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Share a fun joke and learn English

ilyasma

ilyasma

Sri Lanka

This is hopefully to share fun jokes to get us laugh each day. If you get anything Jokes and fun feel free to share it here.

 

Well, I will start a joke here and feel free to share yours as well.

 

Job interview of a young engineer 

 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

 

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

 

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years—say, a red Corvette?"

 

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

 

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

 Lol…

http://spokenenglishhelp.blogspot.com/ 

10:51 AM Aug 12 2009 |

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Aki in L.A

Aki in L.A

Japan

I like this one.

A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”

Copyright? Who cares? :P

01:31 PM Aug 12 2009 |

ilyasma

ilyasma

Sri Lanka

Don't Mess with the Judge

.

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunken to the jail. The next day the man went before the judge.

.

The judge asked the man, “Where do you work?”

.

The man said, “Here and there.”

.

The judge asked the man, “What do you do for a living?”

.

The man said, “This and that.”

.

The judge then said, “Take him away.”

.

The man said, “Wait, judge when will I get out?”

.

The judge said to the man, “Sooner or later.” 

.

 I wish you a nice day!!! :)

09:45 AM Aug 15 2009 |

R_A

R_A

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

02:28 PM Aug 15 2009 |

Jack_240

Jack_240

Saudi Arabia

Soldier: Sir!! we are surrounded !! 

 

Sergeant: Excellent! now we can attack from any direction.!

 

LOL

 

 

03:12 PM Aug 15 2009 |

ilyasma

ilyasma

Sri Lanka

Great Writer

 There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" 

 

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. 

L:)L

12:05 PM Aug 16 2009 |

ilyasma

ilyasma

Sri Lanka

The Perfect Son.


A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Have a nice day!

:)

05:38 AM Aug 18 2009 |

aoyunhui

aoyunhui

China

 A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

12:11 PM Aug 19 2009 |

aoyunhui

aoyunhui

China

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". 
Student: I is the…
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

12:17 PM Aug 19 2009 |

ilyasma

ilyasma

Sri Lanka

Mr.Bean Science
.
Major Rohail:
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to electric failure

Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR for 5 hrs

 

10:53 AM Aug 21 2009 |