Night Chating of Seafarer by fathma | English, baby! Blogs

A Surprise Or Dream . Part 6 A Surprise And Dream .

fathma — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:00:55 GMT

A Surprise Or Dream . Part 6 A Surprise And Dream .

It's the time of nightfall again,and the time for people going home in great haste after a busy day.

Suddenly, a figure being beautiful and happy as ever is seen at a distance toward the subway station in Rio.Seeming to have waited for a long time, seeing her appearance,which is so familiar as ever,he,standing in the town square alone,dreamed of meeting her again for years and now it is true ,happily smile.

Taking a lively steps, approaching to her,he swear to himself for never going home alone this time.

"Have we met somewhere before ? You......Your face seems familiar."

"More than that, it's a long story ,happened a long time ago." he said.

"Story ? Between us ?"

"Yes,Fatima ! But I can wait,until it all comes back to you, the past life fooled around by God." he said.

"Fatima !? How do you know my name ?"she is a little surprised .

"Because, you once belonged to me." he said and firmly holding her soft hand so nature as it should be like this way from the beginning.

"Where are we going ?" watching his face,she smile as rich as a flower.

"Our sweet home.Fatima !This time,I will sing for you,although it's a little sad in itself." looking in the distance ,he said with much love in his eyes.

"You finally are willingly to sing for me now." she seems to get something back.

.................

Speaking of my dream, seems to be a strip of rainbow .

Rain stop, it vanish into the sky in a second.

Speaking of my dream, seems to be a string of wind bells.

Wind cease, no sound could be heard any more.

Every dream,every dream has a different expectation.

When passing away, it only brings you heartbreak.

Speaking of my dream,seems to be a string of wind bells.

Wind cease, no sound could be heard any more..........

...............................

Beneath the sunbeams of the setting sun, the Statue of Jesus, in the distance, appears to smile again.

August 1 ,2100

A Surprise Or Dream ?---Part 5, A Complicated Heart.

fathma — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:43:31 GMT

A Surprise Or Dream ?---Part 5, A Complicated Heart.

Traped in the serious inferiority , I just couldn't seem to move on ,even to go on a date with her .At that moment ,the thought of giving up just flashed through my brain.

The phone rang.I picked up the phone fearfully,and hearing the shivering voice with fear.

"Why didn't you give me a ring ?........Don't you want me anymore ?"

".........,No,I didn't say so.I was busy for seting up the business in the future."said I.

She was innoscent,and did nothing wrong. How could I treat her this way ?I suddently found myself in a serious sick inferiority,that,actually,once had kept my feelings from my beloved Fatima.And now it broke out again. Having no air of haughty aloofness ,she didn't look down on me.

Beyond that was her true feelings rocking my world most, the same feelings once tied me up in Rio.

To be loved by her was too good to be true. A weird thought came at me that her coming was to make up for Fatima's leaving.

I won't care about what the others would take it about me anymore. I had a feeling that good luck won't come twice if I lost it once more . I gave up to purchase the wealth,and at last,got what I really wanted all the way,the one who really love me.

After experiencing so many frustrations, I finally married. I was actually going to realize what the happiness was. Until that day, just in all that time fulled of sweetness,getting rid of Fatima ,those damned pictures ,making in Rio and already being gone from my heart, unfortunately was found by my
honey,as jealous as Fatima. A furious storm was on its way.

"Who is that girl against your shoulder ?" said she angrily.

"She..... was my... former girl friend before we met. " I got no choice but telling her the truth. To see Fath'ma leaning lightly against my shoulder, with glorious smiling on her beautiful face ,she became more angry and had more causes to believe that I still got in touch with her.

I really don't get why girls are so jealous. I didn't tell her about the past for being over and almost leave her behind. In order to obtain her confidence again , I burned out all the pictures with girls in foreign countries in front of her. Seeing her relieved,I knew it still remained in her mind,even she said no more about it.

All those pictures had gone,and I was quite sure myself to get rid of her from now on.But did I really jump out of the shadow of Fath'ma ? No,I didn't ,for leaving behind something more important than that.

I,to tell the truth,am a very careful man,yet how could I go so far as to forget those films of her? And my dear wife didn't notice it either. It's really unbelievable ! I just don't get why that feelings always come back to me when I hardly made up my mind to get away from it.

I love my wife and cherish her feelings for me very much. With the time goes by, she finally realize why I can't forget about her,no matter how hard I have tried,and what really tied my mind up so tightly.

Now and then,when I was spellbound by the beauty of my wife,she would be embarrassed and ask me whether I still love Fath'ma.

""............Darling, I really hate to lie you, I commit that I still love her. But in the name of God,believe me! I do try very hard to forget her,but I just couldn't make it. Tell me how I could put her real feelings away ?"

She, hearing this, became a little disappointed.

Thanks to my dear Fath'ma to let me know how important it will be to show love to lover in time,and that the expression of love is not shameful in itself .

I embrassed my love that I could really feel in my arms and whispered to her "I know my words somewhat hurt you very much. But there is something else you should know too. That she was still in my mind doesn't mean I love you less. Her coming to my heart first is the reason and something I can't help at all. But ,fortunately , I still keep my last and important thing for you. I'm quite sure about it myself that you are my last in my life."

I,surrounding by the sweet love of my wife, always took it as a matter of dreams. Half of fearing to loss her love,half of fearing to be found that Fath'ma still in the deepest place of my soul, holding her soft hand unconsciously became the only way to set my mind at ease.Without a reason, I sometimes, would embrace my wife with great passion.

I, inside my heart,do afraid of losing her again. To avoid her wondering look,I asked her that I had given up my job to become captain,and couldn't be as rich as before anymore. But why did she still love me ?

She, watching at me with a serious manner, said "I don't know ,I just love you.".

That answer was so firmly and directly that it moved and shamed me simultaneously for still keeping Fath'ma in mind all these years. My wife and Fath'ma are very much alike in feelings. The presence of cognitive dissonance had struggled inside my heart for such a long time that it almost turned into a heavy burden to me .

I suddenly realized what God's will was,one couldn't choose both fortune and love .

I was too avaricious at the time ,and that made me lose them both,fortune and Fath'ma. Money could afford me everything I wanted all right,but I was not pleased at all ,and almost lose the courage to live .Since making up my mind to give up fortune and the goal to be a captain in the future,I had the strong feelings to be needed by my wife, which made me happy and very important .

I know I should be satisfied with what I have had now. But,I just couldn't forget about her........"No! I don't want to be your friend,I want to be your wife."

That heartbreaking sound always echoed at the bottom of my heart; It's more clear than ever,especially in this silent night,under the clean and bright moon.

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 4, A Test of Love

fathma — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:09:57 GMT

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 4, A Test of Love

I began to enjoy the dark side of my pleasing occupation . A vest extent of wilderness spread in front of me, and I got no idea which way was right to take.

Packing up my luggages,I had put it in my thought many times that it would be another long year to be in foreign countries again. I was always paintful to think of it. I unconsciously
picked up the papers on the floor,hoping to know more about the society that once was well-known to me.

It was quite by accident to see a news report about a dentist, who had warmly held meetings for the singles many years. A slightness of hope flashed through my almost frozen heart, was it not what I was looking for ? I trusted it for being a news,not an ad. for profit. With renewed spirits ,I made up my mind right away to hold on my last chance in Taiwan, in spite of only a few days left.

For being so short of time,I really couldn't expect any miracle happened this time, but just did the best I could . That's all.After making sure that I was a real single in serious attitude ,knowing that I had even no chance to take part in any activities ,this warmhearted dentist told me ,after a short time of thinking,that ,just a few days before,here came some ladies,and one of them seemed to fit me well.

