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Without tenses

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handwriter

handwriter

Norway

March 5, 2014

To One And All,

For the most part, I have enjoyed my experiences and the meeting of new acquaintances here in Ebaby—as well, I have greatly enjoyed the medium that Ebaby has provided for practicing my writing skills in English—thank you.

Now as with anything public, I know that often times there comes those moments that can be frustrating, challenging, and disappointing—such a time came to me by way of a message.  I received a message (here in Ebaby) from a supposedly young female—stated age 15.

Look, not wanting to get into any details, let me say this to all:

My purpose here in Ebaby is quite simple: I just want to let everyone know that here in Ebaby English, I have been picking new friends at random—and with only very few acceptations, I have been accepting friend requests from others.

I have no motives other than to meet and to get to know people of various cultures, ages, gender, ideologies, etc.  I am much too old, really, to expect making any lasting relationships—and most definitely, none of which would be of love and all that other “mess”.

 I enjoy reading and writing.  About writing, I enjoy writing more about life—as I see it.  Of Reading, again, I enjoy reading about life and the many experiences of others.

And again, I don’t want your love—I am not your boyfriend, father, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or religious leader.

Please keep your private lives—especially about sexual wants and/or fantasies to yourselves.

If you want to tell me anything that could be considered immoral or illegal, it would be best to keep all that to yourselves as well.  If you should mention anything to me that could be dangerous to others or yourselves—I will immediately report it to the appropriate management.  

Yes, we can be “friends”—however, all should be kept within the grasps of reality.  I don’t expect to see many if any of you face-to-face. Make me no promises of one day meeting—chances are, it won’t ever happen.  Just spend whatever time we can being “Ebaby Friends”, and help me—if we can—make life here on earth a little more friendlier.

Thank you for accepting my “friend request”.

With respect and honor,

doni

More entries: Half-Wit (3), Come Home Son, Life Is A Risk, Words Are Not Action, JOY, Here's a shot of me doing my one--and only one--yearly exercise (1), Indeed A Higher Law of Justice, Gotcha! (1), A Belated "I'm Sorry", The Fruits of Our Labor?

View all entries from Without tenses >

02:58 PM Mar 10 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

Hazelgirl,

I’m usually a “silent” reader of my posts as well—I try not to listen to them once I have posted them—the reason being that I too would be confused if I were to try and go back to them with the intent of trying to figure out what had possibly been going through my mind when I first thought of them.   So welcome to the confused—confused as to my meanings.

Could it not be that some people are “alone” because that is the way others see them?  I truly believe that God is God because people believe Him to be God.  A father is a father, not by his genes, but that he has children who believe him to be their father.

You may think that a mother is a mother because she believes that it is so—but this is subjective thinking, and subjective thinking is rarely, if ever, considered reality—it’s an abstraction of what is real.

And yes, for me, I think of everyone as being “precious”---pearls of great thought.

10:06 AM Mar 10 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Thank you Doni, it is kind of you, it is my pleasure as well to read your handwritings :)

Most of time, im the silent reader of your posts; To be honest, i cant get your points sometimes, maybe bcoz of different thoughts we have, or different ages or etc, i dont know why, but i put commentary when i think, "yeah!! i understand what Doni mean ;)"!! and sometimes comes in reverse, dont worry!! then, i understand you completely but i dont put any comments!! ;)

Well, about "Friendship", yes, you may be right, i like your view and your comprehensive explanation, however it seems so idealistic for me.

And about your philosophical statement, i still believe the exaggeration within it, dont want to reject your idea but your statement is not general for all. i see a few ppl in my life, who are alone but try to be good friends for others, who need care, but try to help others instead, they know others more eligible for attention and affection more than themselves, so your sentence is not accurate about them, bcoz they are, they exist but no one can see them, no one can feel them...no one can realize the compassion of those nice ppl until they leave...so for being precious, you have to quit sometimes, its the best solution to be seen.

Then we can say, "some friends think when we are not there" or " we are but some friends dont think", you got my point, i prefer to say, "we are for those who care" or "we are bcoz our friends care", "attention" and "caring" is much more important than "thinking" or "theorizing" in my opinion, before being a good thinker, we need love and attention, we need a real friend for all tough situations.

06:27 AM Mar 10 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

To Hazelgirl,

As always, it is a pleasure to read your thoughts—thank you.

First, as with “friendship”, I see this word or the meaning that it gives to me as a “stand alone” word.  I mean, it is a word or an entity that can stand alone without any added modifications—such as adjectives. The idea of friendship is positive—there is no such emotion or compound element such as a “bad” friendship”—the two words are entirely polar to each other—one being sour and the other sweet.  Using the adjective “bad” with the noun “friendship” would be like trying to mix oil with water.  The idea of “friendship” within itself suggests a healthy state—it doesn’t need to be modified with an adjective such as “healthy”—it already suggests healthy condition, no?

