Friendship or not?

Do you have the best friend? Before the last time I thought I had. But now I understand that I was mistaken. I’m disappointed not only in my best friend, but in my close friends from school too, and maybe in friendship at all.

When I’m funny and make laugh others – I’m their friend. When I help them on tests or other works – I’m also their friend. When somebody has problem or just need to be listened – I’m her best friend. But when I come to school with a sad mood or just haven’t will to laugh – they haven’t will to stay with me or only pretend that they sympathize with me. What’s the consequence then? I’m some clown, crib or handkerchief for tears for them, am not I?

You could say that they are simply not friends for me. But earlier they were another. Our relations were so good. It has changed this year – the last year at school. What was the reason? I don’t understand. Maybe we’ve become boring for each other. I think it can’t happen with REAL friendship. So, where is it?

Now I’m staying at home and haven’t will to go to the school, where my ‘friends’ with their hypocrisy wait for me.
But I have to…