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nothing venture nothing gain

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February 9, 2010

I love reading blogs from other friends here in Ebaby! I often read beautiful writings about life, love, experiences, compliments and I've read one of them this morning. It's so wise, beautiful entry and absolutely giving some visions about life, about how you appreciate life itself.  

Life... at this second, I don't know exactly how I appreciating my life, I don't know what life is. There are lot of theories on the net, books, I came acrossed, but I don't know exactly how to implement them, or do I really need their implementations? I've read books, articles about being a good woman, to be honest, it is a truly willing deep in my heart that I'm drop dead longing to be a better woman, better according of my capacity. I just thought that what else do I really need in life except touching up my personality, attitude, or anything that it could be.

You know, questioning my self over and over, what exactly do I really want in life? I try to break down them below;

1. First of all, it's a confession, I have no courage to read books which the theme are profiles of women in Rasullullah's life. I'm too chicken hearted about facing the truth that I'm too much far from their figures. But I have a wish that one day I'll make it through. It's one of my amazing wish besides being a mature interior designer. LOL. 

2. Poligami is my worst nightmare in life. My previous divorcement left a wide hole of heart broken, seems I won't have another part of heart to be broken once again. I don't have another shoulders to carry on, I don't mind if I have to live as a single, as long as I can touch and raise my daughters. They are the best healing of loneliness.

Everybody wants a perfect scenario of life, but I think I'm not really curious about having one.

More entries: I'm back to write.. (9), Don't wanna go anywhere.. (2), Treated my blog.. (4), do you know... (6), I'm missing English..., preparing the wedding... (12), Had a crush on you... (4), Thanks to Allah.., (3), I feel "enjoying life" today..., Try to be tough.. don't let trivial matter ruin my everything... (3)

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