As for being “Philosophical,”—or with “exaggerated thinking—may I suggest that such thought has given us wonderful insights such as religion, politics, freedom, phycology, mathematics, science—just to name a few.  The ability to think outside the normal boxed-up way of thinking and to think beyond the limits of established thinking has given men and women a freedom of thinking that does not exist in all other life forms.

Again, I love your commentaries—they keep me honest and continually thinking-thinking beyond the boxed-confines of my own brain.

06:25 AM Mar 10 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

To Hazelgirl,

As always, it is a pleasure to read your thoughts—thank you.

First, as with “friendship”, I see this word or the meaning that it gives to me as a “stand alone” word.  I mean, it is a word or an entity that can stand alone without any added modifications—such as adjectives. The idea of friendship is positive—there is no such emotion or compound element such as a “bad” friendship”—the two words are entirely polar to each other—one being sour and the other sweet.  Using the adjective “bad” with the noun “friendship” would be like trying to mix oil with water.  The idea of “friendship” within itself suggests a healthy state—it doesn’t need to be modified with an adjective such as “healthy”—it already suggests healthy condition, no?

As for being “Philosophical,” may I suggest that such thought has given us wonderful insights such as religion, politics, freedom, phycology, mathematics, science—just to name a few.  The ability to think outside the normal boxed-up way of thinking and to think beyond the limits of established thinking has given men and women a freedom of thinking that does not exist in all other life forms.

Again, I love your commentaries—they keep me honest and continually thinking-thinking beyond the boxed-confines of my own brain.

11:05 PM Mar 07 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

you are welcome Doni :)

Im in agreement with you but i would like to add a word before "friendship" in your sentence, and it would be "healthy" ;)

"I believe that one basic element of being human—a healthy human—is friendship." may be better said were "healthy friendship". agree?

06:15 AM Mar 06 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

Thanks, Hazelgirl—thank you for your kind and encouraging words.

About friendship and being human: I believe that one basic element of being human—a healthy human—is friendship.  Yes, I know that there are those who prefer living the life of…well, a hermit.  But to me, this is unnatural and such a waste of life.  I could think of nothing more unnatural or worthless as to be a person living alone—alone by choice or preference.  I know that there are many people who live in a state of dire loneliness—and not by any choice of their own.  To me this is one dark tragedy of humans.  No person should ever be alone—there are too many of us here for that to ever need to happen.  As for feeling alone when there are so many around—this too is a dark tragedy, but this tragedy is a deep and murky woe—one that lies deep in the belly of a mental well.

Yes, friendship is a blessing—it should be cherished and guarded; we should all do everything we can—at every moment of our waking lives—trying to hold on to existing friendships, and always actively creating new ones as we mend old ones that may have been neglected and left to decay and rot.  We are not because we think.  No, we are because our friends think.

09:44 PM Mar 05 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Ola33, i like your words about freindship and human. Tnx for positive senses.

07:56 PM Mar 05 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

Well said—I agree with everything you said.  When I speak of those of “us” who have mental “frustrations”, I do not mean those among us who are special angels—those who speak, think, and dream of the minds of angels. I mean to say and to include those of us who go to “shrinks” only because it’s fashionable or the “in-thing” to do.  And yes, you are absolutely right in that none of us are without hang-ups or flaws of character—we’ve all got “mental “frustrations”.  But again, and as you so compassionately stated it—true friends are those who know everything about us—the good and the bad—all of our faults and bad habits—but who still care about us.  

05:40 PM Mar 05 2014

ola33

ola33
Japan

 

About therapist and mental problems. We're all human. And if you accept friendship and agree to correspond with the buddy to practice English, accept his as he/she is.

And I want to add that I have a friend who is gifted. And I'm telling you he is the best friend I've ever had in my life!. No jealousy, no revenge, no angry feelings.  He's all sunshine in my heart! He's got a fantastic sense of humor. I laugh with him all the time and it makes me feel happy! But sometimes he tells about his problems and it's not a problem to me to listen. That's what the friends are for -  to help, to support and not pick on you when you're in trouble or tell you something that you don't want to hear. Otherwise, the correspondence and friendship doesn't have any sense at all.  

11:14 AM Mar 05 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

“Semantics”—I would think.  I mean, for some, when you use the word “love”, can mean an array of things, no?  I would say that I respect and care for all, but to say that I love anyone…well, I hold that special emotion for my dearest “love”.  Again, I respect and hold dear all of my friends and family, but my “love”—well she will always be the one I truly “love”.

08:50 AM Mar 05 2014

handwriter

handwriter
Norway

Of those people or things that I am not, it would be fair to add that I am not your therapist or doctor—for me, I can’t be trusted with “private” mental issues—I am much too prone to spreading gossip about such things as mental frustrations.  As well, I tend to inappropriately laugh—well snicker—and clown around when I’m put in uncomfortable or embarrassing situations—look, I am only trying to be honest here.

Now, don’t get me wrong—if I am told something in confidence, and I have accepted that confidence—your message would go with me to my grave—no matter what.