jode

To those who does not believe in love or afraid of , who does not believe in luck or think there is no such thing ,who does not believe in coincidence and sacrifice . short story to read my story 

                                    My first and last

What makes live perfect , money , good job , relation ships , I had all that and I thought I have the perfect live, I did not know it was delusion , I always thought if I tried my best to make people around me happy I will be happy too and my live will be perfect , I spend most of my life care for other for their feelings never care for main. Even if someone hurt me I wont do the same. Time pass and days goes and I became more and more sick but no one noticed. I never know what I miss in my life I thought I am happy but I was not , I guess I was good in hiding my sadness as I am good in hiding my sickness. I was lying to my self . actually I did not have time for my self but I always  manage  to found time for others for their needs , I never know how it feels to be in love in real love, I was always afraid to fall in love to care for someone that much .to have serious relationship and more afraid to get hurt .until I met her.

I saw her when i was walking (An Angel ), she was so beautiful so amazing I could not stop looking at her .until suddenly she disappeared. I thought I will never see her again that broke my heart I did not know why I don't even know this girl but there is something in her get all my attention . and the next day I was so surprise that she will work in the same place I work in , the first thing came to my head is that I have to talk to her , I was so good at words I always know what to say specially to girls , but I swear I thought of a million sentences to say to her and non of them was good to start a conversation. at the end I just changed my mind and I decided not to talk to her .

 every day I see her I find my self falling in love with her more and more how idid not know idid not even say hi to her not even once. ,

some time I look at her from a window and she does not know that I exist .

some time I reach her door ,and I don't know what to say so I return back to my office. Strange feeling I felt it for the first time

. And once my best friend dare me to talk to her , it was a challenge for my manhood so I went to her room and I said the most stupid thing ever , I asked her about her hair cut ( soooo womanly ) she laughed and said I cut it by my self . God I wanted to die at that moment for what I said but when I saw her smiling I felt happy she was amazing that I stand for seconds or less like a fool , I had that foolish smile . I thought it will be my last time to talk to her after what I said , but I also thought at least I saved my manhood with a stupid sentence but I saved my manhood..

 Finally , God answers my prayers she came and she talked to me it was for work , but I was so happy that I had a chance to talk to her again to look at her lovely eyes once more not from destine like i use to . she was close that I could smile her perfume it was a moment but it was great and for lifetime . working together give me a chance to know her more and I was glade thankful for that. I know that she could see the love in my eyes I know that she felt it like I did . but I did not have the courage to say a word the age difference and other reasons stopped me , she was the right person for me yet hard to get. until it was the last day of our work together , I was sad I wanted to tell her how much I love her how much I need her ,and I don't feel a live without her. But I could not and when it was the time for me to leave she whispered I love you I could not believe what I hared I wanted her to say it millions of time it was like a dream came true I was more than happy , happy actually does not express what I felt that moment I even start jumping which is really strange and stupid to came from someone in my age . No one care for me like she did even though most of the time I am sick and tired some times I can't walk but she is always there for me she never complain Except when i refuse to take my medicine, she is one of a kind , she is my first and my last , caring loving person she never get tired of me even if I get mad sometime over stupid staff and scream, she came and apologies even if she did not do anything wrong . she love with passion and every day is a new day with her , she always know how to make my day special and how to surprise me. We had many trouble at the beginning many people were against us . but we survived , she believed in me like I believed in her , with her I feel I am Capable of doing the Impossible.

For you my love my sweet little girl my angel my star , for you my darling for you my wife , I may not live that long for you but I wanted you to know that I am sorry if I act stupid sometime I am sorry If I screamed or get mad and said things and hurt your feeling , I know I am not perfect but I also know that I will love you like no one in the whole world will , I love you more than word could say or explain , I never know what love is until I met you , I love you with all my heart and I will always love you until the last day of my life until the last breath. You give me everything when no one did you care for me in sickness and in health , you never get mad at me , you just accepted me and you never tried to change me like I was trying to do to you . you and only you. I am so sorry for all what idid , and I am thankful for who you are and thank you for helping me to be who I am now better person and happier and most of all with you I feel alive . you were my first and you will be my last.

I love you and always will be.

Your husband F-L-J