Night Chating of Seafarer
Taiwan
January 18, 2009
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Being isolated from the society for such a long time ,made me like a fool. It was really a funny thing to say that I had never known how to make a girl friend.But....I got to do something
about my problem.
One day, the papers says that an activity of courtship will take place at World trade center for the singles . Caring for nothing,I went to see what help it could give.
After a brief introduction,the compere wanted me to be the first to appear on the stage the following day.And what the worse was that the rule had been changed,that the gentlemen
won't be sitting there down the stage and awaiting ladies to choose the target as usual ,for having a few gentlemen to take part in the activity this time.On the contrary,throwing an
embroidered ball to the ladies would be the gentlemen this time.
"Mamma Mia!" , how could it become this way ?
At that worried meeting, from the backstage I could hear the whole crowd out in the auditorium.At that moment a strange thought ,a criminal to be executed, came upon me.
I felt uncomfortable again as if to meet the parents of Fati'ma.That desire to run away seemed to pop up gain.Making a girl friend seemed to be just difficult to me.
Having the first turn,my clock was running out.I looked out over the auditorium and took a deep breath.I was about to take my first step to the stage. I felt my legs shivering again
,the same feeling as on the bus to meet her parents.
A lot of ladies sat straight down the stage,stared at me up and down with dilated eyes.Unbelievable! it is really a terrible thing to be seen by so many people simultaneously.I bet
that it must be something you never know.To chose one you like ? It must be kidding in this way.To end it and run away immediately was all I could think about at that time.
A pretty lady sat there with a look of meditation. Hey ! What was eating you ?All right! It was you! I threw my embroidered ball to her very seriously.On my way back to the curtain,I
couldn't refrain myself from making a turn to see whether she missed it .
Just at this moment,I saw her holding that embroidered ball and giving me an unbelievable look.For being so mbarrassing , I smiled upon her.
God knows what it's all about !
Was my spring of love on it's way finally ? When love came to you, it's step was always quicker beyond your imagination.
I felt uneasy for love coming so soon and easy. We had a joyful beginning,.....and shouldn't it be ending in a good result ?
Obviously,God didn't let me go . It went by contraries at last that what I loved became what I hurt .I intended to marry,that meant to own my wife and children,of course. I finally knew
what her meditation . And I had no right to make such promise for children in the future.
Fatima in Brazil made me a test of courage; but this time she made a test of reason to me. There was no choice for me but to break her heart .
I was going to wonder what kind of test would be next.
I failed,but didn't give hope up. There was another activity of throwing an embroidered ball coming.A little frustration couldn't put a stop to my goal.I was quite sure about the way I was
going;without the help of the other part of mine,I could get no where.
The same hustle and bustle activity didn't bring me the same passion as first time.This time,I took a different role in the play .
The awaiting show finally began. Everybody standing below the stage wished to get that chance on her hand. But....,when hearing their conversation up there I,slowly,moved back to
keep the stage at a distance. Meanwhile,I observed that I was not alone.
"What if you have to quit your job in the furture for your family ?"said the compere.
"No,I will never give up my job."said the pretty girl standing on the stage.
Her statement surely had brought the attention of all the audience on the scene.
"Right,you ,surely have the right to say so." I told myself disappointedly. I really couldn't ask the other party so much as to give up her favorite job. When I was sinking deeply into meditations. I,suddenly, noticed her beautiful eyes gazing at me,so familiar as those of Fatima. It seemed revealing some things to me...,But,I was willing to sacrifice myself for my
wife,children and family .I thought she was not my type.
I still kept the stage at a distance,which was surely beyond her ability to reach.I was so
depressed.
It was so happened that the embroidered ball directly fly to my way,dropped down in front of me.It was within my reach.
An answer to get it flashed through my brain was momentary. But I didn't .....,part of it was afraid of what she had said, was very scared to have another frustration as ever in Brazil.
I gave up that chance, and I saw her plaintive eyes as my Fati'ma's by chance. I was very sorry too.
Since I knew her strong tendency of keeping her job,how I could take her to be my wife.Right! I should admit that she was really a beauty. Surely,what she wanted might not be happened
in the future.But,apparently,she won't sacrifice herself even for her own family.That's one thing to be sure. Something doomed to go for nothing shouldn't take place from the beginning.
I learned the lesson already. I won't make the same mistake again.
On my way home,with bad mood,I told myself that I had done my best,and it seemed to be for nothing again.Because,I was informed of another job ,by company ,to Japan one week later.