I told the dentist that I came here just to know how things were going here,expecting for nothing else ,and I surely would be back ,oh! God! what I should say, one year later. Sounds a little ridiculous,but,that was my life.

But...he,unexpectedly, told me who ever knew what God's plan would be. ??? God's plan ? It was coming again ! To hear this really gave me the shivers.

For a little while,I couldn't help to wonder who he really was, a dentist for real or...?
One afternoon of warm weather, after making all the routine things going abroad, I left the company for a meeting with the dentist.

That was a narrow and long apartment. When getting there,I saw a lot of volunteers being there for some training classes.It was very noise.I seated myself ,checked the company's documents, and expecting the other party to come.

A while later,there,the entrance, came in a lady with a panic on her pretty face. I was suprised,glad,and thought she must be the one.

We introduced each other ,and going with those volunteers being in rehearsal beside us.We chatted,and they talked,sometimes,even sang,simultaneously.We got to enhance our voice to overcome the noise of their dance surrounding us. Otherwise,we couldn't get what we were talking about.

Boy! I could only say that it was my most funny date with girl in my whole life.That scene of date seemed to be a stage performance on TV.

In truth,she had a fair outside.But I still felt that she was likely too good to me, even though the shining of her eyes had already put many secrets out there into my mind.

Holding her slim and soft hand,I,again,revealed joyful smile ,having disappeared on my face for such a long time that I almost forgot what the feeling it should be . Between us, there were likely no end of talking,and the time was flashing faster than ever that we were always short of time to get together.

One day, the first time, I went to factory where she worked to pick her up as she wished.The impression at the entrance was so vividly that still made me uneasy till this moment.

With the reason coming here in my mouth,a studentlike boy working by the entrance, raised his head toward me ,from his work, watching me with a very weird and saucy smile on his
face. I really had no idea for what I had gone wrong.

My girl was really joyful,and intended to go out immediately,by holding my hand.That really shocked me a lot.

"Wait a minute, Aren't you supposed to report your boss for leaving ? And you are still on duty. Is it really all right with you? Won't you get fired for it ?" I said and was completely lost.

"Never mind,I have told him beforehand." said she seriously,ignoring all the suspicious on my face.

"No,wait a mimute,.... you mean you have told him to stop working, to go out with me for a... date, on duty ?" Did I hear right ? I could wait outside all right, Untill you were off duty.

"Don't mind that !" she said firmly and showed me the same saucy smile as ever.

I stopped to watch her smile ,it was so familiar and had gone away so long a time that I couldn't even believe to see it again, someday .

At suppertime in a restaurant,I talked of something, which I felt unusual,about the employees in the factory. She became nervous at hearing this .

"Have you had a quarrel with him ?" she asked ,in a hurry,showing a little uneasy on her beautiful face.
"No ! Nothing happened,I just feel something gone wrong . That's all." I answered.

She was relieved to hear that, and for a moment,said "He is my junior brother."
"What ?" I got the whole picture instantly.
"Your brother ? then,the man and woman up there must be your parents, right ? and you must be the daughter of the boss." I said with my mouth opened wildly.

"Yes,they....want to see you." she answered in a very low voice, seemed to had done something wrong.

Being afraid of the boy friend to associate with just for the wealth behind her ,she couldn't help but to hide something from me.

Knowing the reason,I just had a feeling to be hit on my head by someone. That night,the supper was beyond description .

Life is changeable and sarcastic, To tell the truth,I have worked many years for nothing but to maintain the humble dignity of my own.

From the very beginning,I thought to be good enough to marry,meanwhile,I was very proud of what I had on hand too.But destiny is always unexpected and beyound your imagination.I should have said that this was really amazing.

Something strange was so happened that she lied me to be a labour in the factory due to wealth,the heavy burden on her mind,but,on the contrary,I just halted to associate with her for that.The effort that I had made for years meant nothing to her. Actually,in front of her,I was still a nobody. This sort of ending was really a frustration to me.

She needed no wealth which we could see easily,but the ture heart was the matter.She had refused many chances to associate with better guys than me.But.... ,I was afraid to be looked down on because of her background,especially by her parents.

I felt myself marked out by fate,and the thought was fearful.

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 3,Throwing An Embroidered Ball

fathma — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 07:16:04 GMT

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 3,Throwing An Embroidered Ball

Being isolated from the society for such a long time ,made me like a fool. It was really a funny thing to say that I had never known how to make a girl friend.But....I got to do something
about my problem.

One day, the papers says that an activity of courtship will take place at World trade center for the singles . Caring for nothing,I went to see what help it could give.

After a brief introduction,the compere wanted me to be the first to appear on the stage the following day.And what the worse was that the rule had been changed,that the gentlemen
won't be sitting there down the stage and awaiting ladies to choose the target as usual ,for having a few gentlemen to take part in the activity this time.On the contrary,throwing an
embroidered ball to the ladies would be the gentlemen this time.

"Mamma Mia!" , how could it become this way ?

At that worried meeting, from the backstage I could hear the whole crowd out in the auditorium.At that moment a strange thought ,a criminal to be executed, came upon me.

I felt uncomfortable again as if to meet the parents of Fati'ma.That desire to run away seemed to pop up gain.Making a girl friend seemed to be just difficult to me.

Having the first turn,my clock was running out.I looked out over the auditorium and took a deep breath.I was about to take my first step to the stage. I felt my legs shivering again
,the same feeling as on the bus to meet her parents.

A lot of ladies sat straight down the stage,stared at me up and down with dilated eyes.Unbelievable! it is really a terrible thing to be seen by so many people simultaneously.I bet
that it must be something you never know.To chose one you like ? It must be kidding in this way.To end it and run away immediately was all I could think about at that time.

A pretty lady sat there with a look of meditation. Hey ! What was eating you ?All right! It was you! I threw my embroidered ball to her very seriously.On my way back to the curtain,I
couldn't refrain myself from making a turn to see whether she missed it .

Just at this moment,I saw her holding that embroidered ball and giving me an unbelievable look.For being so mbarrassing , I smiled upon her.

God knows what it's all about !

Was my spring of love on it's way finally ? When love came to you, it's step was always quicker beyond your imagination.

I felt uneasy for love coming so soon and easy. We had a joyful beginning,.....and shouldn't it be ending in a good result ?

Obviously,God didn't let me go . It went by contraries at last that what I loved became what I hurt .I intended to marry,that meant to own my wife and children,of course. I finally knew
what her meditation . And I had no right to make such promise for children in the future.

Fatima in Brazil made me a test of courage; but this time she made a test of reason to me. There was no choice for me but to break her heart .

I was going to wonder what kind of test would be next.

I failed,but didn't give hope up. There was another activity of throwing an embroidered ball coming.A little frustration couldn't put a stop to my goal.I was quite sure about the way I was
going;without the help of the other part of mine,I could get no where.

The same hustle and bustle activity didn't bring me the same passion as first time.This time,I took a different role in the play .

The awaiting show finally began. Everybody standing below the stage wished to get that chance on her hand. But....,when hearing their conversation up there I,slowly,moved back to
keep the stage at a distance. Meanwhile,I observed that I was not alone.

"What if you have to quit your job in the furture for your family ?"said the compere.
"No,I will never give up my job."said the pretty girl standing on the stage.

Her statement surely had brought the attention of all the audience on the scene.

"Right,you ,surely have the right to say so." I told myself disappointedly. I really couldn't ask the other party so much as to give up her favorite job. When I was sinking deeply into meditations. I,suddenly, noticed her beautiful eyes gazing at me,so familiar as those of Fatima. It seemed revealing some things to me...,But,I was willing to sacrifice myself for my
wife,children and family .I thought she was not my type.

