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Livin' at Home

Livin' at Home

Date: Nov 30 2007

Themes: Family

Grammar: You're vs. Your

Intro

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When angry, American fathers commonly shout, “As soon as you’re 18, you’re on your own means a lot. It means you’re a legal adult, and, more often than not, people move out of their parents’ home when they are 18.

...And some of them come back or never leave at all. Adults live with their parents for lots of reasons. Sometimes their parents need care, or they need a place to stay to save up money after college. Even though it’s relatively common, people tend to look down on adults who live with their parents in the United States. Listen to Beren and Marni talk about it.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Marni

Marni

Beren

Beren

Marni:  So I was reading that Time Magazine article recently about when you…Like, people in their 30s and moving back in with their parents…

Beren:  Yeah, that’s a huge thing.

Marni:  Yeah, and I was thinking, you know, in this culture, there’s such a stigma against living with your parents past a certain age. Like, you’re sort of viewed as a failure or something. But in many cultures, in many places in the world it’s pretty normal to live with your family.

Beren:  Yeah, you don’t move out until you’re married. And if you never marry, you never move out.

Marni:  Well, that or even sometimes you marry and yet you just live with your family and then, you know…Sort of in this country, I think parents move back in once they’re elderly, but it’s like, there’s this huge gap of time where it’s totally taboo and frowned upon, if you will…

Beren:  I know a bunch of people who are actually moving back in with their parents.

Marni:  I did it for like half a year when I was 29. It was great. I saved a lot of money.

Beren:  Yeah?

Marni:  Yeah. And my parents were happy to have me there. It’s an interesting thing. I don’t know…Is it so terrible?

 

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Discussion

Marni recently read an article about how many grown Americans are moving back in with their parents. It made her think about how in many countries, it’s perfectly normal to live with your parents past 30.

Beren notes that in a lot of places, people live with their families until they get married. But Marni points out that sometimes even married people continue to live with their family.

In the US, parents sometimes move in with their children when they get older and need someone to help take care of them. But there is a gap of 30 or 40 years between when the child turns 18 and the parents become elderly when it’s regarded as strange for them to live together.

Nonetheless, Beren knows a few people who have moved back in with their parents. Marni lived with her parents for a brief time a little while ago. She saved money and her parents were glad she was there. What’s so wrong about living with your parents when you’re an adult?

 

Comments

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Sally Turquoise

United Kingdom

In my country fortunately we don’t have such a thing .. Personally I can’t imagine my life far from my parents .. Living in the campus for a while is unberable so how it’s gonna be if I left forever ..!!! 

07:15 AM Jan 28 2015 |

1 person likes this

you_know

China

well, in china, live with parents is really common, unless you have a lot of money ,then you can buy your own house, in china ,house price is so high that most of us can’t buy our house without parents’ help or being debt. I agree with Beren. living with parents not only saves money,but also makes us closer.

05:50 AM Mar 08 2014 |

alishkh

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

ctually we have varied cultures throughout the world!.Unlike the U.S,in my country,Iran, mostly children live along with their families‏ ‏almost across the board until they get married.Here the age avarage of marriage for boys is around 27 and for girls is about 23,until then they stay with their parents‏.‏I think some people may consider those living with their families as individuals who cann’t stand on their own feet.It is not true about all cases,by way of example,Since some of them have very close ties with their families affectionately,it is rather unlikely that they leave their parents.In my opinion, except for people’s subjectivity in this regard,there is nothing else wrong with living so.

07:28 PM Mar 07 2014 |

1 person likes this

kimnga

kimnga

Viet Nam

In my country, living with parents is a good thing ; especially when they are old and weak. They really need to have somebody like their children around to talk with them so they don’t feel lonely. And when they are sick,  their children are always there for them.

10:54 PM Mar 04 2014 |

1 person likes this

sara1998

sara1998

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

In Iran girls and usually boys don’t leave their parents house till they marry and also when they got married it’s their duty to go and meet their parents!


