My MESSY Blog by MESS | English, baby! Blogs

A Letter to Life

MESS — Tue, 17 Sep 2013 06:00:43 GMT

A Letter to Life

Dear Life,

It is obvious that you and I have not been in good terms in a long time. You did not let me do the things that I wanted to do no matter how hard I tried. You just screwed my plans, dreams and hopes but you know what? I am strong, and I will not stop trying. So you want to challenge me? Okay, go ahead. I am here!

With Love,

MESS ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

Flirting with life!

MESS — Thu, 23 May 2013 01:46:53 GMT

Flirting with life!

"Traveling is like flirting with life. It is like saying, "I would stay and I love you, but I have to go; this is my station."

So here are some of the photos I took during my trip to Samsun in the north of Turkey, Istanbul, the gorgeous city, Bursa, the green city with spectatular historical places and Canakkale where Dardanelles War - The Battle of Gallipoli or Battle of Canakkale took place on the Gallipoli Peninsula between 1915-1916.

Enjoy!

(Samsun - Istanbul - Bursa - Canakkale)

The last photo is the cutest one. :)

MESSY

Self-promises

MESS — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:32:12 GMT

Self-promises

Love yourself enough to give yourself a beautiful gift : A LIFE YOU LOVE!

Promise yourself you will be good to you - and true to who you are at your core.

Do actions, think thoughts which match with this goal.

Recognize that whenever you break a self-promise, big or small, you create stress and sadness.

Show yourself some love by keeping your self-promises!

Do what you can each day to create a life that you truly love!

Even if all you do is a little something, that is still better than not trying.

Never give up! There is still time!

Know that you can and you will!

What if...?

MESS — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 03:13:08 GMT

What if...?

I cannot remember exactly how many times “what if...” stopped me from realizing myself. In the process of making a big desicion, “what if...” appeared suddenly and stalked me. Here are a few sentences that start with very promising desicions but end in negative thoughts, being a captive of WHAT IF...

I will take the TOEFL exam but what if...?

I will open up my business but what if...?

I will marry but what if...?

I will end my relationship but what if...?

I would like to have a baby but what if...?

After “what if” followed a set of negative sentences, not negative in terms of sentence structure but in terms of meaning. Negative sentences zap the energy of your intentions or plans. What if’s do not serve for any other purpose but consume your positive energy up. When your positive energy is consumed, you accept failure. When the fear of failure takes the control of your thoughts, you never attain your goals. What happens when you do not attain your goals? You know the answer.

In addition to this, what if’s discourage you to dwell in the “NOW” and they do not let you make the most of NOW. They rush you to worry about the future which has not come yet, or which is not yet to come at all – since we do not know whether we will make it to the next moment or not. Enjoy NOW. Seize NOW. Capture the joy of NOW. Embrace the beauty of NOW. It is all about NOW.

STAY IN NOW & ENJOY IT NOW.

MESSY ★•★

Goodbye, Iron Lady!

MESS — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 07:45:23 GMT

Goodbye, Iron Lady!

"Watch your thoughts for they become words.

Watch your words for they become actions.

Watch your actions for they become habits.

Watch your habits for they become character.

And watch your character for they become your destiny.

What we think, we become."

The iron lady, Margaret Thatcher, left this world but she left a lot of admirable things behind. She faced ups and downs of her life, including her political life, with a great deal of courage. What I truly admire about her is that she is a self-made woman! The road that she walked along was not a flat one but she climbed up the ladder of success with her unyielding courage and for that I bow down before her with admiration and respect! :)

May she rest in peace!

MESSY

MESSY REFLECTIONS! :)))

MESS — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 04:10:01 GMT

MESSY REFLECTIONS! :)))

Hey you. Yes you.

Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you liked someone else, or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things you wouldn't be you. And, why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself, then you stick your middle finger in the air, and say screw it! Your happiness will not be depended on anyone anymore. Life is too short to be perfect. Love your imperfections, they make you, you. And your flaws are what make you beautiful. So, be you. Because you are pretty amazing.