I still kept the stage at a distance,which was surely beyond her ability to reach.I was so
depressed.

It was so happened that the embroidered ball directly fly to my way,dropped down in front of me.It was within my reach.

An answer to get it flashed through my brain was momentary. But I didn't .....,part of it was afraid of what she had said, was very scared to have another frustration as ever in Brazil.
I gave up that chance, and I saw her plaintive eyes as my Fati'ma's by chance. I was very sorry too.

Since I knew her strong tendency of keeping her job,how I could take her to be my wife.Right! I should admit that she was really a beauty. Surely,what she wanted might not be happened
in the future.But,apparently,she won't sacrifice herself even for her own family.That's one thing to be sure. Something doomed to go for nothing shouldn't take place from the beginning.
I learned the lesson already. I won't make the same mistake again.

On my way home,with bad mood,I told myself that I had done my best,and it seemed to be for nothing again.Because,I was informed of another job ,by company ,to Japan one week later.

A Surprise or Dream--Part 2, The Boundless Ocean Takes Me Heartbreaking Home.

fathma — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 11:59:15 GMT

A Surprise or Dream--Part 2, The Boundless Ocean Takes Me Heartbreaking Home.

My dear Fath'ma,it's our time to meet again; in this silent night,under the light of old table lamp and the gentle breeze against my face I decide ,slowly,to write down and to tell you what I have been through,even though I know that you would never know it anymore....Then,let it be a statement to the pure moon hanging high up in the sky.

Tonight's moon is so bright and clear that it makes one's agitation to pour out all his sorrows.

Leaving hometown one and half years,I stood on this cool and lonely bridge watching a stretch of blue sea in a distance and imagined the cheerful meeting that I had dreamed many times.My sweet home, Oh!how I missed you !And my dear parents,how were you recently ? Everything at home, being so close to me and so far away to reach,made me seriously homesick.

And yes , I even more missed that unforgettable hug with great passion of my dog,he always welcomed me by a dive at me from nowhere.

I know my dog couldn't say anything to me,but from his earnest eyes ,one of his waving leg up and down,and his never stop waving tail,I just know how happy he is ! "All right! Stop
jumping !that's enough!"I always said so .Oh! What an intoxicating dream to get home !Great Universe ,silently and gradually left Rio de Janeiro.Watching the Statue of Jesus
become smaller and smaller in the dim light of sunset,my mind was weighed down with sorrow.

Dear Fath'ma,could you aware of my sorrow by this time ?I left Brazil, and I lost my soul at the same time.Did you ever know that you had stolen my heart before I noticed it ?I knew it
very clearly that I could see you no more but in my dream,hereafter.And Since then,I would have only this faithful lamp to stay with me in the long and lonely night.Going home should be one thing full of happiness for anyone,but I,on the contrary, was in a terrible bad mood.

Time,slowly,went by; Taking the way through Liberia,London,via Hong Kong, I finally came back to Taiwan.What a long way of going home it was !I could see my parents whom I missed day and night in no time.How happy it ought to be!

Coming up 2nd floor,in front of my well-known door,surprise !yes,it was really a great surprise to me,I didn't get the familiar scene I used to see as usual.Even though my dog was gone too.

In the past,for having known who I was,my dog will always sit up straight ,right behind the door silently,awaiting my mother to get the door . And no matter how long I had been away from home,he could always recognize me behind it,making no barking,and never wrong on that. What a clever pretty one he is !

I learned that he died of a disease. He would unable to wait me there anymore.To hear this,it seemed to cut on my heart......I still could feel his struggle with happiness in my arms.But,now he wasn't there.Oh! my pretty lad!

Strange to say,until this moment,I just found something unusual with my parents,for having a queer feeling of keeping me at a distance.I began to get alarmed,and made inquiries among them.

What I had been told was really a big jolt to me.After leaving the navy,my brother,always cherished by parents,was introduced to a match by my sister.Having nothing prepared for
marriage,he set trap to cheat me by giving up his portion of heritage for replacing my own decorated house which I got with all my hard working overseas,these last few years. And what
surprised me more was that my sister had already married few months ago,and no one of this family told me about it. How ridiculous it was ! I didn't even know that she had a boy friend.

Beyond that,all the members of my family went so far as to keep it a secret between them,and watching me step into his trap on purpose,without even giving me a hint........

Everybody,in Taiwan,knows that a public official won't become rich without taking graft.What could he give us ? By the way,if we were rich enough, why should I go to abroad to make a
living so long a time?

Fath'ma! I delayed my marriage at a more mature age these years and having worked very hard for a better life in the future.You once said "You should married." You were quite right.But I had known the feeling of poverty since childhood, having been through the hard life,and hoping to change it when growning up.

That's why I went to sea to pursue a wealth,and never touched anything about marrige,even thought of it.I wanted my future wife and children to have the best life ,not to have a hard
life with me. To work steadily and make solid progress,I was almost done . But I didn't let you know even a word of it,for the reason to make sure that you really deserved it.

The goal to reach was very near,so close to me.I could definitely feel it on my hands......a sweet home of my own,and another rebuilding house for my parents. More than that,God led me to you,a fair lady whom I could never dream of,to be my wife.And the another very important thing was that I had already qualified as a Chief officer,just one step behind the Capatin.

You once told me "You are smiling all the time." How could I stop it ? Watching my beautiful wife,I told myself. Telling the truth,I had taken you to be my wife from that day forward.

I knew how I look,and that you were always doubted for what I had told you "Fath'ma!You are my first and only one in my life. From the very beginning,I only hoped you could show me Rio.
around,for being not brave enough to expect to have a girl friend,so beautiful and intelligent like you.

I,at last,found out that you were serious about me, not kidding,and that pushed me to face it seriously too.

I,finally,made of my mind to take this chance on me,and informed my parents about it.That would be a big change to me.And I,in the end,had prepared myself;but you were not brave enough to accept what I had prepared for you. You hesitated... That's what I still don't get you by now.

I made sacrifices for this family,and they took everything as a matter of course.That's something hurting me most. Obviously, they didn't take me more important than ever.What's in their eyes was nothing but money. Something connected this family and me was money but feeling anymore.That feeling of old days had died out due to a long period of separation.

All at once,I felt very lonely,I seemed to be extra to this family. My sweet home in my dream suddenly turned into Hell .They needed me no more. How I felt and sacrificed for this family was not a matter to them.All they wanted were those I had prepared for my Fath'ma.All the members of the family just wanted me to give him a help.

How easy it was to made something from nothing ! Whom was I working for these last few years? I really didn't get .

My dear Fath'ma,I was blue since the day we parted,and having been broken-hearted.I could barely believe that they were my blood. The tears blurred my eyes.I could hardly keep it
from showing.But I had no time to cry now;though I did want to.

In those sorrowful days,your letters were coming late all the time.Could it be said that even my beloved Fath'ma had also left me behind ?At last,I got no more your messages.You
really let me down...........

I was also getting to hate this unfair world .

I was sick of this world, constantly asked myself "What wrong have I done ?". How could a brilliant,hopeful life suddenly turn out to be nothing ? My heart was full of malice,and I believed that Satan had completely captured my soul that time.

I got all my savings back from my parents,and having no mercy on my brother,I drove him out of my house.I just couldn't let anyone like him staying here any more.He was eager to rob
my house. It's no wonder that he refused to renew my licence after getting the documents I mailed in the foreign country. What a terrible brother I had !

