Namika's Journal

Yesterday, or I must say, today I went to bed so late and I woke up so late... 3:00 p.m!!! I've never slept so much in my entire lifee!!!

Today, I thought I would be alone, but my father stayed at home, he felt sick again... and the hurricane was a deception (it was only a light rainy day) so a friend came to my house and we went to Monterrey's downtown, he had so many things to buy and  he didn't want to do it alone so I had to go (I didn't want to go but this guy knows how to make me feel bad if I don't wanna make him any favor...) we arrived pretty late so most of the stores were about to close, he was so mad at me, because I was the one who took so much time at finishing my chores (but it was his fault!!!!  he decided in the moment!!! I wasn't prepared to go!!!) Anyways, he couldn't buy all the things he wanted but we stayed to stray around... and suddenly I found it... it was in the shop window, shiny, new, calling me... I've always wanted a necklace like that, it had a padlock and its key, it was expensive but my friend had extra money and he lent it to me so I could buy it!!! Now I'm regreting the fact that I owe him money, but I'm going to receive my pay check next week, so it's not a big deal.

Waaaaaa!!! I'm so happy!!! But now I'm stressed, I was reading my book and suddenly I got scared, and every time I get scared all my senses seem to work perfectly, even better... I can hear every single noise in the room and it frightens me! That's the reason why I can't sleep...

Anyways, I better give it another try, maybe this time I will accomplish it.

I'll leave you the lyrics of "You're not here" by Akira Yamaoka and sang by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn (Silent Hill), it's a great song!!! You should listen to it if you haven't.

You're noy here: 

Blue sky to forever
The green grass blows in the wind, dancing
It would be a much better sight with you, with me
If you hadn't met me, I'd be fine on my own, baby
Never felt so lonely, then you came along

So now what should I do,
I'm strung out, addicted to you
My body aches, now that you're gone
My supply fell trough

Gladly gave me everything you had and more
You craved my happiness
When you made me feel joy it made you smile
But now I feel your stress
Love was never meant to be such a crazy afair, no
And who has time for tears
Never thought I'd sit around and cry for your love
'Till now

Well, I'll leave now... Bye-Bye!!!

Why is it so difficult being in love with someone...?

I have so many questions and no one to answer them, but that's to much existentialist and I don't wanna get into details...

This week was so difficult, my father's been sick and we don't know why, he takes his medicine but he won't get better...

 My head is full of unnecessary troubles and thoughts, is so complicated to be a human being and also being a woman (in my case, of course, there're women that don't care about the things I care...) Truth is I'm tired of love and tired of looking for it, but even when I feel so discouraged, I'm still excited with the idea of finding it, I guess I can't change my nature at all, unfortunately I inherited this from my mother :S But I'm hoping everything will get better with time.

There are people who say time erases all wounds, but you have to change too, because time won't do anything if you still the same, changing is the key... or I don't knoww!!!, I just wanted to write what I feel

At least there're also good news, I bought the two first books of the "twilight series" by Stephenie Meyer named Twilight

and new moon:

Well, it's really late... I'm sleepy but I'm still trying to discover everything about this site, heehehhe

I'll write later!