Some jokes

The humour english is special. There are a sample of them. I choice three english jokes. It´s not very longers. Anybody to know much?

Dogs and CatsWhat is the difference between a cat and a dog, Dogs think: Humans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so they must be Gods; Cats instead think: Humans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so I must be God.

River A man was walking along a river bank (the land at the side of a river is called a bank) when he saw a man walking along the opposite bank. He called across, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?" The other man looked confused and shouted back, "You're on the other side of the river already." 

God and the man A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all." So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,so, for you, how long is a thousand years?" God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes." The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?" God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents." The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?" God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"