I swore to myself that I should get back all those originally belonged to me. God played trick on me , but Satan satisfied me to have revenge on my brother in return. I experienced
the great pleasure I never got. I was really happy. It was my first time to feel that Satan was not so bad as people had criticized. I should accept him earlier.

At that wrong time,you,I once loved so deeply Fath'ma,whom I didn't count on any more message,once again, mailed me a letter which I had so expected to see during that hard time
for such a long time.

Holding that letter in my shivery hands,hardly keeping the tears from showing ,I was asking myself "Do I have to read it ?" time after time.

After reading your unexpected letter,I was crushed. By saying that there were so many first times, you used to make fun of me. It stands to reason for you to say so,that there is indeed few people like me on earth,and I was not supposed that it would be also my first and last time to reject your inquirement.

In bad mood,blind with rage,I made a big mistake in my life. I could give you a hand then;I also should,too. But.....,I didn't .

Could it be said that love had turned into hatred insensibly?I was totally confused. I couldn't figure out why I was so cruel to do so, especially to my Fath'ma. Oh! my God ! I must be
crazy at that time.

I became an unreasonable and disagreeable person. In my view,nothing was right any more,and everything seemed to against me on purpose. I could feel ....that I was not myself anymore.

I was ruined,and God,to whom I always believe,you were not on my side from beginning to end.I wanted to go after mine.I couldn't make living and keep my savings at the same time.
Fath'ma ! You have a point there.

I do need a wife.

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 1, Easy Come, Easy Go.

fathma — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:35:58 GMT

A Surprise or Dream ?---Part 1, Easy Come, Easy Go.

A warm summer day Great Universe departed Santos for Marseilles of France. Everybody on board was working as usual ,having no idea of what would be coming to them very soon.

In sight of a stretch of blue sea, everything seemed to be so peaceful and joyful. Oh! France! What a romantic country you were ! I was sick for you for a long time.Being intoxicated at the prospect of the Marseilles trip ,all the crews were shocked by a sudden serious vibration.None knew what was going on and what to do.

The rudder won't work at the time being just a few hours after leaving port.Having no idea,we could do nothing but only waited for the company's further instructions.Then,a miracle happened. A tugboat from Rio de Janeiro was coming all the way to us. We got an order heading to Rio de Janeiro, immediately.

Do you believe it ? How do you take it ,a good luck ? Do you take it that way too ?

After nearly 3 day's long dragging,the real great "Great Universe" finally arrived in Rio.Jesus statue of Rio de Janeiro being in sight ,so close to me ,opening his arms widely,
seemed to welcome these unexpected son's coming.

Oh! My holy God. He seemed to give me a mysterious smile too. What's he smiling at ?

When we were about to drop the anchor at anchorage, something unbelievable took place again.I couldn't help to say "My dear dear Jesus! You are really really cute ! You are really
somebody!".The tugboat's towing wires had twisted with our anchor's chain. Mamma,mia !

I believe the answer would have known to everybody. Right ? Cut it off !I took a quick glance of the sailors. Strange to say,all sailors were chuckling to themself aside.This accident meant that there would be a long vacation awaiting them but the captain.

Till today,I'm still impressed by the color of my dearest captain's weird face. Chocolate!Maybe... pure coffee is more accurate! Trust me! It's something for sure in my whole life
to see his face like this.

After a short time of flurry, we set up everything to repair the vessel,and finally having the precious gift of God.I and 2nd engineer,putting all the trouble aside for a while,went to the city center from dock.

We had no idea for what to do when arrived at the entrance of subway.We saw,at that very moment of wanderings,two ladies coming this way,and asking me something in Portuguese which
I didn't get at all.Having no time to fool around,I mustered up my courage ,and cared for nothing to ask them where the places were for sightseeing in Rio.

Boy!It's wonderful! Their English was no better than I was .We were even. The 2nd engineer enhanced his voice to give me a hint at that very embarrassing situation "Forget that lousy
sightseeing,The ladies are about to leave!"

What? I was shocked then,until that moment,I just paid a good look at them .Oh!yes!What's wrong with me ?There were two ladies right in front of me.

I asked them to be my guide for Rio in a hurry.Then the next ,I should say it's the most ridiculous trip I had ever met. Just walked around the city for nothing.Can you imagine
that ?When taking the wandering walk,she asked me "Do you have a girl friend ?Where do you live ?" and so on.I was completely confused.Will this be my first day in Rio? Jesus,we
had only seven days to stay here.

I was not on the alert for what she would be asking me.Now I know she is very clever and intelligent.She takes a kind of marvelous and unbelievable way to force me to come out with
the truth " You are more beautiful." She forced me to express which one of them is beautiful.She finally got what she wanted.I was very embarrassing.

This was my first time to talk with a girl and to make me like a criminal before the judge . I had no idea how terrible it would be to chat with a girl . Are all the girls in the same manner ?

She wanted me to come Bananal Island at 5 o'clock with another friend as beautiful as I was.I really didn't get what was on her mind.At hearing 5 o'clock ,I almost fainted .That
meant I had to get up before 3 at dock.So I said how about 7."Too late ! Make it 6." she said.

We finally made an agreement at 6 o'clock , Bananal Island next day.I got 3rd engineer with me to get there early in the mornig .On the bus,3rd engineer teased me by saying "3rd
officer!It's really hard to have a date with you." It's really embarrassing to hear this.

Looking at my best friend,I was getting worried if he might become my enemy in the end.I could feel ,even touch something being wrong.What would be happen in the future was
something beyond my control.Just left it to God.When we got there just like a couple of wooden head, there was no sign of them.

On the way back to the city,I thought of a misunderstanding happened in a movie before.The characters in the play went wrong for the secquence of the appointed date.I thought I
probably made the same mistake too .The right time should be 6 o'clock in the afternoon ,not early in the morning.What's the matter with me ?What she wanted was a date ,and what I had thought was a day's sightseeing.My God ! I had gone too far.

Just as I had expected,they appeared on the correct time.Now,I always think if I didn't think of that movie.Then,everything would be fine hereafter.

I'm not sure whether every girl is as jealous as her.I was not allowed to see her classmate.I could tell that she was really angry with me.No kidding! We were,at that time,even not a friend at all. We just met.

After this,we had many good times in Rio. My Fath'ma is fine in every way but seriously jealous.With her,I could hear the most harmonious melody on earth. And when the tuneful
singing ceased there was always a pair of beautiful and shining eyes watching at me with the most mysterious smile on her cheerful and flushed cheeks, seeming to tell me something she
couldn't say. My dear Fath'ma,I was crazy for you ! God must be jealous from that time on.

Time went by slowly but fast, one day my tricky and beloved Fath'ma suddenly led me to a place.She showed me that so familiar and mysterious smile again. Sometimes, I really didn't get what this little pretty
fairy intended to do .

I did what she had told as a fool,getting on the bus and going nowhere.About 30 minutes later,she told me that her parents wanted to see me.

"Oh!No!Mary and Joseph!"I talked to myself," This time I'm dead.In the bus I have no place to hide now." All of a sudden,the sun ,in the sky, became more bright and hot then ever,making me hard to move my shivering legs.

Although I knew I had to see her parents sooner or later.But... I just couldn't help trying to escape,just like a mouse seeing a cat.

You would never know how that day I had been through.Because I had no idea either.After that,my beloved Fath'ma became silence.I knew what had worried her,and that made me more heartbreaking too.

"You can stay here." she said,at last.
"I would love to ,but that takes time ,and I got to get everything ready in Taiwan."
"................."

