voice from Jen

Well, I am a post graduate from Whuhan University and apparently I am going to finish my education of this stage. My ideal profession is to be a professor. So I took part in the Ph.D enrollment examination for further education about one or two weeks ago.

I have to wait for another fortnight to get the test score which really makes me insane. Every day is full of anxiety and self-doubt.

Reasons are complicated but result will be simple.

Pray for good luck!

I got a crush on someone who liked me a lot first but then turned to another girl. The girl went for the boy out of her vanity since most of the girls in our class liked the boy a lot.

Days became tough when the girl told me  on purpose every little, tiny thing that happened between the boy and her. It had so much influence on my study that I fell behind qucikly.

what a memory!

I can't tell what it is, but there truely something that makes me fed up with my mom.

Maybe becuse of her special age, 48 years old, the climacteric, she keeps talking about one thing again and again,  suspects my father's private life, and run into anger just becuse of one sentence that means nothing. Most terribly, if someone makes her unhappy, she will act like crazy and do things that scare us.

I am so mad at her temper, that I do want to leave the family for college. However, the summer holiday is the only chance for me to stay with my family, and I cannot just leave all of this behind for my own sake.

I went to my friend's and came back home. Soon I found out that I treat my mom badly. I seldom listen to her when she tries to tell me something, which by 90% turns out to be her suspect about Dad or other family numbers. I always say no to her offer of fruit or something even I do want to have it. I hope she will sleep all day long to reduce the afflicts. I can't help it.

 I am so troubled by it. What's the matter with me? I mean, how could I treat my own mom in that way? Am I a terrible girl?