English Lessons

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

Sep 16 2007

Lesson

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I
be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

Comments

1 through 10 of 32 Next >

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06:16 AM Sep 18 2007 \| Reply
jean55 Virgin Islands, U.S.	Hello j e a n _ d o m a @ y a h o o .c o m My name is Miss. jean a single young girl,searching for a mature man with sense also that's kind, caring , understandable and loving and after reading your profile, i derive interest on you so here's my private email address, (j e a n _ d o m a @ y a h o o .c o m) so that i will be sending some of my photos directly to your email box for futher introduction ok, awaiting your respond. kisess with love and cherish you forever. jean.

06:16 AM Sep 18 2007 | Reply

jean55

Virgin Islands, U.S.

Hello
j e a n _ d o m a @ y a h o o .c o m
My name is Miss. jean a single young girl,searching for a mature man with sense also that's kind, caring , understandable and loving and after reading your profile, i derive interest on you so here's my private email address, (j e a n _ d o m a @ y a h o o .c o m) so that i will be sending some of my photos directly to your email box for futher introduction ok, awaiting your respond.
kisess with love and cherish you forever.
jean.

12:18 AM Sep 22 2007 \| Reply
silent_sam Canada	Ha ha ha … some of these are very funny. Good job.

12:18 AM Sep 22 2007 | Reply

silent_sam

Canada

Ha ha ha … some of these are very funny. Good job.

09:38 AM Oct 13 2007 \| Reply
irinutza4you Romania	i really like some of these…very good job…keep going like this…see u

09:38 AM Oct 13 2007 | Reply

irinutza4you

Romania

i really like some of these…very good job…keep going like this…see u

02:41 PM Oct 13 2007 \| Reply
Evelinutea Lithuania	good job…:)

02:41 PM Oct 13 2007 | Reply

Evelinutea

Lithuania

good job…:)

12:45 AM Nov 01 2007 \| Reply
drama Venezuela	the answers r soo stupid! lol but! i loved it~ thankx

12:45 AM Nov 01 2007 | Reply

drama

Venezuela

the answers r soo stupid! lol but! i loved it~ thankx

12:06 PM Dec 26 2007 \| Reply
M.JEYADAVADOSSAR India	Thank you very much for you have made me laugh.

12:06 PM Dec 26 2007 | Reply

M.JEYADAVADOSSAR

India

Thank you very much for you have made me laugh.

12:47 AM Dec 27 2007 \| Reply
RoyalHeart Saudi Arabia	GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? LoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoL Realy good ones, thnx for making us laugh… keep on doing it you hear .

12:47 AM Dec 27 2007 | Reply

RoyalHeart

Saudi Arabia

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
LoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoL

Realy good ones, thnx for making us laugh… keep on doing it you hear .

10:41 AM Dec 28 2007 \| Reply
AlNaqbi United Arab Emirates	hahahaha … some of them are really funny

10:41 AM Dec 28 2007 | Reply

AlNaqbi

United Arab Emirates

hahahaha … some of them are really funny

08:51 AM Dec 30 2007 \| Reply
elsachristy India	answers r funny but sometimes usefull in life specially this one "BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy."

08:51 AM Dec 30 2007 | Reply

elsachristy

India

answers r funny but sometimes usefull in life specially this one "BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy."

09:40 AM Dec 30 2007 \| Reply
ed9teen Philippines	how come mother became men.. Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman".

09:40 AM Dec 30 2007 | Reply

ed9teen

Philippines

how come mother became men..

Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

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