I quite realized how their parents cherished Fath'ma.For years to bring her up,how could I,so suddenly and cruelly, get their beloved baby to a place so far away ? I suddenly realized how selfish a person I was.

Oh! My sweet Lord, told me what I should do ?
A voice -Don't touch her as if you can't marry her,suddenly came into my heart.Now I knew my parents were right.
My sweet Lord ! Thanks for your faith to constrain my desire of touching her.My heart had been occupied by Satan so many times ,and there were so many fightings deep in my heart too.I ,with your help,succeeded to stop what I shouldn't do. You surely know how hard it would be to me.How fortunate !It always happened nothing between us.Otherwise,how could I face up to this question ,today ?

Finally,I mustered up my courage to say what I was sick of .
"........Can we just be a friend ? "
"No ! I don't want to be your friend,I want to be your wife."
I was deeply touching by her serious look.
God seemed to have no answer for the question.

Ship had completed all the repairs at last.The voyage to Europe and relationship between us continued. To be an officer ,I could get a good salary and widen my horizons.Meanwhile,I could take a good look at this world, Portugal,Spain,France,Italy,Israel,Malta,Turkey,Romania even Egypt... For me ,life couldn't be better in those days.

What will be will be. The day of going home had finally come.Having my parent's approval,I wished she could promise to go home with me.

At that day of my last voyage to Rio,there had no joyful singing anymore but a kind of agitation around me.That really made me feel uneasy.Making a circle on my arm with
her little finger time after time,having no idea what course to take,she still gave me no answer.Really !I was very afraid to see her face of grieving.That's a torture to me.

I was unwilling to leave my beloved Fath'ma.I hate God for making such fun of me. Since you have given us such a chance to come across, why don't you fulfill my humble wish to get together ?

Could it be said that you have made something else to us ?

An unexpected self-examination. 5/5

fathma — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:54:20 GMT

An unexpected self-examination. 5/5

For a long time,my mind wandered among all the troubles through which I had passed. I was not able to figure out the way to do for the next.

"Mister Carlos,Please proceed to the counter,a phone call for you."a broadcasting awakened me from my meditation.

"This is Carlos speaking,and are you Capt.Liu ?"
"I'm not .Are you really Mr.Carlos?"he said with a little hesitation.
"Yes,I am Carlos all right. Could you tell me who you are ?"I said and completely lost myself.

A moment later,he said "I am your agent,Capt.Liu wanted me to pick you up.""Oh!very good!Now the air port is in the dark,and where are you by now ?"I said.
"In my house."he said in a very low voice .

To hear this ,I really wanted to kick his asshole,if I could."Aren't you surposed to meet me at the air port beforehand ?"said I.

"Well,I had picked up nobody several times before you.and I thought you would probably miss this place like them.So I waited at home and make a call before going there.Now ,please,wait
a moment,I'll be there very soon.Bye!"said he.

I was the first one to arrive here,fortunately still on the Earth.I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.I should be very proud of it ,shouldn't I?But,I was getting to worry what had happened to the others .

Is it really a good job to be a seafarer ?

An unexpected self-examination. 4/5

fathma — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:24:12 GMT

An unexpected self-examination. 4/5

I had been in the middle of my long long journey,and I had enough reasons to take fright.What if I lost here,in the middle of nowhere ?

At that time,I ,just like the most part of friends on Ebaby,was very bad in English.But,I had no choice.I got to go for it,the momey to get my family out of the poverty.The economics of the family needed my help.I only knew I must keep going on ,even I had no idea for what would be waiting ahead of me.

Looking outside the window of airplane flying southbound to Panama city,heading toward the unknown future,watching the light of sunset dying down backward with dim color of cloud,I was coming to guess what my family was about to do this time. That good-hearted stranger should be happily with his family by now,I believed.I came to envey him very much.

Long distance of flight began pushing me tired.The long-term struggle for life and family became a heavy burden to me. The look of my dearly parents gradually became a blurred in my dream.Yes,I was really tired,I needed a good sleep.........

The plane knocked against the ground ,and waking me up from my dream.It had taken many stopover before destination,and the passengers are reducing little by little.I felt more lonely too.
At last,there were a few passengers to get off the plane.From the conveyer,I took my heavy luggages ,started to look for Capt.Liu.

It's really a very small air port. The passengers went home very soon.I was the only one left inside the desolate building. The clerk of Airlines told me that there was nobody looking or leaving any message for me.

"Could I be at the wrong place?"I asked ,"and why couldn't I see any harbor nearby ?"
"By the way ,I'm still in Texas,not in Panama . Am't I ?"
The clerk told me "Here is Panama City of Texas all right."

I could do nothing but went out the air port with my heavy luggages.I took a glimpse of this mini air port,the lights went out behind one by one.

Outside the air port was nothing but a great stretch of open fields .In sight of a flock of birds coming fly through the air ,in sight of the rays of the setting sun shone after the birds into the sky ,reflecting the sky very red, such warm and fragrant picture with a chilly but gentle breeze of late autumn made me more miss my parents.

It was 6 o'clock in Taiwan.They were about to have a dinner together,I believed.But,I......

I never felt so lonely in my life.My eyes were cloudy in my sadness,and the picture before me seemed unclear either.I had a feeling to ...., I really wanted to....But I couldn't.I knew I was an officer,.......I was a boy .

I started to hate my job.

An unexpected self-examination. 3/5

fathma — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 06:25:20 GMT

An unexpected self-examination. 3/5

All the way from Taipei via Japan to Seattle,I could do nothing but eating and sitting in the cabin,like a pig.Many hours of flying passed,I finally arrived at Seattle international airport.

After knowing my first time to take so long a flight alone,the passenger beside me,a kind-hearted American on his way home in Seattle,told me "I'm home.It's very nice to be home. But ,don't worry !I will lead for you the way to the counter of your next airlines ."

He took me through a winding way from international airport to a domestic flight by asking the person we met on the way to the right counter.I just stayed with him tightly,being afraid to miss in the jungle of buildings.

In the end,I was handed over to a stewardess of domestic flight.After getting everything settled,he waved his hand and said bye bye to me.

Even though it was many years ago,today,at this very moment,I still remember his face being so lively.And only at that helpless moment,You might be able to realize how thankful I was.
I was very touched beyond words.Let me thank you gain,Stranger!
All of a sudden,I didn't know the whys ,but I was not as happy as beginning anymore.

I was getting to envy him.

An unexpected self-examination. 2/5

fathma — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:25:14 GMT

An unexpected self-examination. 2/5

Next day in the office the manager told me the details to America.The more clearly he said,the more scared I became .The following was what we had talked.

"This flight to America is,hum...., a little complicated due to getting no direct flight to Panama City.Therefore,tomorrow morning,you will take this flight from Taipei to Japan,then
getting another airline to across the Pacific Ocean to Seattle,and then changing an international flight to a domestic flight of America for part of the journey.

Of course you should find the right counter and place in the air port yourself,to Panama City in Texas. I'm not finished yet. At last ,Captain Liu will meet you and take the rest from there."
said he and took a break for a deep breath.

Then,he continued "Did you get what I had said ? No problem ? You can make it, can't you ?".I felt dizzy for an instant ,but still remembered to reply "Yes,I...I...I...think I can make it all right."

At this very moment, I came round suddenly,and said,somehow, in my haste,"But,it seemes to be a very long way to go.Will I still be on the Earth after getting there?"

"Ha,ha,...You are very humorous."said the manager.
"And how many colleagues do I have to go with this time ?" I said as carefully as usual.
"Oh! Sorry about that.You are alone this time."said he ,in an unusual light-hearted mood.
"W..hat ?"said I.

