my name ?"she is a little surprised .
"Because, you once belonged to me." he said and firmly holding her soft hand so nature as it should be like this way from the beginning.
"Where are we going ?" watching his face,she smile as rich as a flower.
"Our sweet home.Fatima !This time,I will sing for you,although it's a little sad in itself." looking in the distance ,he said with much love in his eyes.
"You finally are willingly to sing for me now." she seems to get something back.
.................
Speaking of my dream, seems to be a strip of rainbow .
Rain stop, it vanish into the sky in a second.
Speaking of my dream, seems to be a string of wind bells.
Wind cease, no sound could be heard any more.
Every dream,every dream has a different expectation.
When passing away, it only brings you heartbreak.
Speaking of my dream,seems to be a string of wind bells.
Wind cease, no sound could be heard any more..........
...............................
Beneath the sunbeams of the setting sun, the Statue of Jesus, in the distance, appears to smile again.
August 1 ,2100
July 18, 2009
Viewed 456 times.
Traped in the serious inferiority , I just couldn't seem to move on ,even to go on a date with her .At that moment ,the thought of giving up just flashed through my brain.
The phone rang.I picked up the phone fearfully,and hearing the shivering voice with fear.
"Why didn't you give me a ring ?........Don't you want me anymore ?"
".........,No,I didn't say so.I was busy for seting up the business in the future."said I.
She was innoscent,and did nothing wrong. How could I treat her this way ?I suddently found myself in a serious sick inferiority,that,actually,once had kept my feelings from my beloved Fatima.And now it broke out again. Having no air of haughty aloofness ,she didn't look down on me.
Beyond that was her true feelings rocking my world most, the same feelings once tied me up in Rio.
To be loved by her was too good to be true. A weird thought came at me that her coming was to make up for Fatima's leaving.
I won't care about what the others would take it about me anymore. I had a feeling that good luck won't come twice if I lost it once more . I gave up to purchase the wealth,and at last,got what I really wanted all the way,the one who really love me.
After experiencing so many frustrations, I finally married. I was actually going to realize what the happiness was. Until that day, just in all that time fulled of sweetness,getting rid of Fatima ,those damned pictures ,making in Rio and already being gone from my heart, unfortunately was found by my
honey,as jealous as Fatima. A furious storm was on its way.
"Who is that girl against your shoulder ?" said she angrily.
"She..... was my... former girl friend before we met. " I got no choice but telling her the truth. To see Fath'ma leaning lightly against my shoulder, with glorious smiling on her beautiful face ,she became more angry and had more causes to believe that I still got in touch with her.
I really don't get why girls are so jealous. I didn't tell her about the past for being over and almost leave her behind. In order to obtain her confidence again , I burned out all the pictures with girls in foreign countries in front of her. Seeing her relieved,I knew it still remained in her mind,even she said no more about it.
All those pictures had gone,and I was quite sure myself to get rid of her from now on.But did I really jump out of the shadow of Fath'ma ? No,I didn't ,for leaving behind something more important than that.
I,to tell the truth,am a very careful man,yet how could I go so far as to forget those films of her? And my dear wife didn't notice it either. It's really unbelievable ! I just don't get why that feelings always come back to me when I hardly made up my mind to get away from it.
I love my wife and cherish her feelings for me very much. With the time goes by, she finally realize why I can't forget about her,no matter how hard I have tried,and what really tied my mind up so tightly.
Now and then,when I was spellbound by the beauty of my wife,she would be embarrassed and ask me whether I still love Fath'ma.
""............Darling, I really hate to lie you, I commit that I still love her. But in the name of God,believe me! I do try very hard to forget her,but I just couldn't make it. Tell me how I could put her real feelings away ?"
She, hearing this, became a little disappointed.
Thanks to my dear Fath'ma to let me know how important it will be to show love to lover in time,and that the expression of love is not shameful in itself .
I embrassed my love that I could really feel in my arms and whispered to her "I know my words somewhat hurt you very much. But there is something else you should know too. That she was still in my mind doesn't mean I love you less. Her coming to my heart first is the reason and something I can't help at all. But ,fortunately , I still keep my last and important thing for you. I'm quite sure about it myself that you are my last in my life."
I,surrounding by the sweet love of my wife, always took it as a matter of dreams. Half of fearing to loss her love,half of fearing to be found that Fath'ma still in the deepest place of my soul, holding her soft hand unconsciously became the only way to set my mind at ease.Without a reason, I sometimes, would embrace my wife with great passion.
I, inside my heart,do afraid of losing her again. To avoid her wondering look,I asked her that I had given up my job to become captain,and couldn't be as rich as before anymore. But why did she still love me ?
She, watching at me with a serious manner, said "I don't know ,I just love you.".
That answer was so firmly and directly that it moved and shamed me simultaneously for still keeping Fath'ma in mind all these years. My wife and Fath'ma are very much alike in feelings. The presence of cognitive dissonance had struggled inside my heart for such a long time that it almost turned into a heavy burden to me .
I suddenly realized what God's will was,one couldn't choose both fortune and love .
I was too avaricious at the time ,and that made me lose them both,fortune and Fath'ma. Money could afford me everything I wanted all right,but I was not pleased at all ,and almost lose the courage to live .Since making up my mind to give up fortune and the goal to be a captain in the future,I had the strong feelings to be needed by my wife, which made me happy and very important .
I know I should be satisfied with what I have had now. But,I just couldn't forget about her........"No! I don't want to be your friend,I want to be your wife."
