Importance of english today - funny

Importance of english today
• An employee applied for leave as follows:
“Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.”
________
• Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”
______
•
“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”
________
• Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
______
• An incident of a leave letter:
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.”
______
• A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”
______
• Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”
______
• Covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”
______
• Another one:
“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…”
______
• Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.
______
• Letter writing:-
“I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.”
________
• A candidate’s job application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ’ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.