After leaving the office,I thought it over .I really wanted to get back and to confess that I was actually a chicken.I really couldn't make it .But ,I'm an officer.Man!How could I say that?

Mamma,Mia! A disaster was on it's way.

An unexpected self-examination. 1/5

fathma — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 13:02:35 GMT

An unexpected self-examination. 1/5

To be a seafarer,I have no need to worry many things,such as airplane fare ,all the expenditures on board,...and,at last,being paid every month by the company. I,surely,have many chances to travel in the world.Even though I am ,sometimes ,tired of it .

The boss seems to be a losser ,and ,of course,I am definitely,a winner.There is no more better job than that in the world.I'm the one who could prove this.But is that the case ?

I have questioned myself about it many times,even in the middle of my dream.But I still get no answer.

There was a day,a call from company, suddenly, asked me if I could take this chance to work on a small British ship,sailing between Mexico and America,in Mexico Gulf.

Mexico ! My eyes opened wildly at hearing it.That's a place to make me laugh even in my dream.
Mexico ! That word reminded me of guitar immediately.

That quick rhythm of Latin song rose in my imagination,making me to shake myself too.

Why not ? "Yes,I do."I gave him my answer as quick as to get marriage. Mexicana !I'm coming!

The world in my eyes--Vancouver,Canada.2

fathma — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:49:48 GMT

The world in my eyes--Vancouver,Canada.2

It was said in the newspapers that Canada was a paradise of the aged.I myself hoped to see the one of our world,not that in Heaven.

There was a time when we arrived at Vancouver anchorage. Though it was very late,that was late enough for everyone to enjoy a sweet dream,no one would give up the chance to go
ashore after a long journey.The feeling of seafarer to the land is not easy to be known by people on land.

Only a few of us went ashore with ship supplier for purchasing.When finished the job,we took a walk on the main street and waited for the returning sampan.

The night in Vancouver was extremely quiet.Walking on the silent street of foreign country with nobody around was a very strange experience to me.I was so excited that I almost jumped
up.

When telling my company about a beautiful garden here,which I got from magazine,there came out a squad car behind us from no where,just following us with very slow speed.Being not alert to it,I went on my unfinished converstation.

All of a sudden, the head light of the car focused on us .The officer came up. Hum ! It turned out to be the police."What ? Police ! What happened ?What wrong have we done ?"I talked to myself .We were all scared on the scene.

They wanted to know where we came from,what we were doning here.They checked by phone,what I said with ship supplier and an unbelievable figure.

Seeing the police drove away,we were relieved.One able seaman who was silent all the time suddently bursted out saying "Second officer, How fortunate ! You can speak English."At hearing this,looking at his innocent figure,I really couldn't hold on laughing ......
Obviously they took us as illegal immigration by mistake.

A very weird thought came up to me that night. I seemed to miss a good chance to see the jail in Pararise.

This world in my eyes......Vancouver,Canada 1

fathma — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:21:10 GMT

This world in my eyes......Vancouver,Canada 1

It was an unforgettable sailing to Vancouver. Late at night,approaching to the coast of Canada,the weather was so stromy that I could see nothing outside the bridge except the heavy rain and strong wind.The ship was rolling heavily.

On the screen of radar It showed a big guy just leaving the strait of Vancouver and turned against me directly.Watching the distance between us reduced quickly, I order quartermaster
to use hard port,hoping to get rid of it.But due to the strong wind It won't work at all.At the same time he gave me no answer for calling him many times on the VHF.

I can't help to burst out "Damn you,are you crazy ? What do you want ?".I shifted radio channel to coastguard to tell him the fact that I had done all I could to avoid the collision but the weather was too bad for me to keep it clear,that the other party did nothing , ignored my calling till now,and to ask if he could help me to call that ship for me.

Strange to say,coastguard called that guy and got answer in no time.I saw the distance enlarging gradually and thanked coastguard for their help.From their communication,I knew
the big guy is a bulk carrier from China.Were they sleeping on the bridge ?I wondered.

It calmed down as soon as I entered the Vancouver strait.The weather on the sea is weird and changeable.Was what had happened a minute ago just a game of Hera?

This is my first impression on Vancouver.They have a very good coastguard and do a great job indeed.So many years passed,I am still greatful for what they had done to me.

This world in my eyes......Tampico,Mexico 2/2

fathma — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:27:51 GMT

This world in my eyes......Tampico,Mexico 2/2

I always spent my leisure time here in this way.and it gradually became a very important part of my life.

No matter how you like it,the party shall be over in the end.
We had three of us. For example : 25+75+100=200 It's very easy to know the price in no time.But the employee just won't take our answer.She insisted on count it herself with a pen and paper .

The most thoughtful thing was that she still remembered to tell us "Take it easy !"by raising her hand in a gesture .Now let me tell you how she works on it. 25+75=100, then 100+100=200 Pesos. Finally,here comes out the result. I couldn't say she was wrong for those steps she took one by one.

But....But.... You , guys, know what I mean.Right ?
I mean it's really unbelievable.

I don't mean to tease Mexican.On the contrary,I love them all.I just say something.....

This world in my eyes.....Tampico,Mexico 1/2

fathma — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:32:25 GMT

This world in my eyes.....Tampico,Mexico 1/2

Mexico,to hear this name is quite enough to release you anytime in spirit .

Tampico in Mexico is a charming place especially after sunset.When the night time comes by,with the cool and gentle breeze blowing on your face,you could put all the annoying
things aside for a while and take your time to enjoy fresh and cheap seafoods at leisure pavilions by seaside.

I usually ordered a lump of shrimps and enjoyed the latin music there in the intoxicating evening of southern scenery.Leaving everything behind after a big day,taking my time to experience real life was my favorite.If paid a little tip,you could have a romantic music played for you by performer,of couse .and that always made me feel in a dream as I were a star in a movie.

But the most of all to please me is the happiness on the innocent and simple faces of the native,young or old.For a long time to get along with them,I quite awared of the sorrow of the people living there.But at least in this moment they were really happy.I was glad to see them in that moment.

To whom it may concern

fathma — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:58:12 GMT

To whom it may concern

I am very surprised to see another star in my" rate profile ".

I don't know who did it .To have your recognition is really a comfort to me .I am glad not for the star itself but something behind it.

I believe that everybody should have the same question as I did.How do I know what I have written is right or wrong? But I always take it this way that I probably wrote English correctly ,otherwise you wouldn't give me a comment ,if you don't get what I mean.

As to give me a star,I am quite sure that you must know what kind of feelings I have hidden behind the story which may be funny or even sorrow as it looks.Otherwise you especially have no need to add another star .

Although I don't know who you are. But I want to thank you for your understanding about what I had posted before.and that would inspire me to reveal what and how I feel about this
sorrowful ,sometime looks funny ,world.

Thanks !

This world in my eyes......Osaca,Japan 2/2

fathma — Tue, 27 May 2008 12:06:03 GMT

This world in my eyes......Osaca,Japan 2/2

What's wrong with them ?To see them pointing their fingers to the monument and me,I took a look at those words on that big stone again.I thought I get the point.

For the sculpture on that rock was written in Mandarin,they couldn't get it.But on the contrary they were surprisingly to see that I was very enjoying myself to the content of it.That's the reason making them stop to watch me.

Now it was my turn to be confused now.Why didn't the Emperor of Japan use Japanese on that monument but Mandarin instead?I was entirly confused this time .Well,who cares ?

I'm not Japanese but I know what their Emperor's decree is.They are Japanese,but they don't get it.It doesn't matter.I could tell them what their Emperor had said,if it's necessary.
Sounds a little funny !