Quoted from some website.

MESSY ♬ ♪ ♩ ♫ ♪

Just some thoughts...

MESS — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 04:13:56 GMT

Just some thoughts...

What is the point of posting half-naked and sort of bawdy photos on the internet, especially on EB?

I see many women post such photos on EB, but what is the point? To get compliments or dirty comments? I personally would not need to feel honored by receiving a couple of silly and dirty comments like “You are sexy. You have sexy lips. I want you. I want to kiss you...” bla bla. I know myself and I know I am a pretty woman. That’s to say, I feel proud of my beauty already, so why do I need those empty words from some unknown people most of whom have a dirty agenda on their mind? I am not even questioning whether it is moral or not. It does not concern me, but it seems very impulsive to me to be enmeshed in such a poor and sort of humiliating situation.

I do not know what you think, but to me, a pretty woman both on the inside and outside is never in need of hearing those empty words, because she is sure of herself, her manners, and her outer and inner beauty. She is self-confident, and self-assured. She does not take any notice of vain words which do not serve for any real purpose AND she should not!

MESSY

Are you A REASON, A SEASON or A LIFETIME?

MESS — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 07:18:47 GMT

Are you A REASON, A SEASON or A LIFETIME?

First time I registered on Ebaby 6 years ago, I felt quite confused with everything - how to use the site and how to make foreign friends. I found myself on the way to the chat room, and hung there for a while watching people chat. I still did not quite get it but logging in and out for a few days and noticing the good manners of some chatters in the chat room, I felt hopeful and started to chat. My chat with only one person opened the door to a big gang of friends, who were the top chatters on Ebaby at that time. Once I was included in the chat, I suddenly was considered a top chatter without whom the room would suck, my friends said to me. :)

Maybe first time in my life, I got a chance to feel the true bliss of friendship with foreign people coming from totally different cultural, religious and educational backgrounds. I learned to accept people for what they were, regardless of their race, skin color, culture, ethnicity, etc. There were especially three people who meant a lot to me at that time. They were like lifetime friends to me. We always kept each other posted for what we were doing, how we were doing it, how it felt or what we would do next, just like typing a detailed report of the day. :) We had long chat sessions on MSN for hours, and we talked about many things - life, jobs, cultures, languages, friends, experiences, future plans, pains, sorrows, happy moments, family, boys, movies, illnesses, and everything. It felt like our friendship would never end. We even made promises about meeting each other some day in the future. All this took 3 whole years, but it takes only like 10 minutes to write about it here. :) At the end of 3 years, we felt like sisters, and even closer than that. We called each other on a regular basis, and texted messages as our lives got busier. But we still kept in touch no matter what. Then suddenly, one day, I noticed that our talks got less and less. We started to log into the chat room less frequently as we were preoccupied with many things - me being absorbed in my studies, as usual. Then I heard with our decreased visits to the chat room, the rest of our friends also appeared there not very often. Time passed and then again, I appeared in the chat room feeling embarrassed for my sudden disappearance but I found almost no familiar face there. I was disappointed, for sure. Disappointed that all those beautiful moments were only sweet memories that I would cherish forever.

But still, even though very seldom, I and my close friends email each other to talk about the updates in our lives, but it happens only 2-3 times a year. And I kept everything inside by now. I missed them very badly but I said, "Be patient. Everything will be alright soon, and you will meet your friends more often." But alas, nothing has changed. It has been almost 3 years since I last talked to them alive.

And today, I feel that everything fit together 3 years later. Sometimes life keeps you so busy that you come to underestimate all the beauties, and joys that life presents to you. You cannot hold on to them, because you are kind of blinded by your hectic life. You stand over like "OK, I will call her tomorrow." "I will text him soon." But then, all of a sudden you realize the right time never comes. You just fool yourself. OR you come to question the true meaning of friendship. Just like me, you can even remember a quote that you heard long time ago but forgot it :

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON, A SEASON OR A LIFETIME. WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE IT IS YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR EACH PERSON.