Also some times when parents become older they go and live with their children!


;)

09:29 AM Jan 18 2014 |

1 person likes this

englishteacher24/7

United States

Ttsuka and Yousef, thanks for providing this good cultural information. During the past century in the US, there were multiple generations living in the same house. However, that began to change during the 50’s and 60’s when children began to raise their families and live in their own homes.


The irony is now some children are remaining with their parent(s) and many are not getting married. On the other hand, some parents are selling their place and moving in with their children.


I think the basis of these changes are economic and health reasons. One other factor may be a reluctance to make commitments.


It is interesting to learn of other cultures and how things are changing.

01:35 PM Nov 16 2013 |

ttsuka

ttsuka

Japan

Japan is one of apparently many countries where it is culturally acceptable that adult children live at home.  Traditionally, male siblings except for the eldest were supposed to leave the house when they finished school at the age of 17 or so.  If they lived in rural communities, they would most likely move to an urban area to find a job and start their own households there.  The remaining eldest son was expected to succeed the family and take care of his parents.  Because maintaining the family lineage was an important priority, these sons had to get married, particularly when they were farmers.  Thus, there were many match-makers around to make sure that would happen.  Daughters would stay home until they got married.  If they married with eldest sons, they would live with the husbands’ parents.  Otherwise, they would start new households with their husbands in a city. 


This customary, albeit changing rapidly, is the pattern that is most expected even now.  So, nowadays, when you are in large cities, where housing is expensive, you notice many houses that are divided into two households – typically, the first floor for the older generation and the second and third floors for the younger one with children.  When the time comes and the old parents pass away, the younger couple in the upstairs move down to the first floor and their eldest son would take over the upstairs with his new family. The old custom is supposed to continue in this way.


There is a disturbing new trend though.   For some reason we have not figured out, people find getting married more difficult these days.  So, it is becoming increasingly common that an adult single son, daughter, or both well beyond 30 years old continue to live in with their parents. They have never left the house and the middle-aged son and his old parents live together with no young children around in the house.  For example, I know a household which had a son and two daughters.  The youngest, a daughter, married and left the house but the other two never did.  Eventually their parents died but the son and the other daughter, both in their late 50s and single, live together in the house.  The problem in this case is the old siblings do not get along at all.  Why doesn’t one of them move out?  Probably for economic reasons – a not so uncommon story in the economically depressed modern Japan.

12:19 PM Nov 16 2013 |

yousefkohpeyma

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Actually we have varied cultures throughout the world!.Unlike the U.S,in my country,Iran, mostly children live along with their families‏ ‏almost across the board until they get married.Here the age avarage of marriage for boys is around 27 and for girls is about 23,until then they stay with their parents‏.‏I think some people may consider those living with their families as individuals who cann’t stand on their own feet.It is not true about all cases,by way of example,Since some of them have very close ties with their families affectionately,it is rather unlikely that they leave their parents.In my opinion, except for people’s subjectivity in this regard,there is nothing else wrong with living so.

10:25 PM Oct 12 2013 |

manu_wj

manu_wj

Italy

In Italy it works just Ngubo Sixt


us ’ s Cauntry. Anyway I’m an exeption because I left when I was 17 moving to North Italy, then I started living by myself.

12:32 AM May 09 2013 |

Ngubo Sixtus

South Africa

in my country you live with your parents until they or you are elderly, as long as you are taking care of them.

09:54 AM May 08 2013 |

a2020

a2020

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I thing nothing is wrong to live with our parents but by living independent we have more freedom.

10:45 AM Mar 03 2013 |

Anna.S.

Anna.S.

Italy

I live alone, but i don’t pay a rent because the home belongs to my family. I think the question is more subtle.


First in many countries, I talk with particularly reference to Italy (above all south Italy), a lot of families cannot  finance a son  to let him study in  an another city. And the employement  isn’t stimulate so it’s hard to pay a rent and in the same time to study.