This world in my eyes......Osaca,Japan 1/2

fathma — Sun, 25 May 2008 09:57:25 GMT

This world in my eyes......Osaca,Japan 1/2

In Japan you wont miss technology everywhere.New uildings,new streets,new products,newly designed clothing,new publications,new foods,even medicine is newly invented.

Take it,trust me,it's definitely good to your health,I could give you my word.

I was sick of it.I wanted to see something old,yes,more old more good.When getting to the train station,I found a small picture of Osaca castle on the map of railway line in the hall.I talked to myself,yes,that's it.Osaca castle,I was coming.

Oh!Boy!It's only a park,the castle is inside a small park.Since I was here, then got in and saw what was there.A large wooden castle and some remains.....Due to knowing a little about the history of Osaka, I really get nowhere.

On my way to make a circuit of the surroundings of castle, I found something very strange.In the backyard of the castle,there was a monument standing in the garden,carved an announcement on it to praise a great general for his loyalty and merit to the emperor.

Hey ! How interesting it was ! It was just like the way we usually did in China.When I had done my reading I noticed a lot of Japanese watching me with an weird look on their face.

This world in my eyes.......Japan 2/2.

fathma — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:18:09 GMT

This world in my eyes.......Japan 2/2.

I was not good in Japanese then,but I definitely understood the meaning of those sentences,
"Don't forget four islands in the north!They are still calling motherland time and time again."

Looking at this,and thinking of my country,I was starting to hate the country of myown.That's what so-called the government it should be.

Their government made these posters to remind the people those islands still occupied by Russia ,and to get them back.At the same time,our damned political parties were just busy to push their people to hate and even kill each other. What a great leaders we have !It's really too great to praise.They are somebody .

Hoping to be a winner you got to know what you know and what you don't know.We,no less abilities than Japnese in every way,are short of a decent government.Japan is progressive.But that is attributed to their government.I admire them for the government they have.

This world in my eyes.......Japan 1/2.

fathma — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:57:43 GMT

This world in my eyes.......Japan 1/2.

Japan,what a hateful and admirable country it is !The first time of my life,I came to Japan as an apprentice officer on board.

I had wondered for years how it could turn out to be a powerful nation as small islands as Japan.How could it be done ?

Lots of workers came on board, and they separately took the work what they had been assigned to do beforehand in apple-pie order. A poster was on wall showing the day to finish the work and another day ahead of schedule.They all dressed in uniform and worked vigorously. they won't ask for what they shouldn't have, and took the fully duty of their own.

When lunch time came,I saw their lunchbox in which they had just a little food inside.I doubt to the foreman how a small box as this could be enough for them.I got "No problem !" for an answer.and the workers were surprisingly to see a plenty of food which we had prepared for lunch.

In the afternoon,I saw it in person that a big,heavy block lifted easily by two small,slim workers.But we,taller and biger than Japanese,just couldn't make it.That made everybody laughing on the scene.Oh! Mary and Joseph ! Is it possible that we are only a big eater.I really couldn't watch.

This is my first impression on Janan.I couldn't speak Japanese well then,but that won't stop me from going to see Yokohama.Going to the subway ,I surprisingly found no garbage on the street.It's really hard to believe.How could it be ?Getting on the subway to Tokyo,I saw passengers to offer one's seat to each other.That should be the manners told by Confucius in China.But now I saw it happened in Japan.Most part of them took their seats silently or got a book to read.No shouting at all.I,now was my turn to be a foreigner,was very boring and took a look around.Just at this moment, lifting my head to the roof of the carriage ,I was attracted by some posters hanged in the carriage.

A picture,beautifully describing a small island in the distance,was hanging up there.At the sight of that plain picture,I kept my emotions under control ,avoiding to burst into tears, turned my face toward the window ,and just pretending to be normal.Until today,that image is still on my mind livelily, I hated to be seen this way. I tried very hard to calm down myself.It's not the picture itself to touch my spirit,making me embarrassing,sorrow and hate,but those living words written on it.

The world in my eyes--Pisa,Italy

fathma — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:06:40 GMT

The world in my eyes--Pisa,Italy

Generally speaking,Chinese are serious in speech and manner.It might due to the sufferings of modern history of China.But I must confess that I have been affected a lot on my character by my Fathma.Anyway,I could feel that I am not what I was anymore since we met .

Pizza is not my favorite food but I do like that leaning tower in Pisa. When we loaded some cargos for Livorno I prepared every needs for sightseeing at the same time.

Wandering in the silent streets made me going back to the ancient Italy.When indulging in the beautiful day-dreams ,I took a notice of an old couple watching me with a very strange look of comfuseing.I was quite sure that I didn't know them at all.

"Good morning!Mister! Anything wrong ?"I asked.
"Your bag...."he said.
"My bag ? What's wrong with it ?"Lifting my bag,I asked him with lots of question on my mind.
"It's the bag of a department store of my country."he continued.
"You mean...Buenos Aires ?"I still didn't get it.
"Yes,We are from Buenos Aires,here for sightseeing."he finally gave me an answer.

What a cute elderly gentleman he is ! How could a shopping bag of Buenos Aires come out here ? No wonder he would doubt about it.After knowing that I just came from Argentina,he became
more delight to chat with me like an old friend.Can we imagine that an ordinary shopping bag could make strangers more familiar ?What a small world it is !

At this time,there were two girls of a travel group ,curiously seeing this way.I was in a hurry,and really had no time to fool around.

After a pleasant conversation,I arrived at the funny tower. No one could tell the right time to collapse.White marble tower was really beautiful. Oh ! It's better for me to look around at once before the collapse took place .Entering the tower,I got a ticket and looked for some books about Pisa.Very strange,those two girls were leaving their group and coming after me.I could feel something wrong.

Before climbing the winding stairs to the tower,they talked each other in Mandarin and enhanced their voice to make sure that I could hear it on purpose,and paid attention to my reaction too. Now I got what they wanted this moment.

It should be very greatful to meet countrymen in this place so far away from home.But why won't they open up and say hello to me directly ? I really didn't get.All right,let's had a little fun.

I just pretended to be normal about their chat and revealed not even a word of Mandarin.I was close to burst out laughing to see them completely in a maze. I went up the stairs to the top of the tower and left them downstairs.

On the top of tower,You could get the wider and beautiful panorama of entire leaning tower.Now I remember the air seems to be clean too.When I was attracted by the beautiful quare,those
two girls came up again.Mary and Joseph! They just didn't give up.This time they kept their distance from me,but still kept an eye on me, hoping to get some clues to confirm their suspicions.

I wondered why you won't just come up to me and ask .Time was up for me to return ,I must go now.

I turned to them on purpose and gave them a mysterious smile carelessly.Girls always left me a smile with no answer.This time was my turn.To tell the truth,I got them.It's not my fault. Fathma always cheer me up. I was just affected by her.I was innocent.She was the one to blame for.

How fantastic a day it is ! I like Pisa.

The world in my eyes--Masada,Israel

fathma — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:23:09 GMT

The world in my eyes--Masada,Israel

Nobody hates to travel. Traveling means a lot to me ,making new friends,exciting to new places,and sometimes ...even an unexpected surprise.

I finally got a chance to Masada being near the shore of Dead Sea .Early in the morning,I picked up my camera and guidebook, running to bus terminal for the first one to Masada via Jurusulem.

Having a look to the dark sky,I smiled at my crazy plan to an unknown place having only two buses a day from Haifa .What if I missed the return bus ?Then I should be left in the desert alone.More worse,the ship will be leaving Israel tomorrow.I must be crazy.