I learned that friends come and go, and your life goes on. I have made new friends since then - some have come and gone, and some have remained.

But one thing has never changed : I have always remained. :)

A Very Good Read. Enjoy! :)

MESS — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 08:19:20 GMT

A Very Good Read. Enjoy! :)

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

Once In Your Life...

MESS — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 07:17:56 GMT

Once In Your Life...

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

- Bob Marley -

Bob Marley and I share the very same thoughts. Surprisingly his way of writing is identical to mine, concise, simple and impressive. :)

Politeness, what a blissful move!

MESS — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 12:17:50 GMT

Politeness, what a blissful move!

Earlier in the morning I was almost late for the class at 8 o'clock. I hate to make my students wait but feeling the tiredness of all week all over my body, the alarm of my clock was unable to wake me up. It was almost 7 o'clock when I opened my eyes. I don't remember how I got out of the bed, washed my face and put on my clothes that I had picked a night ago before going to bed. (I always pick my clothes a night before. I never pick things randomly.) Okay, I looked glamorous in the mirror. "Oh, wait. I forgot make-up." I applied eye liner on my eyes slightly, and then mascara and what else? Nothing more. The less the better.

“It is going to be a hard but beautiful day. Go to the school now and don’t let any of your naughty students ruin your enthusiasm.” Inspiring myself to the fullest, I headed towards the door. “Wait, did I hear my tummy’s scream? Oh, yes, I forgot the breakfast but I have no time.” I changed my route to the kitchen to get a rusk which protects me from feeling nauseated when I don’t have enough time to have a good breakfast. “Alright, now, time to go.”

A few minutes later, I found myself in the street waiting for a cab. “Good, here it comes. What a lucky day. It is rush hours in the morning but today is my lucky day. No need to wait for an empty cab.” The school is only 5-minutes drive to my house but I noticed that lots of things could happen in just 5 minutes like buzzing along the busy streets filled with men in suits, women in formal clothes, students in uniforms and other people rushing for work… Amidst this rush, one scene caught my attention in my cab ride. Lots of people were walking quickly on the pavement. Apparently they were rushing to appear at work right on time. Everyone was just following their steps on the line of the pavement which was saved for themselves. One man, though, got out of the building above the pavement suddenly and he almost bumped into another man. Both men moved aside to give way, but they moved to the left at the same time. Then to the right. One of the men pouted about the situation and I could read the look on his face : “I am late for work and you are standing on my way. Just go away.” The other man, on the other hand, made a very polite move. He stopped, bowed a little bit, with a warm smile on his face, moved his hand very kindly to give way to the sulky man. A few words dropped from his lips. As far as I could read his lips, his kind gesture was, “After you, sir.” I looked right at the face of the sulky man thinking he might have changed his gesture to a warm one, but his face still looked sulky and discontended whereas the kind man still kept smiling. Then I noticed something. The kind man was in ordinary clothes, not like those collar-and-tie men. The sulky man was in a neat suit. “Maybe he is rushing just like me or he is possibly late for work or a meeting.”Yeah, maybe, but it is not that hard to put a warm smile on your face in the morning and show some kindness in return for a polite action that you received.”

Looking at the sulky man in suit, I would expect him to show politeness in return for that warm smile on the face of the stranger that he bumped into randomly on the street. Then I thought, politeness does not come from the outer appearance. It has nothing to do with one’s expensive and trendy clothes, nor with whether one is in suit or in a t-shirt and jeans. Politeness comes from deep within. It comes with the way one is raised up and how beautifully one looks out of the window of his heart and sees the world as it is.

Happy encountering with polite people wherever you go!

MESSY

Just MESSY thoughts on relationships....