As general rule, it’s more easy and helpful to live with your parents until you save money or you have finished to study at university. 


Sure enough there’s also a cultural factor to live with parents cause it’s more comfortable


04:28 AM Nov 10 2012 |

La Princesse de la vie

Egypt

It’s normal here for adults and above adults to saty home with their parents and it’s kina taboo to stay alone in a house while your parents’ house is still open.. it’s just a rejected matter even before you ask for it…


11:17 PM Aug 15 2012 |

Daniel Mv

Daniel Mv

Colombia

Usually, ther’re a lot of things you should to have on mind when you’re moving back with your family. People really change with the pass of the years, when you get back home, you’re not the same kid as you were when you left.


In your parents’ house you can’t have the same behaivor of when you were in your own house or living with your friends, you’ll have to act and think in a complete different way, because here you’re not in your own anymore, you’ll have to follow your family’s rules and that stuff to have a sake environment. 

01:37 PM Jul 15 2012 |

1 person likes this

Crizsearch

Crizsearch

Indonesia

When I get married I also want to have my own house and live independently but, on the other hand I really wanna take care my parents when they get old. I don’t know, in my country it’s common to stay with parents when they got married, it’s alright here and we never say it as a failure. :D 

07:37 AM Jun 13 2012 |

2 people like this

kotlesya

kotlesya

Belarus

Julito, it is not easy to live with another family you are right, but in time people get used to each other. My parents in law are calm and very polite people. They care about the healthy surrounding in the family. We care about the quite and peace among all of us as well.


Julito, if there is no solution to live separately the only way is to get on well together.

04:44 AM Feb 13 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

Kotleysa. In Spanish there is a saying:”el casado casa quiere” it means: , when you get married  you want your own house. Due to the fact that  is not for everybody to buy a house , most couples   start renting  and live  independent , probably, one income will go to pay the rent and utilities .I know of many cases  that  couples were so squizzed of money that as a last resort  had to moved in  with their parents  and believe me is not easy living together .You  are su fortunate  that  although this is not the ideal,you  manage to get along  with your in-laws  ,you  must be a very nice family !!!!!

04:36 AM Feb 13 2012 |

kotlesya

kotlesya

Belarus

Julito, hello :) Thanks to God, my parents in law are retired peple ( they are 81 and 71 years old). They ready to wait until the rest members of our big family will have used the bathroom.


You are right each morning is hectic, but I get up very early at 5:50AM ( my working day starts earlier than others) so I use bathroom at first and go at work. We all try to reduce the queue at the door to the bathroom Laughing

04:13 AM Feb 13 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

kotllesya ,hello.   I have attentively read your  comment about your family life and how well,  in spite of the lack of room   space you and    your in-laws live  armoniously.I think that  the mornings must be kind of hectic, as  members  of the family  must use the bathroom  and get ready to go to work  and the kids to school. 

04:01 AM Feb 13 2012 |

kotlesya

kotlesya

Belarus

Nothing  wrong about living with parents or with parents in law in the same house or in the same appartmenet.


The real estate in my country has the astronomic prices. The interest rate for the purchase the real estate is very high.


The minority of people in my country can afford themselves such luxury  as to buy  their own house or apartment. 


The majority of people ( married people too) live with their parents. The apartments often not big enough and it is getting crowed with two families within it, indeed, but people have no other opportunity. :( 


 l live with my parents in law more than 10 years. They are nice people. They always try to help me to look after my children, because they know I have nobody closer than they are in Belarus ( my parents are 1500 km away)


I also help them in return. :)


The opinion of children’s psychologists is positive about children which live with thier grandparents. It helps children to be kind, sensitive, attentive in the future. It helps them to be sociable.


The only one disadvantage I must mention about it is the lack of your own space, where you can relax and to be on your own for a while…. people are everywhere Laughing

11:26 PM Feb 12 2012 |

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