JustFewWords

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August 13, 2008
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Last few months I´ve been solving one really big dilemma. Well, it´s important to me. A lot. I and my family are two different elements:) Water and fire...and so on. I guess I am water in this case. I think I am the one who tries to do compromises, who tries to explain and find way out. But my family....they burn and burn, they try to be blind, don´t care what I need and what I find right. Are all the parents like this?? Hellooo, are here any parents?!

  First  I thought "come onn....you´re just a teenager, it´s normal that you don´t get on well with your family!" But does teenage age appear like finding God and the right way? Well, I think no. I think that teenagers are mostly very moody people who don´t agree with anything anywhere and find themselves victoms of the embarrassing world of adults....hmmm....wait, it means....I am not a teenager and I have never been. Wow, can please anyone explain this to my parents??????

The problem is that I was born in wrong place. It happens, not? If you read my last blogs, you could find that I really don´t like western society and the way of life here. I love my family, sure, it´s my duty. But how can I make them happy if they don´t let me be happy? I want something else, not what they find normal and good. Their normal is agains my principles. And I can´t break my principles. Cause I would break God´s rules then.

I found my right way, but when I show it, I risk losing my family, their understanding, support and contact. I know I can´t lose their love. I can´t find compromise in this. I can´t leave God...

 

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March 30, 2008
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THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I AM WRITING THIS!!! CAUSE IT DELETED ON IT OWN BEFORE!!!

I know one girl. She is my very good friend and she has always a big smile on her face. Just at times, there appear tears in her eyes. And I know that it´s always because of boys. Slovak boys are simply bad. It´s the old story, how media, movies, fashion and lifestyle magazines influence people. Yeah, yeah, I know, Middle aged words what I am saying. But especially, when my mum buys a women magazine "Emma" I am always interested what new stupid advices for modern emancipated women are gonna be given there. I have never been shocked yet. Oh, no, just once I was. The title for 3 interesting pages was "How many ex-lovers can men accept to us?". Hmm, another guide for liberal life I thought. In reality, it was the survey among men who were asked how many ex-lovers they can "not even notice" for their super girlfriends. Well, I needed to sit down then I saw that NO ONE prefer 0. There was NO zero in whole article, no example of man who wants 0!!! I can´t still believe it, cause I know that men don´t like when their women have had other men before. When I turned another page and I read that averaged number of those respected ex-lovers is 7, I couldn´t believe my eyes. 7!!!!!!!!!! When i  spoke about it to mwntioned friend, she wasn´t mazed at all. She tried to explain me how it goes in the kind of life that I don´t try to reach at all. Girls even compete for which of them has had more men(This used to be fun for men, btw).

Hmmm, well...I guess I am gonna shoot myselfI am totally out, not cool at all. I am soo lost...noooo!!! Hehe, not really. I love to be Tina, this out, uncool and not really favouorite girl here. And I hope that "Emma" is not gonna be bought at all. At first, I told my mum not to buy it. I guess it´s nice start, isn´t it? So let´s boycott these horrible things.  Cause women can get influenced very easily. I know what I am talking about. And men, Slovak, European, Western men like to exploit it a lot. And consider those in the survery, I am sure they have never heard about real love yet...

Kisses for all good ppl

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March 22, 2008
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It was 100% love at the first sight. She couldn´t stop staring into his deep black eyes. His name was blowing her mind everywhere she stood. He was different or better said, she thought that. Her way was too long. She has met men intelligent, handsome, clever but...was that was she has been looking for? Every her lover missed something. It was maybe just a small detail, but for her it was whole world. He had deep and big faith, he was faithful, believed in love forever and ever, he didn´t want from her what her western lovers wanted so much. And she was blinded. She believed everything he said, his words were her Bible. But her family knew how it will end, they were older, much clever, had experiences. They didn´t agree with her decisions about their life together. Another problem was distance, very long distance. She was European, he was from different culture. Both believed in God, both wanted happy life with 4 children, nice house and garden, good job out of the centre of London....bla bla bla...it hurts even now when she is thinking of it. She is sitting alone in a hotel room, thinking of another steps in her life and minutes of her saying goodbye to him. Tears of sadness and disappointment are running down her face, should she regret her leaving after the promises he gave and didn´t fulfil, maybe he wanted but couldn´t. Anyway she said enough, she was influenced by her friends, family and culture, she had to say bye. She loves him and will forever, but their relation has no future, she hopes that he understands....

I love u Med

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