MESS — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 04:36:18 GMT

Just MESSY thoughts on relationships....

Wherever you go, whatever background you come from, whatever skin color you have, whatever religion you believe in, whatever job you lead or whether you are beautiful or ugly, there is a common thought, "Love is sweet and it lasts forever."

If love lasts forever, then why do people break up?

One of my childhood friends who had been in love for 4.5 years told me a week ago that she broke up with her boyfriend. And today, one of my close friends from college gave me a call to ask how I was doing. Quite by chance, in the middle of the conversation I found out that she also broke up with her boyfriend with whom she was dating for 3 years. These two friends of mine were the people who I thought had found their soulmates and they would marry happily ever after in the end. And my uncle also divorced from his wife with whom he dated for 5 whole years. As soon as they married, they found out that they were not really made for each other. Soon they divorced. I know some other people who experienced the very same seperations which happened at the end of a long relationship.

I am thinking now, there has always been one thing that scared the hell out of me : To start a relationship and break up after several years of complete commitment and dedication. "I am scared of breaking up." This is the thing that I finally confessed. So this is the answer that I must give to those people who keep staring at me like, "You are smart, pretty, beautiful, and attractive. What's wrong with you? Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

People keep breaking up, and divorce rates have been increasing crazily, relationships end surprisingly and unexpectedly, so why shouldn't I be very picky, maybe, keep my distance from those guys who might attract me dangerously and make an excuse to myself, like "I am sorry but I am ugly, so I should just avoid emotional involvements.

MESSY

Go for it! :)

MESS — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 03:41:43 GMT

Go for it! :)

Do you ever feel useless, a little bit bereft of self-confidence and proper goal?

I have been feeling that way for the past few weeks. I have been ruminating deeply again and again about what line of job I should be leading and what will possibly make me most satisfied and content.

Sometimes thinking deeply makes me discouraged, even though my self-confidence is often at quite a high level. When you rack your brains on something too much, your brain tends to think very broadly and some baseless and disheartening ideas just pop up. "Oh, hey, what if I cannot succeed in the end?" "Yeah, possibly, you will fail." "God, what happens if I fail? Hell, no, I have to accomplish my goals." "Give up, your rivals are too strong." This last sentece put me on fire. It was like I had a nice slap on my face which jolted me out this big twilight zone.

Besides, people keep telling me, "So when are you starting to work?" Being exposed to the very same question for a few months after graduation, I feel truly geared up to set my mind on a definite goal and go for it. I feel pretty self-assertive again and keep aiming for higher. Maybe it is not going to be an easy ride, but as far as I know the destination, I will keep going.

MESS *-*

Value, less or more?

MESS — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 00:08:48 GMT

Value, less or more?

Unquestionably, it is nice to hold people dear to your heart and value their friendship, because it shows you are caring, warm-hearted and respectful, and being respectful is what we were taught by our parents.

But what about putting people on a pedestal and not receiving as much value as you give to them? That really hurts.

To me, calling a friend to have a quick talk, writing a brief e-mail, inviting friends to a coffee shop or cafe (for half an hour or so), or texting them show you care and value their friendship. These are very small things which take only a few minutes with no physical effort and exhaustion. However, doing all this "right on time" with no delay (if not because of very imporant reasons) requires a subtle wit, which I appreciate extremely a lot. If things are not done right on time, and if words are broken, and if I feel I am being undervalued, I change my route to another destination but this time behaving more sensibly. I am at peace with myself, my rules and my characteristic features. I carry out my responsibilities for people very carefully because it is so easy to worry people, but not honorable! I also know that life is all about giving and taking. You take as much as you give. However, the funny thing is although I am aware of all this (that sometimes I do not get what I give), I still set people on a pedestal more than they deserve. This is a part of my caring side, even if it ends up being disappointed eventually. I place value on people because each person is a wonderful creation of GOD. It is hard to admit it but experiencing this many times before, I am avoiding close relationships with people any more to get less hurt. But now mattter how hard you try to avoid something out of your way, it keeps coming your way.

