Shirin's blog by Shirin2U | English, baby! Blogs

Jokes

Shirin2U — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:44:14 GMT

Jokes

A LETTER TO GOD

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1

Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2

Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3

Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4

God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5

God,
I've kidnapped your mama. If you want to see her again, send the bike!!

Marriage

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

SOFTWARE ENGINEERS!!

There was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ....

(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!!)
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.

He died last week

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

ARE YOU KIDDING??

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

SOME FACTS ABOUT BOYS AND GIRLS...

If boy laughs, he is MANNERLESS, if girl does so she is JOLLY.

If a boy talks to much, he is CHATTERBOX, if a girl does so she is WITTY.

If boy loves silence, he is DULL, if a girl loves it, she is SERIOUS.

If boy looks at a girl he STARES, if a girl looks at a boy, she gives GLANCE.

If a boy wears a unique dress, he is a JOKER, if a girl does so it's a FASHION.

If boys move together, they form a GANG, if girls do so they form a GROUP.

If a boy initiates a conversation, he is FLIRTING, if girl does so she is INTERESTED.

FUNNY RIDDLE

Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.

"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"

The Polish guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs, "I give up, what has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"

"You and your friend!!" the bum staggers away chuckling.

The Polish guys look at each other and start laughing. "That was a funny riddle that bum told us", they say, "let's go do it on someone."

Laughing almost hysterically, they see two American guys. They come up to them and smile.

"Hey guys!" they laugh. "We got a riddle for you! What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT?"

The American guys shrug, waiting for the answer.

The Polish guys chuckle again, and one of them says as he smirks, "Me and my friend!!!"

SUICIDAL SARDAR

An American, an Italian and a Sardar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...

They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The Sardar opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dal again. If I get paratha and daal one more time I'm jumping too."

Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps. The Sardar opens his lunch, sees paratha and daal and jumps to his death also...

At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping... She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef & cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Italian's wife also weeps and says "I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Sardar's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

SMART MALLU

A beautiful "Mallu" female( from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY and also said she is good at english. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire, gold, well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN".

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then maybe I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK".

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said :
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW....BLUE'S that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, wrong number....Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank You."

The Manager fainted........

CROCODILE BOOTS

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims:

"71st and *again* bare feet!"

SMS

Shirin2U — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:38:48 GMT

SMS

Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon.... and suddenly I thought... where the hell is my roof?

A - U'r Attractive B - U'r D Best C - U'r Cute D - U'r Dear 2 me E - U'r Excellent F - U'r Funny G - U'r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I'm J - Just K - Kidding

If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

If you ask me for how long
will i be your friend?
then my answer will be
"i don't know".
b'coz i really don't know whiich is longer
forever or always.

Never waste an opportunity 2 say

''I love U'' to someone u really like,

coz it is not everyday u"ll meet the

person who has the magic to let u fall in love.

The height of pain in life is to sit near the person
u love d most .....
knowing that the person can neve b urs ...!!!!!

Never try alone to take the weights of tear
that comes out of ur heart &
falls through ur eyes ……..
ALWAYS REMEMBER A FRIEND IS HERE TO SHARE…..!

A Wonderful saying ….
"Trying to forget someone you love is like
Trying to remember someone u've never met ..!!!"

When I was alone I miss u most !
When I stay with others , I knew the value of u !
When U R with me I like to miss this whole world ……..

Hundred words does not give pain…..
But
A true friend s silence makes more tears in heart ……
So always keep in touch my FRIEND………….

I Hide my tears when I say ur name
But
The pain in my heart is still the same
Altho
I smile and seem carefree,
There 's No one who misses u More than me …!!!

Never Ignore a person who
Luvs u
Cares 4 u &
Misses U
Bcoz
One day u may wake up frm ur sleep
And realize that u've lost the moon while counting stars ……..!!!!

SOME SAY-love is a dynamic complexity of matters
" "- love is laughing with others not at them
" "-some say love is a disease ,then if it's SO I AM AT THE LAST STAGE

Words begin with ….A….B….C….
Number begin with….1….2….3….
Music begin with….SA….RE….GA….
BUT….?
FRIENDSHIP begins with….’
‘You&Me”

Do you wanna know.how.much i miSs U.? Try catching the raindropS...~the oneS u catch are how much.u.misS me... and the oneS u misS.are.how.much i miSs u

everyone.sayS u only fall in love.once--but thatS not true., everytime i hear your voice i fall in love again.and.again.

If one day u aSk me.which iS more important.., 'me or your life'..I will say 'my life'..and u will walk away w/out knowing that U are 'my life...'

If you think my eyes are beautiful it's because they are looking at you….

Some people have nice eyes..

Some people have a nice smile and some of them have a nice face.

But u have all of them with a nice heart….

Frndship isn't about.. whom you have known the Longest..
who came First..
or who Cares the Best..
It's all about Who Came and Never left..

I made a list of special persons in my life wid pencil,when i came 2 ur name i decide 2 use permanent marker bcoz i want 2 keep u in my life 4ever

"Troubles in Life are like a Washing Machine,They Twist, Turn & Knock Us Around but in the End we Come Out Brighter & Better Than Before"

Each Relationship requires real effort..Even when each of Us r busy with our own lives..
A simple sms reminds each other that u r not forgotten.

lf you get less messages from me, don't think that l didn't care for you, but l'm searching for the best message for a best person like you!

Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

Friends are like stars…you do not always see them but you know they are always there!