Just a few persons took the same bus with me.Who cares ! The time was still young.Took a nap first.Just before reaching Jerusalem,I was waked up by some soldiers.It was my first time of my life to see the bus being checked for safety.I finally got a chance to feel what the real meaning of peace is.

We took a brief stay in old city and carried on our journey to Masada. Meanwhile the temperature was gradually increasing too.There was no green trees but yellow rocks and hill on the way to Dead Sea.

After a sharp right turn,the famous Dead Sea was in sight,so close to me.How excited I became !A stretch of white sea ? No, it's a salt.What a wonderful view it is ! I had seen some guys floating on the water.

Everybody were waving their hands and said hello to us,no matter where you came from.That's the human nature,there was no war,no fighting but happy there.What a pity !Dead Sea was not the place for me .

The desolate scenery was coming to me again.After a very boring driving,I started to be seized with panic for not knowing the place to get off.If I missed the right stop to get off,then,the next stop would be Eilat.My Jesus !

Seeing the neighbor who was watching his guidebook,I thought there might be a hope to ask his help.Can you imagine what his answer will be ?

"Hi! How do you do ?Where are you going ?"I asked very politely.
"I'm going to Masada."the English said.

What a coincidence !I thought.That answer released much of my worry.

"But,I don't know where to stop ."he continued very calmly and with a very innocent smile I had ever seen.

"Wha...t ? Come again ,please." I said in a panic voice.

Oh! My holy God , To hear this I almost jumped up on the bus.Until that day I still believed that I was very bold ,but now I knew that it was not a big deal at all to compare with this hero. Jesus! I had no time ,no mood to enjoy the scenery outside the windows anymore.The bus could have already passed Masada .It could possiblely be on the road to Eilat now.I was dead this time.Mama Mia !

"Don't worry ! Masada is a tourist place,there must be a lot of tourists to get off there.All we have to do is following them."this gentleman still answered with a free heart.

Sounds reasonable,and makes sense too.I felt easy in mind.At last, we finally got the place .We were happily get off the bus,and the bus went on his journey to Eilat too.

I was quite shocked.Guess why ? All the passengers to get off were only two of us.

My God! I swore that it would never ever happen again.

The world in my eyes--Israel 3

fathma — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 10:43:45 GMT

The world in my eyes--Israel 3

We all know that the parents are great , but how great is it ? I think I could get it.

The job on board is always busy.In Haifa,after a day's work,every body was happy to do what they like.
I just finished my work on deck,and being back to my cabin.

A duty able seaman running to me.....
"Officer ! a worker come on board for something,I don't get what he want."The weather was snowing outside,and the time was very late for going home too.I just wondered...

A middle age worker came to me with a little shy and told me "I find out that there is a sago cycad on board.If getting one for my son,I believe he would love me more." He hoped to buy one.

Hearing this,the duty able seaman was returning back to his cabin and holding a beautiful one that he cherished most to him.The happy father asked what the price was .I happily smiled and told him "For the greatest father on earth ,it is free."

At this moment,I saw a grateful face of a great father.and I seemed to realize what the meaning of parents too.

The world in my eyes--Israel 2

fathma — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:30:41 GMT

The world in my eyes--Israel 2

Going to Haifa,you wouldn't miss that shining roof among a great stretch of green trees on the hill of mount Carmel.

What is that ? I got to see it myself. Climbing up the long stairs before the building made me so tired that I almost couldn't stand well.
Wow ! What a beautiful garden and golden roof it is ! Beyond the green garden is a white mansion with no name. Hum !It must be very valuable,I guessed. Let me saw it closely if I could get some...Oh..just a piece of it would be enough for me.

I walked toward it very carefully,making no sound as possible as I could.Beautiful garden with many different colors of flowers made me feel to be in the fairy land. Keep silence!

Finally,approaching to the mansion,I took a peep at it. No gold in it,but a few persons were sitting inside,with their eyes closed.It's so quiet that I thought no one here by mistake.What are they doing after all? Very strange !

Suddenly,I was scared by a young lady coming from nowhere. and to my surprise ,she could speak Mandarin for being from HongKong. I was very happy,because I am very good in Mandarin.She made me a brief introduction of Bahai Temple .

When talking about the religion,I told her what I thought about it for years.If you,all the people here,believed in nothing. I thought there were no such a plenty of dead.

Well, the result was a most beautiful smile to me. Hum! giving me no answer again.That's the way the girls used to be. Was I wrong on that ?

The world in my eyes--Israel 1

fathma — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:41:24 GMT

The world in my eyes--Israel 1

It's a drizzling day again. On the freezing street left nothing but the silence in the air. Staring into the dark,rainy sky through the windows ,I seem to see the sad old man in the distance again.

That was a similar day as today,I just came back from Jerusalem and running to the port Haifa from bus station.
The sky was getting dark and the increasing snow gave me no choice but to stop under the eaves of a pavilion at custom's entrance.

I was hesitated for the next to do.The door suddenly opened.With a friendly voice "Come in! Son! It's cold outside."came out an old man.Maybe,leaving family too long a time,hearing this ,I felt a warm current through my heart. We were having a joyful chat about job,place to come from....till the hometown.

He had lived near the border and told me the fact that everyday he could only know his son's leaving in the morning but couldn't tell whether his child would be back or not, holding back his tears in eyes.

I was shocked at that moment. What kind of torture to an old father it will be !That's the first time for me to realize this country .I don't know what to say .Mighty God,
where are you ? Aren't the people living on this land your children ?

Say goodby to the past.

fathma — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:30:22 GMT

Say goodby to the past.

Life is always full of surprise.Good or bad,no matter how you take it,you got to face it bravely.
Making these statement,I don't mean to show off,and it really has nothing worth to do so.I take it as a kind of confession to God in the church.

Every year on Valentine's Day,that painful memory will surely jumpt to me in my heart of hearts.I can't take it anymore.I got to do something.

I'm quite sure I can't go on like this.I got to get rid of her.But I just can't do it.Especially ,when the night comes........deep in the night.....

I really wish to say goodby to my past.It's not a surprise at all. But could I ?

Why is Ebaby the right place that I always wanted ?

fathma — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 03:15:48 GMT

Why is Ebaby the right place that I always wanted ?

No matter how you experienced your life ,happy or sad,there were always a lot of secret hiding deep in your heart of hearts.And in the end,those secrets will turn into a heavy burden to you.

Here,I have my blog to release it .Revealing everything to no one let me have a strange feeling of making a confession to God. It makes me feel much better.

That's the reason why.

Why don't you go home with me ?

fathma — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:34:15 GMT

Why don't you go home with me ?

Every year ,I shall be tortured again on the Valentine's Day.
Many years have passed, I'm afraid that you might have put me behind already.But I just can't get rid of you.You are always there ,deep in my heart.

Postponing the contract with company more than 6 months,I really had to go home to promote my license.But,at that very moment of leaving you still gave me no answer to my eager question "Why don't you go home with me ?"

I wasn't aware of the consequence that the question would become a torture to me later on.

Today,on this silent night of Valentine's Day,I confess that I really didn't get how you felt at that moment,and hated you a little then. You should let me know even you couldn't make it. I miss you!

On this Valentine's Day,I do wish to tell everybody that if you couldn't marry your lover,for God's sake ,never pick up with her.

Say hello to everybody

fathma — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 08:27:04 GMT

Say hello to everybody

I'm a new comer here ,hoping to make friends ,to disscuss any annoying matters with everybody.

Life is full of various kinds of trouble ,which are not esay to be solved . So, how about talking to your friend ? Maybe, the answer will be very simple and just right here.

Let me be your friend.

fathma