MESS

How do I feel about teaching?

MESS — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 09:09:07 GMT

How do I feel about teaching?

If they asked me this question a month ago, I would say, “It is very boring and I am not cut for that job, so it does not appeal to me.”

I made a U-turn, though and my ideas have changed quite a lot.

I had never imagined teaching could be fun. When I was first offered this job (it is a temporary job, because I have other loafty career plans) two weeks ago after graduation, I had some hesitations because teaching children made me scared. "Oh, children? How will I manage it?" It has been a week since I started and I have realized I was being biased. Children are not as naughty as they are considered to be. If they love you, they do whatever you tell them to do. My students, aged 12-14 are great and incredibly smart. They do not make me repeat things more than once. Sometimes I am truly amazed that they catch everything very quickly. In addition to their smartness, their behaviors fill my heart with joy. They welcome me outside of the classroom. Some of them are even competing to hold my books. The girls are scrutinizing me from top to toe every time. When I wear a necklace or a watch, they are staring at me very admiringly. That’s why I am trying to wear simple jewellery which might not catch their attention more than me. When I use a new word or sentence structure in my mother tongue, I hear them using it in their conversations when they are playing. As soon as I finish writing on the board, they are competing to clean the board. "Please, can I clean the board?" Once one of my students got offended when I did not let her clean the board. Next time I let her do that and I could see the happiness on her face. Now I let those who are willing to clean the board do it in turns. None of them gets resentful any more. Just two days ago, the mother of my favorite student came to see me. I was quite surprised when her mother told me that she (my student) was talking about me at home so much that she could not help wondering who I was and how I looked, so she made it to my class after the lesson. Her mother says, "Every word she speaks is about you. I am wondering how you can make yourself be loved so strongly by these students." It is the trick of the trade! :)

All in all, it is just a great feeling to be surrounded with very clever students who look at you admiringly and learn from you a lot, not only English but also good manners which will be enlightening their way throughout their lifetime.

MESS ツ

Did you taste as many apples as you could? :)

MESS — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 11:48:36 GMT

Did you taste as many apples as you could? :)

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone will not either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.

MESS ♡

German Chocolates... Best "Goodies"... :)

MESS — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 04:08:18 GMT

German Chocolates... Best "Goodies"... :)

Eating gives a grand pleasure momentarily but the undescribable pleasure of German chocolates just kills me!

One of my neighbors has been living in Germany for long years. Every summer she returns Turkey for a few weeks, and each time she makes it to here, she brings me chocolate. She has been doing that since my childhood. It's like a tradition or habit of hers. I feel like jumping for joy when I see her return home. "Yay, chocolate time!"

Of all other brands, which I really love crazily, madly and badly, my favorite German chocolate is Milka. Yeah, I have my mouth water already! :)))

MESS ツ

What Makes Me Happy... :)

MESS — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 08:39:54 GMT

What Makes Me Happy... :)

1. Falling in love

2. Laughing so hard that my face hurts

3. No lines at supermarket

4. A special glance

5. Receiving an e-mail

6. Hearing my favorite song on the radio

7. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside

8. Chocolate milkshake

9. Caramel Macchiato

10. Giggling

11. Laughing at myself

12. Laughing for no reason at all

13. Waking up and realizing I still have a few hours to sleep

14. Swinging on swings

15. Making eye contact with a cute stranger

16. Making chocolate chips cookies and eating them

17. Running into an old friend and realizing some things (good or bad) never change

18. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from me

19. Watching the sunrise

20. Friends

21. Knowing that someone misses me

22. Getting a hug from someone I care about deeply

23. Knowing I have done the right thing, no matter what other people think

24. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day

25. Having someone tell me that I am beautiful/good looking

... Which one is your favorite?

