handwriter

handwriter's Friends (592)

View all friends >

Add comment

Recent Comments

09:44 PM Feb 27 2009
carolina da sila Brazil

07:05 AM Dec 15 2008
little windmilll China	hello friend ,,seems really long time no see, and hope everything goes very well with u and ur work ur students as well ,,i am back from my horrible for a time ,and i am strugle for the final exams for the moment ,and when is ur holliday ?hope u can enjoy it ,and spare some time here ,and hope to hear from u ,

Add comment | View all comments >

handwriter's Blog

January 19, 2009
Viewed 615 times.

I’ll Take Two Scoops Of Whatever Flavor You Might Have – Sight Unseen

I have heard it said so many times that “it is normal” to not be able to fall in love with someone before having first seen that person in the flesh – having first seen his or her face and/or body.  I agree that one may not “fall in love,” whatever that means, with someone else simply by having voice or letter correspondence, for example chatting over the Internet.  But this isn’t because of the idea that I believe that one needs to know the color or fashion of another’s hair design, or the size or shape of another’s chest or the length of an inseam or the circumference of another’s waist before being able to love another.  No, it is because there is no true security of truth in chat – there have been far too many sad case histories to support this.

We have become a “visual” society.   And most certainly this isn’t any different from any other history of man – man has always, it seems, made “quality” judgments based on what he or she sees physically.  I can know that something is hot, and that it could cause pain if I were to touch it with a bare hand without anyone telling me - I can do it by simply having “seen” that the thing was hot, and had made the judgment based on the physical appearance of the thing – I have learned this from my parents, as well by some personal experiences – sad to say.  This is all about man and his ability to reason.  But how can one know the quality (the temperature) of another’s heart or whether or not one could “fall” or be in love *(sexually speaking) with another person, other than with his or herself, merely by seeing their physical body and having accepted the idea of having a sexual relationship with that other person?  This is what I care to mean or to imply when I say that we have become a “visual” society or people.

*I say “sexually speaking” because after all that is what we are talking about really when we say, falling in love – I mean to say, that is what “I” am talking about here.  I am not addressing the issue of one having love for one’s mother or father or having a love for one’s country or for ice cream. Equally, I am not suggesting that “sexual” love is the same as what I would call “true” love.  I am saying that for most of us we make judgments of sexual worth or willingness of sharing our bodies sexually, based on appearance rather than true matters of the heart – or “true” love.  And again, to me sexual wants and desires is not what I would call “true love.”  If one says that he or she needs to see another before deciding if he or she could love the other person is like having to first see a certain ice cream flavor before deciding whether or not to “love that flavored ice cream” – the actual tasting and proving comes later.  I mean to say, I can learn to love a certain flavored ice cream without ever having seen it.  It is equally true about my being able to “fall” in love with someone without ever seeing their body with my physical eyes.  But for so many of us, we say that we must see a thing or a person with our naked eyes before being able to love it or him or her.

So when I hear someone saying such things like, “I need to see your photo before I can know if I love you or not,” is not what I would call true love, and truly this is not what they are saying – it is more like making a flavored ice cream preference.  To me what is truly being said is, “I can’t agree on having sex with you until I know that I want your naked body touching my body before I have seen it.”  And I buy that.  I too would not want to think of the idea of accepting to have sex with someone (speaking of having only a sexual experience without regards to having love for that person) until I have first seen the “flavor” of that body – if that would be my intent – which it is not.

What I do not agree with is the idea of the need of having to see someone’s body before being able to love that person – even as a lover.  My point is that to truly be in love with someone, even if sex would be a part of the love experience, should not and truly is not based on physical appearance – that is solely superficial appreciation and has to do with the desire to have a physical (chemically induced) orgasm or to be physically satisfied as with eating a certain flavored ice cream – if there is any love to be seen here, it would be, if anything other than superficial, self-love.

True love has nothing to do with that which is physical – most religionists who believe in a God or higher power would have to agree with this idea – well if they truly are believers, never having physically seen their God.

So if you want to see my photo – that’s cool, but don’t say it is because you want to see it for the reason of deciding if you want or could fall in love with me.  Tell me the true purpose of why you want to see my photo.  And yes, maybe all you truly want to be is friends and that you are just curious to know what your friend looks like – this is a reasonable and expected – a “normal” curiosity.

As for me, all are my friends and what their or your body measurements are has no bearing on whether I will accept them or you as a friend or not.  Now if you are interested in only having sex with me – well that is of another topic, “Self-respect.”

So whatever your flavor is, if you respect me, no matter your color, size, shape or whatever container you come in – even if you are stuffed in a cone - I will like you, and I will consider you my friend – with or without a photo.  So let us order a double scoop, and let us chat.

• 1 Comment 
• Comment on this

More entries: Double Scoop (1), AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (only jokes – don’t do these really). (2), Dominent Alpha , Cool-warmed, wet-stained sheets (1), LAW & ORDER, Kill me now..., Dead Tree Beautiful (2), 508 And Still Planting (1), Beautifully Dead (I need some suggestions on how to post a photo in here). (2), 437 & Still Planting: Welcome to the most beautiful flower garden on earth! (5)

View all entries >

Rate Profile:

Recent Forum Posts:

• Program or Programme?