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The Maple Leaf Rag

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Mapleleaf Man

United States

March 15, 2012
Viewed 4200 times.

This is a log entry that I wrote for QQ and Renren, Chinese social networking sites that I have been on for a long time. Hopefully, it will make you think about differences between cultures. We are all the same but we're not all the same...you know? 

The other day, I was listening to an American girl talking about the Chinese girls at her university. She went on and on about how the Chinese girls hold hands and are always together, finally saying that they are all lesbian. I was not able to tell her that she was full of shit but she was. She was just another white, stupid, American who didn't take the time to get to know the people she was talking about. Her world is very small, much like her mind. 

I see it here in Toronto, too, but I know that the customs in China are very different from Canadian customs. Or are they? My daughter is very close to her friends too, specially her old roommate. Sarah and Kathleen used to take naps together. They'd start to talk then one would fall asleep and the other one would do the same. Are they gay? On the surface, someone who didn't know them and didn't know their relationship might think they are gay but, of course, they aren't. 

Before we say something about someone else, I think we have to know where they are coming from. We have a saying here in Canada, 'walk a mile in my shoes'. Before you can comment on what I do or how I act, 'walk a mile in my shoes', get to know who I am before you criticize me. Don't paint me with your brush. 

Americans are very short-sighted, just as anyone is who hates gays or lesbians or blacks or Chinese or anything that is different. Smarter people usually aren't as racist as stupid people. Racism is stupid just as being a homophobe is stupid. (A homophobe is a person who hates gay and lesbian people) 

The title of this log is to make you think about things you say before you say them. I know that girls have a different sense of space than boys do. Some hold hands, some hug and put their arms around each other, maybe some boys do the same. We can't look at you with our eyes and say something like 'they are all lesbian', can we? We have to know you before we can assume anything. Saying something like that revealed the girl's stupidity, that's all it did. She is the smaller person here, not the girl's who hold hands and are comfortable with being very close to their friends. 

You know what I love about QQ? I love seeing the graduation photos of the groups of people, boys and girls together, all having fun and doing crazy things. In the west, we sees boys or we see girls. We rarely see large groups of boys and girls doing things together. I think the Chinese way is refreshing and much nicer than our western coldness. Maybe sex is too important here, I'm don't know. Maybe guys should learn to be friends with a girl first and then move on to dating. 

Thanks for reading! 

More entries: A New Year, New Ways to Learn (2), English sucks...but don't give up. (5), Learning English is never easy, but it's worth the effort. (2), Easy English Stories, English vocabulary - another way to learn (1), A Shit of Paper (3), Break a leg - another English idiom. , Repost: Are all Chinese girls lesbians? (3), How language affects your life. (3), Chinese Writing (5)

View all entries from The Maple Leaf Rag >

04:34 PM Mar 21 2012

Mapleleaf Man
United States

Thanks for the comments. The title was to get people to read the log, much like 'false advertising'! I posted this on renren first, then QQ and finally here. I'm happy to know hundreds of Chinese students and sharing my knowledge here and other places. 

07:33 PM Mar 17 2012

Koala Q

Koala Q
China

oh.. the title surprised me at first sight. Smilethanks for pointing out the truth.  

06:22 PM Mar 15 2012

Sam Reeves

Sam Reeves
United States

Yes, it is a common assumption by many non-Chinese that Chinese girls must be lesbian because they are very close sometimes. It's a bit unfortunate, and kind of shows how we as westerners focus way too much on sex.

As you point out later, guys and girls in China are often having fun together and in fact often between male and females develop strong friendships that in a western country we wouldn't believe are just friendships... we'd think 'that guy definitely wants her!', but in fact in China, not always... sometimes yes of course... but they don't have the divide as we do. Much less I would say.