That heartbreaking sound always echoed at the bottom of my heart; It's more clear than ever,especially in this silent night,under the clean and bright moon.
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06:00 AM Jul 18 2009 |
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Connie
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March 28, 2009
Viewed 736 times.
I began to enjoy the dark side of my pleasing occupation . A vest extent of wilderness spread in front of me, and I got no idea which way was right to take.
Packing up my luggages,I had put it in my thought many times that it would be another long year to be in foreign countries again. I was always paintful to think of it. I unconsciously
picked up the papers on the floor,hoping to know more about the society that once was well-known to me.
It was quite by accident to see a news report about a dentist, who had warmly held meetings for the singles many years. A slightness of hope flashed through my almost frozen heart, was it not what I was looking for ? I trusted it for being a news,not an ad. for profit. With renewed spirits ,I made up my mind right away to hold on my last chance in Taiwan, in spite of only a few days left.
For being so short of time,I really couldn't expect any miracle happened this time, but just did the best I could . That's all.After making sure that I was a real single in serious attitude ,knowing that I had even no chance to take part in any activities ,this warmhearted dentist told me ,after a short time of thinking,that ,just a few days before,here came some ladies,and one of them seemed to fit me well.
I told the dentist that I came here just to know how things were going here,expecting for nothing else ,and I surely would be back ,oh! God! what I should say, one year later. Sounds a little ridiculous,but,that was my life.
But...he,unexpectedly, told me who ever knew what God's plan would be. ??? God's plan ? It was coming again ! To hear this really gave me the shivers.
For a little while,I couldn't help to wonder who he really was, a dentist for real or...?
One afternoon of warm weather, after making all the routine things going abroad, I left the company for a meeting with the dentist.
That was a narrow and long apartment. When getting there,I saw a lot of volunteers being there for some training classes.It was very noise.I seated myself ,checked the company's documents, and expecting the other party to come.
A while later,there,the entrance, came in a lady with a panic on her pretty face. I was suprised,glad,and thought she must be the one.
We introduced each other ,and going with those volunteers being in rehearsal beside us.We chatted,and they talked,sometimes,even sang,simultaneously.We got to enhance our voice to overcome the noise of their dance surrounding us. Otherwise,we couldn't get what we were talking about.
Boy! I could only say that it was my most funny date with girl in my whole life.That scene of date seemed to be a stage performance on TV.
In truth,she had a fair outside.But I still felt that she was likely too good to me, even though the shining of her eyes had already put many secrets out there into my mind.
Holding her slim and soft hand,I,again,revealed joyful smile ,having disappeared on my face for such a long time that I almost forgot what the feeling it should be . Between us, there were likely no end of talking,and the time was flashing faster than ever that we were always short of time to get together.
One day, the first time, I went to factory where she worked to pick her up as she wished.The impression at the entrance was so vividly that still made me uneasy till this moment.
With the reason coming here in my mouth,a studentlike boy working by the entrance, raised his head toward me ,from his work, watching me with a very weird and saucy smile on his
face. I really had no idea for what I had gone wrong.
My girl was really joyful,and intended to go out immediately,by holding my hand.That really shocked me a lot.
"Wait a minute, Aren't you supposed to report your boss for leaving ? And you are still on duty. Is it really all right with you? Won't you get fired for it ?" I said and was completely lost.
"Never mind,I have told him beforehand." said she seriously,ignoring all the suspicious on my face.
"No,wait a mimute,.... you mean you have told him to stop working, to go out with me for a... date, on duty ?" Did I hear right ? I could wait outside all right, Untill you were off duty.
"Don't mind that !" she said firmly and showed me the same saucy smile as ever.
I stopped to watch her smile ,it was so familiar and had gone away so long a time that I couldn't even believe to see it again, someday .
At suppertime in a restaurant,I talked of something, which I felt unusual,about the employees in the factory. She became nervous at hearing this .
"Have you had a quarrel with him ?" she asked ,in a hurry,showing a little uneasy on her beautiful face.
"No ! Nothing happened,I just feel something gone wrong . That's all." I answered.
She was relieved to hear that, and for a moment,said "He is my junior brother."
"What ?" I got the whole picture instantly.
"Your brother ? then,the man and woman up there must be your parents, right ? and you must be the daughter of the boss." I said with my mouth opened wildly.
"Yes,they....want to see you." she answered in a very low voice, seemed to had done something wrong.
Being afraid of the boy friend to associate with just for the wealth behind her ,she couldn't help but to hide something from me.
Knowing the reason,I just had a feeling to be hit on my head by someone. That night,the supper was beyond description .
Life is changeable and sarcastic, To tell the truth,I have worked many years for nothing but to maintain the humble dignity of my own.
From the very beginning,I thought to be good enough to marry,meanwhile,I was very proud of what I had on hand too.But destiny is always unexpected and beyound your imagination.I should have said that this was really amazing.
Something strange was so happened that she lied me to be a labour in the factory due to wealth,the heavy burden on her mind,but,on the contrary,I just halted to associate with her for that.The effort that I had made for years meant nothing to her. Actually,in front of her,I was still a nobody. This sort of ending was really a frustration to me.
She needed no wealth which we could see easily,but the ture heart was the matter.She had refused many chances to associate with better guys than me.But.... ,I was afraid to be looked down on because of her background,especially by her parents.
I felt myself marked out by fate,and the thought was fearful.