please give me a peaceful heart

i have no idea.

i  just want a peaceful  heart

without sadness,pain and panic.

this year is very important to me ,to my family and to my life.

i must work very very hard.

however, when i am  in deep sleeping,

i always wake up with panic.

i just want a peaceful  heart, that is all.

someone said,

life is like a river and nobody can help you cross the river

but yourself.

i didn't understand it until now.

maybe there is no reason to carry the darkness of the past

with me into today.

i know, i know it.

please give me power,contentment,joy

and a peaceful heart.