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Puppy Love

isynie_sansan

Indonesia

January 29, 2013

A Poem (05)

By Isynie Sansan

 

 

I was still waiting for you,

without noticing, you would never come,

I tried to stay calm in patience,

Fertilizing hopes,

While keep praying inside incandescent chest.

 

Yet,

You were still the same as before,

Cause me stay in continuous anxiety,

Hurt the heart that I only bestow on behalf of you.

 

Lastly,

You arrived in a sudden anyway,

With innocent face, regardless your sins,

Did you already forget or you regard no consciousness on yourself?

You repeatedly tear my heart in mortified,

Brought me into depressed, smiled within sadness,

Drawn me in choking sobs weeping.

 

I wanted to return to what we were once again,

When a simple smile of us was so worthy and never fades,

When you held my hands, that gave me feeling of firm-close shine, stiffening my shoulders,

When the story and life were flowing as they should be,

Without care about time and wealth.

 

Yea, dude. ..

My heart might be too full of hatred and spites,

Or this heart is exceedingly weak and brittle,

Easily scrapped by ego and ungodly passions.

 

Forgive me my buddy,

I need to breathe awhile in my solitary,

Truthfully, I require it to settle this my heart,

To keep my broken wings that flying wobbly,

So that I can greet you like ever,

In a friendship that is full of joy and enthusiasm laughing,

Just like our formerly friendship.

 

Hashim Ash’ari chamber

10.21, 28 January in the sun of desert.  

 

January 29, 2013

A Poem (04)

By Isynie Sansan

 

Delighted night embraced me,

Because of your honest love toward me,

Fresh morning accompanied my days,

Because of your out of border affections for me,

Intensity of noon lighted my efforts,

Because of your out of worth pay attention to measure patience of mine.

 

Allah.. .

You make me cry for yearning you,

You make me smile for all your given fortunes,  

You make me regret for everything has passed,

You, also the one who makes me dream and enthusiastic,

To face the period attacking forward.

 

Allah.. .

Desire to make my heart in every single second of its beat only to remember you,

Desire to bring this mind only to think of you,

Desire to wet my lips to always mention your names,

Desire to purpose all my good deeds just because of and for you.

 

Allah.. .

Forgive me for each nature that often disappoint you,

Forgive me for actions that always betray trusteeship,

Forgive me for myself that often forget you,

Forgive this your servant that was too fascinated by your bliss.

 

Allah.. .

Bring me together with you to the sky of magnificence,

Feed me with ocean of patience,

Embrace me in sincerity blanket,

Kiss me with your warm love and wise honesty.

 

Allah.. .

Just you,

And only you,

The one I aim and love,

Always .. .

 

Hashim ‘Ash’ari chamber

Morning Wednesday, in warm January, 29. 8.04 a.m.

January 28, 2013

A Poem (03)

By Isynie Sansan

 

The sensation of heavyhearted engulfed me,

It was so tight for heart to pump the blood up,

It’s even harder and harder to breathe freely,

Realizing those beautiful remembrances come to fade in slow.

 

I kept trying to seek, run wildly while lunging,

Open those which was closed,

Frame every single fragment of memories,

Connect all old stories of mine and yours,

About a friendship that wasn’t apart from happiness and sorrow.

 

Bounded puzzle of life that hide within pitch-dark wall of my heart,

With colorful smile scratches and laughing of joy,

With unforgettable passionate tears and overflow yearning,

So noisy but comforting,

So consoling all miserable apprehensive spreading.

 

It’s right,

I wasn’t, and I’m not alone.

I stand up with my God,

I walk beside my beloved prophet,

I come up with lofta persons loving me.

 

But those horrifying shadows were undeniable,

They come but to leave me behind,

They meet but to forget me at last,

They play with but to disappear from my mind,

They love but to ignore me so fast,

To make me realize,

I was not supposed to be their friend like past.

 

With honest excuse,

I acknowledge,

I’m a weak unlike those who were strong and dependable,

I’m a foolish and weird one, unlike those who were smart and believable,

I’m not even adroit or good-looking, unlike those who were elegant and loveable,

I am the one with simple and modest profile, unlike those who were dashing and amusing,

Here I am who often did some mistakes in saying and behaving,

I myself am aware of unable to be your perfect buddy ever yet.

 

But please dude,

Don’t grow distant from my life,

Don’t vanish out of my sight,

Don’t let me crying buried lonely in a grief alley,

Or smile, satisfying myself in proud without worrying and caring you.

 

Cause I knew,

I realized,

I goddamned realized badly and wanna cry in my calm,

While whispering in cold confession,.

 

you all are truly valuable for me, guys”

 

Heart words in alabaster of emotion.

Hashim 'Ash'ari Chamber,

Monday, January 28, 2013, 4.30 p.m.