Marni's World

In the past I have talked about weddings being too expensive and possibly not even worth it with divorce rates being what they are these days. Well, perhaps this little cynic is finally going to have to “eat some crow” as I too am “taking the plunge” as they say one month from now. With the date looming in the near future I have to admit I am becoming a bit of a basket case. I am thrilled to be marrying my wonderful future husband, but the wedding itself is becoming a crazy affair.

Truth be told we are paying for the wedding ourselves and that means we are doing it on the smallest of budgets. We are super lucky to have amazing fiends and family members helping us with many of the details. In all honesty lucky, isn’t even the right word. The right word is more like we are forever indentured servants to all those who are helping us out. The thing is, I don’t care about having the perfect wedding or any of that meaningless crap, I merely want to throw a great party and have all of my loved ones around me to celebrate this momentous occasion. 

So why am I a basket case then? If I don’t care about the perfect day or the perfect dress or any of that, why am I so stressed about things? Well I guess it just comes with the territory. Wedding day + bride = basket case. I thought I would be able to change this equation but alas I am succumbing to the fervor. I am not a Bridezilla nor will I be in the horrible reality TV sense, but if I could just hand over all the details to someone I would in a heartbeat. I guess this is the price I pay for all of that previous skepticism.  Curses!

Wow, I just had a three-day weekend thanks to the President’s Day holiday, which is really just a chance for stores to have a one-day sale.  Seriously, it is one of the least memorable holidays.  Anyway, I had such lofty plans for my weekend and yet all I did all weekend, besides laundry, was watch really bad movies.

I didn’t go out and see anyone. I didn't go out at all.  I just stayed home with three dogs and a Netflix cue that could have belonged to a thirteen-year-old boy.  I am a little too embarrassed to actually list the movies that I watched, but let’s just say I wish I could rewind all three nights and get the six plus hours back that I wasted per movie. 

I feel a bit pathetic as I head back into my work week that my huge to-do list is still starring at me with nary an item being accomplished.  I keep thinking about all of the things I could have done with my six hours had I not watched those movies.  I could have practiced my Spanish, (I’m trying to learn), read, cleaned the house, practiced my drums, tried a new recipe, done yoga, or simply have watched any of the many documentaries that are on my must watch list.  Any of those options would have been a much better use of my time than the one I opted for.  Alas, I cannot change what has been done; I can only make better choices next weekend.

Well here it is a brand new year and once again I am on a self- imposed cleanse.   It seems that every year I try to ring in the new year by purging the previous year’s toxins.  Now there are many different ways to approach a cleanse.  You can go full speed with a Master cleanse where all you consume is a mixture of water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup that you drink multiple times a day for various lengths of time, lasting as long as ten days.  There are a myriad of packaged cleanses that consist of herbs and supplements that come with instructions so you can either be really successful or really lazy depending on your level of interest.  You can also take on a more non-traditional approach and design your own cleanse based on what your body or what you think your body needs.  I am currently not succeeding with the last item on my list.

Now when I set about to cleanse this month I really had some lofty goals.  I thought I could cut out everything deemed bad for me, and embrace it as my cause, my raison d’être.  Alas, my will power is just not as strong as I had hoped and I have caved to my cravings more times than I care to mention. My intention was to cut out all processed sugar, dairy, gluten, alcohol, and basically anything delicious.  I have succumbed to all of these things. 

To be fair, I have cut down significantly on all of the aforementioned items and so I now view my cleanse as more of a process.  It is more of a  gradual cleanse and one that I will be really successful with come closer to the end of the month or perhaps the end of February.  You see I want to be in the optimum health in theory but in reality my food cravings always seem to get the better of me.  Why just the other night I was at a party and there was a chocolate fountain, a chocolate fountain people!!!  Who can say no to that?  I was dipping strawberries in left and right and of course the more you eat the more you want it.  Just like a true addict I was in deep with this sugar and I loved it! 

So you see, while I love the idea of cleansing, it is just so darn hard when the things you are eliminating are right there to tempt you.  I think that now while it is so bleak out in the dead of winter, a little sweetness in the form of chocolate, wine or even great rustic bread, is just what this gal needs.  And of course there is always tomorrow to make better choices, right?