JoKeS

hay ppl u just have to post 1 of the best joke u know….

well let me start.

"Height of insult"

Wife to Husband

if the earth is going to be finished after 30 min wot u will like to do in that 30 min

Husband: ofcourse SEX!!

Wife: wot about next 28 min???

WHOM DO YOU BELIEVE?
One day, a friend of the Hodja came to him and asked if he could borrow his donkey for two hours to go to the town. The Hodja, not really wanting to lend his donkey, thought for a while and then said:
“Dear friend, I would like to help you but I have lent my donkey to another friend”
The man was turning to leave when he heard the donkey, who was in the stable, bray. The braying became louder and louder. Then the man turned to the Hodja with great anger and shouted:
“You, Hodja, you have cheated me!”
The Hodja, in turn, was very angry and shouted back: “You silly man, haven't you any sense, whom do you believe, me or the donkey”.

 Nasraddin Hodja, the master of Turkish humorists, lived in Akþehir between 1208-1285. He had taken medrese education (Muslim logic school) and he self-educated himself. There are limited information about his historical character but we can understand that he is a philosopher from what had been told for ages. His humour instead of making it, by sharing his life with the ones around him. Nasreddin Hodja constitued new humour stories were created for ages and by this, his humour reached today as vived as yesterday.

BLANKET IS GONE
At midnight the Hodja heard a noise. Two men were struggling outside. The Hodja got out of his bed with a blanket over him and went to the front of his house. He asked them why they were fighting. Without answering, one of them took the blanket that covered the Hodja and they both fled. So the poor Hodja returned to his bed again.
“What were they fighting about?”, asked his wife.
“About our blanket”, said the Hodja. “Now the blanket is gone, so the struggle is over.”
 

CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD
At the time of the Hodja, some clever and educated men were searching for an intelligent man, who could answer their three questions.
They traveled through the whole world and then came to Akshehir. They asked:
“Who is most intelligent man in this town?”
Of course the people of the town brought the Hodja to the three men and they began to ask. “First question: Where is the central point of the world?”
The Hodja's donkey was with him. So he pointed to his donkey.
“Where the front legs of my donkey are, there is the middle point of the world.”
“How can you prove that?” asked one of the men.
“If you don't believe, you can measure it”, the Hodja said.
Measuring did not seem a good idea to them, so they went on to the next question.
“How many stars are on the sky?”
The Hodja replied without hesitation:
“As many as the hairs on my donkey's mane.”
The three men laughed.
“If you don't believe it,” said the Hodja. “you can count them.”
The foreigners understood that they couldn't get a correct reply and one of them asked:
“Can you say how many hairs are in your donkey's mane?”
“Oh, yes”, said the Hodja. “There are exactly the same number of hairs as you have in your beard. Now don't tell me, that you don't believe that because I can prove it by pulling one hair from your beard and one from the donkey's mane. When we pull each hair out one after the other, you can see at the end that there are the same number of hairs.”

The three men went back to their country and told everyone that the cleverest man in the world lived in Akshehir.
 

BLACK BOOK
Once upon a time the Hodja was a judge and one day a man came to him.
“Your cow has killed mine!”, he cried.
The Hodja shouted:
“You silly fellow, how can the cow know that it is a crime to kill another cow. Case dismissed!”
“Oh sorry”, said the man. “I said it wrong. My cow has killed yours.”
“Then, this is another problem”, said the Hodja. “We'll open the black book and see what it says.”
 

I like Nasreddin Hoca's jokes so much. I hope you enjoy reading.

IMMIGRANT

One day, a thief came to the house of the Hodja and took everything he had except the blanket which covered him.
When the Hodja saw the thief carrying all his things away, he put his blanket over his shoulders and followed him.

HODJA'S WIFE AND HIS DONKEY

When his wife died, the Hodja became very sorry, but he mourned for her only a few days.
After a while his donkey died and he was even more sorrowful and mourned for him many months.
People asked him why and he answered:
“When my wife died, they all said, they could find a younger and better one for me, but when my donkey died, nobody offered the same service.”
 

Blink,

Where are you? Why dont you read those wonderful jokes? I am waiting for your comments…

MIRACLE OF THE TURBAN (old type of hat)
One day a man brought a letter to the Hodja and said:
“Hodja Effendi, please read it to me.”,
The Hodja saw that it was written in a foreign language and said:
“I cannot read that, it isn't written in Turkish.”
The man became angry:
“You are a teacher. You should be ashamed of your turban! You cannot read a letter.”
The Hodja put the turban on the head of the man and said:
“If the miracle is on the turban, take it and read the letter by yourself.”

 ABOUT A BIRD…

A wealthy man is loosing his pet..it is a bird..a parrot and he is soo sad and trying to find it all over his backyard and garden..One day he has a chance to ask about his bird when the community of his village is gathered for a ceremony..and he is start asking…

Did anybody saw a bird lately?..all the marriage women is standing..no no no..that is not what i meant…i mean who has a bird like a…before he finished speaking…all the men person is standing..no..thats is not what i meant either…i just want to ask ..who has seen my bird…his wife is now standing..and also…his lady servant…everyone is soo stun..and they all witness in front of their eyes…a wife is chasing her husband like crazy…

Asian boi,

Sorry that I have posted more than one joke because I couldnt decide for only one of them…

It wont happen next time.