MESS ✿

I HATE YOU and I MEAN IT... :)

MESS — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 07:14:53 GMT

I HATE YOU and I MEAN IT... :)

It was like they waited to tell each other things that had never been told before. What he had to say was terrible and afraid. But what he would tell her was so true that it would make everything all right. Maybe it was a thing that could not be spoken with words or writing. Maybe he would have to let her understand this in a different way. That was the feeling she had with him.

"Listen," he broke the silence. "What I have been trying to say is... I... hate you. No, I lo... I hate you... with all my heart. I hate you, because you are you, and I am me, and I am nothing without you."

"Is he trembling? He "hates" me? Hate from the bottom of his heart? OMG, he hates me. Did you hear that? He HATES ME! Hate could never sound so charming and melodious to my ears if somebody else used that word... HATE... I hate you, too! And I have butterflies in my heart when you are around..."

She looked him straight in the eye. Would words suffice to show her joy? "Yes, I HATE you more than you hate me. Do you feel, though, this boisterous merriment in my heart?"

MESSY

Every End Is A New Beginning...

MESS — Mon, 28 May 2012 04:16:12 GMT

Every End Is A New Beginning...

5 years ago when I first entered the door of my department building, it was a whole new world to me, so giant, different and brandnew... Even the smell inside the building was quite uncommon to me. First thing that I had on my mind when I entered that door was "5 whole years... The start of a brandnew journey. New world, and long way to go. 5 years will not fly by."

Throughout these 5 years, I had quite a range of feelings from anger to happiness. There were many nights that I wrote papers till the small hours in the morning without winking my eyes even for a second and attended classes all day long feeling like a real Zombie. There were times that I cried out of anger when I was unable to come through homeworks, papers and projects. I once felt extremely humiliated when I was not let into the classroom for 2 minutes late arrival. I got my first low mark in an insignificant course and I felt truly ashamed. I skipped many classes in first grade indifferently just because they did not interest me much...

First time in my life, I supported what I strongly believed to be true to the end and the assisstant professor appreciated my self-confidence loudly in public. I got applauded warmly by many people at my first acting experience. I got my first job offer but had to decline it owing to my hectic schedule. I earned my own money first time in my life, and as soon as I had it in my purse, I bought gifts for my family. I spent all the money in one go but the grandest joy of it cannot be explained...

As I experienced, I knew myself better. All this, including more, happened in 5 years which I thought would never fly by. I had graduation ball last night and danced the night away with my classmates without stopping. I felt like, as I danced, all those troubles and pains that I had collected in my brain were moved away with each movement of my body. And at the end of the night, I felt extremely relieved, not to mention my bruised feet after being on high heels for long hours. And finally, I thought to myself, "This is not the end. In contrary, every end is a new beginning."

MESSY ★

Solitaire Ring... :)))

MESS — Tue, 22 May 2012 07:03:37 GMT

Solitaire Ring... :)))

Here is a funny conversation that made me laugh hard last night:

My mother was on the phone with my middle brother who studies in a distant city, and mesmerized by his outstanding achievements, she was bestowing her favors on him. For a second, I overheard her words to him: "Be as glittering as a piece of gold. Always shine and stand out!"

"Mom, he is a piece of gold and I am an invaluable diamond. Welcome to treasure island." I said suddenly. I was just messing with her, and my youngest brother's remark (10) made me guffaw:

"Mom, I am a solitaire ring, aren't I?"

I can understand gold and diamond but "solitaire ring" would not come to my mind. Kids know more than we imagine.

MESSY

Oh, Pooh :)

MESS — Mon, 21 May 2012 05:48:59 GMT

Oh, Pooh :)

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

...Simple but perfectly meaningful.

MESSY ღ

The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter

MESS — Thu, 17 May 2012 11:18:16 GMT

The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter

The Heart is a lonely hunter with only one desire! To find some lasting comfort in the arms of anothers fire... driven by a desperate hunger to the arms of a neon light. The heart is a lonely hunter when there is no sign of love in sight!

