My Blog

It’s so pathetic

To try to hold back tears

When you look like

An unhappy child thinking

He’s too old to cry

An unhappy adult

Is surely not that tragic

But sometimes even sadder

And you try to hold back tears

Because you are too old

to cry

And it’s so pathetic

Because they run down your cheeks

And you know it’s stupid

To hold back tears

When no one’s there to see

That you’re crying

One goddamn junkie on the rampage

Another idol of the back page

You kill yourself to stay alive

To live another daily lie

Inhale- exhale, that’s the way it works

Try another vein, makes it even worse

Hard to be a failure and to play a god

Write your holy scriptures on the shithouse walls

Fuck your own demons when no one else’s around

Mental masturbation, virtual suicide

Getting sentimental- have another line

Such a silly game making you divine

Self-revulsion, blow, feelings bruised and blue

Never mind the others: all that matter’s you

Stories of madness, stories of glee

And if you’re lieing, than make them believe

So very self-indulgent liar

You’re far too beautiful to love

A mostly ambiguous smile

And carefully plotted laugh

So very egoistic sinner

You play your vanity with pride

You got so used to being the winner

The mostly desired fuck

An oversaturated loser

Exasperated little bitch

Extremely hard, extremely lonesome

Well-trained in extremeties

I watch your face through dusk and smoke

The havy make-up, the decay

Disguised holes in your soul

And mostly I see myself