it really hurts!

It’s the hardest time for me and my husband. I feel nothing but hurt. It’s the worst day ever for a woman like me, who has been so eager to be a mother. Three months ago, I thought I was the happiest woman in the world, because I was going to have my own baby. It was the best thing ever that had happened to us. In that period of time, nothing would be difficult for me to take, nothing would let me down, nothing …

Now, I have to face the third abortion of my life. I lost my baby again. I don’t know how many women in the world have had this nightmare, how many women have to undergo this loss, but it really hurts, to me.

I don’t know whether it is because I have too much happiness, so they have to take some away from me.

I can’t remember how many times I told myself ---when you lost, tell yourself : “there is less to lose”. But still, I can’t get rid of the feeling that I am a loser, totally a loser.

How people wish time would go backward. But this time I wish time would go faster, taking my hurts far far far away…