(Carson McCullers)

MESSY ❤

The Way Sadness Works

MESS — Mon, 14 May 2012 04:31:24 GMT

The Way Sadness Works

"The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that happy things are tainted with sadness, the way smoke leaves its ashen colors and scents on everything it touches. And you may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down."

HAPPY MESSY

The Mortgaged Heart

MESS — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:02:23 GMT

The Mortgaged Heart

Love is the bridge that leads from the I sense to the We, and there is a paradox about personal love. Love of another individual opens a new relation between the personality and the world. The lover responds in a new way to nature and may even write poetry. Love is affirmation; it motivates the yes responses and the sense of wider communication. Love casts out fear, and in the security of this togetherness we find contentment, courage. We no longer fear the age-old-haunting questions: "Who am I?" "Where am I going?" - and having cast out fear, we can be honest and charitable.

(The Mortgaged Heart - Carson McCullers)

MESSY

MESSY Equation... :)

MESS — Wed, 09 May 2012 06:46:54 GMT

MESSY Equation... :)

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness."

(Quoted from "LOVE and DEATH")

MESSY, as always!

Being Perfect

MESS — Sun, 06 May 2012 23:27:48 GMT

Being Perfect

Being perfect is not about being fluent in English, German or Spanish. It is not about winning the lottery. It is not about being rich and living in the lap of luxury. It is about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends.

Being perfect is about being able to look your beloved ones in the eye and know that you did not let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There was not one more thing you could have done. Can you live in that moment as best as you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that, you are perfect!

MESSY

The Mirror

MESS — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 00:45:02 GMT

The Mirror

The mirror,

Reflects our lives,

Back to us,

And shows us,

What we look like,

To others.

But it does not show,

What we look like,

To ourselves.

And it does not show,

What is inside.

It only shows,

Things that should not matter,

To anyone...

MESSY

Self-Questioning

MESS — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:32:41 GMT

Self-Questioning

I make mistakes like others. And I always take a lesson from my mistakes. That's the way how I get to learn the truth. Each mistake of mine makes me realize what I should do and what I should not do next time, but sometimes, I find myself going after the don'ts of my life, which makes me feel weird, because it is a bit crazy to do what you should not do.

Who does the things that he/she promises not to do at all? The blind or the fearless or the idiot? Yeah, I do that, but I do not know why I really do that. Maybe, because I am fearless and never afraid of trying constantly. It is indeed a part of my nature to take safe steps after thoroughly weighing the consequences of what I have done and shape what I will do. However, it is also funny to choose erroneous challenges with eyes open, despite taking lessons from past actions. So why does a person do that at all?

Anyway, all in all, I am seriously thinking of making a list of things that I should not do, things that I learn after making mistakes. I will hang the list on my pinboard in my room to see it every day so that I remind myself of what to do and what not to do. I will see then what I do and how I act after being exposed to these experiences every day.

MESSY

The Happy Return

MESS — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 04:26:53 GMT

The Happy Return

"We are friends and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter. I would not mind washing up beside you, dusting beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front. We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often." Jeanette Winterson

On my return to Ebaby, I discovered that all that time that I had cancelled my previous account one year back, I was burning with a great desire to come back and a hurtful regret that I should not have vanished all of a sudden leaving my friends behind and wondering where I disappeared so suddenly.

I had my own reasons to deactivate my account a year ago, and just because I do not like goodbye ceremonies that generally end in tears and broken hearts, I left out of the blue while no one was expecting my disappearance, so that I was able to avoid saying goodbye to my precious friends, but all that while, I had to face myself, and inner talks like, what you did was quite unfair to your friends. It was a bit selfish, maybe, but returning is also a remarkabe surprise.

So here I am now back with my great friends. And I am truly happy to be back here!

Happy spring, my dear friends! Smile an everlasting smile and seize the day!

MESSY