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October 15, 2008
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One more rainy day, one more cup of coffee with milk, one more cigarette…that thing that is killing her but she simply like it. The cold adjoining with the rain makes her feel melancholic, makes her sit down near to the window watching the sky crying for the negligence of human beings; but for her Mother Earth is still so beautiful, even in her also slow death.
One more thought about what surround her, she has few friends, too much known people… loneliness, this comfortable silence allows her to hear the beats of the heart that she thought was dead so long ago; that’s one of the few things that makes her feel alive.
Through the window she sees a couple kissing each other under the tears of heaven; that reminds her how beautiful things can be while they last, and how fast they end, sometimes with a happy ending, sometimes with a sad ending…
That happened to her friend she thinks, while the smoke that she expires make figures in the cold air… one more sip of coffee in the name of her friend who all that did was to love a girl unconditionally, he really fell in love of that girl, he gave her everything that he has to give; the distance that separated them wasn’t an impediment to him, it was just something that made more huge the need of being with his couple… what he got in return? The ability to feel without touch or being touched, to hear without any noise in the environment, to watch and live the future just using the imagination, to love despite the distance… “Love hurts” he said, this phrase is in her head repeating itself and reminded her what she learned of her friend’s lived experience… the ingratitude is the worse defect of human beings; that there’s still hope because as her, there are seekers of true love, that sometimes “everything” is not enough, that between human beings exist endangered species.
“Where is my fairy tale?” she thinks, while with her breath tarnish the glass of the window and draw a heart on it; she didn’t realized that her lips are suddenly wet because of a tear who made the trip on her cheek until her soft lips… now she’s crying with the sky for the same and one more reason… one more tear to clean her eyes, to let go all that sadness and sorrow that rarely she remind when the sky cry.
Oh dear Steph, my alter ego, you’re the only one who don’t find peace in someone’s promises, who cry for sadness while I cry for joy, who keep me treading on the floor, who is fragile and sensible… Come to my Eden, where there are no rotting fruits and my neighbor is God.
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