just a joke

Two 80 year old American ladies were standing having a cigarette outside the nursing home.
Jane said to Molly,"what the hells that you've got on your cigarette?"
Molly said "It's called a condom and I cut the end of it and it keeps the rain off, you can get them in any Drugstore"
Next day Jane went to the Drugstore and asked for a packet of condoms, the Pharmacist couldn't believe what the 80 year old was saying and asked her what type she preferred .
Molly replied, "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel!"

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A rich manufacturer has a dinner in a restaurant. Paying for dinner he's given the waiter a ten copeck tip. Offended waiter says, “Even your son gives not less than a ten roubles tip.” “You know,” says manufacturer, “my son can afford it because he has a very rich father. And I am an orphan.”

After the rough night drinking Rzhevsky woke up and found nearby him so ugly woman he had never seen before.
– Damn it. Who are you? – asked Rzhevsky.
– I don’t know who I am now, but all the night you called me the Russian Beauty.
Poruchik Rzhevsky:
– Madame, you are so beautiful in this toilet!
– Poruchik, close the door.
A guests gathered at Rzhevsky’s and he was still absent. At last a servant entered:
– If poruchik be able he’ll be in an hour.
– And if he doesn’t?
– Then he’ll be in two minutes.

A man had a tattoo done of $100 note on his penis. When his wife asked him why he did it, he said: "Well, there are four reasons.
One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And lastly, instead of going out shopping, you can stay at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want!"

i like this joke

Hello,I am fresh here.

In the rich family there was an ugly daughter. One day she started to date a boy. Once her mother found them kissing.

"I hope you have a serious intentions, young man?" she said severely.

"Of course I'm doing it not for pleasure indeed." 

Woman: I'd like to enter in the top 10 the most beautiful women of Russia!

Man: Really? I'd like to enter in them too.

You know I met so beautiful girl but my family is against her.

Father and mother?

No, wife and children.

The scientists of the University of Honduras found the gene responsible for intellect. It was 100% tested on mice. However, unfortunately, all efforts to find this gene at the scientists themself were failed.