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Life Talk!

My roommate was still a virgin untill she got married

lucybaby219

China

I live in China, although some girls here are very open and forward in the matter of love and sex, many still keep their virginity before marriage.

take my roommate for example, she has been in a solid relationship with her boyfriend for 5 years, it’s a love marathon, isn’t it~~ she is going to get married this July, when she’s on business travel, her caring boyfriend sends her text messages every day every hour, my roommate told me that she wanted to have a baby in the first year of their marriage, she loves children. For the well being of her up-coming baby, her boyfriend has quitted smoking and drinking even before the marriage!! And she took a jog every morning to keep healthy, do they go too far?

One night when we chatted , she told me she felt weird about lying in the same bed with her husband-to-be after they get married, then I asked “have you two had sex yet……..?” she shook her head and told me she was against “the premarital sex”, I was astonished, for one thing, I don’t like it she used the term “premarital sex” , sounds like something illegal, for another, they never have sex! And she already has this “baby plan”!! My god….is this world crazy or it’s just me ……..?

 

02:34 AM Apr 29 2008 |

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Jane Doe

Jane Doe

Indonesia

I actually like your lines about the test drive Lucy, I got your point really. some of my friends said "how do you know that he's not into bdsm if you two hadn't have sex yet? or how about if he's lousy in bed?" etc etc

I am a virgin, I always think I will give it to the right man that deserve it. I completely respect people who share the deepest intimacy with their boyfriend/girlfriend because it means they are completely trust each other. On the other side, I respect those who tried to keep it until after the wedding. trust me, it's not easy.

And I don't think it is weird for your friend to planned about baby ;) because I do plan to have baby like AFTER we hit 1 year marriage. I need to catch up so much thing in a year, I think.

As in whether a man should keep his virginity for the sake of his future wife, I'm not really agree with that. I actually don't really agree if a man required his wife to be virgin when he's not. or a virgin woman demands a virgin man..lol. If you really love someone you wouldn't care about his/her past sex life. besides, it is not about their past. it is about you and your lover, right here right now and your future together don't you think?

 

Aljensen, it is not weird really. my man actually said the same thing about marry a virgin woman..he said it'll be too much work lol. I was like "wait..don't you think you should feel flattered or something?"Laughing

I do think one virgin is enough between us. whenever he has a doubt (as in he feels he doesn't deserve me) I always tell him that I am lucky he is not a virgin because at least he wouldn't stick it in the wrong hole. 

12:51 PM May 01 2008 |

aljensen

aljensen

United States

The funny thing is that because of gender-selective abortions in Asia, in which boys are given preference to girls, there is now a major shortage of women. Because of this women now have a better bargaining position than ever before. Men simply are no longer able to demand that women behave a certain way.

 

02:18 PM May 01 2008 |

aljensen

aljensen

United States

Also, I have slept with girls who were virgins and with girls who were not virgins, and I can't say that a virign was better. I think for some women, especially in developing countries, remaining a virgin is an easy thing to do to raise their economic value. Virginity, after all, is a commodity.

But boys and men of course they don't want to know about a woman's sexual past! Men are jealous creatures.  I think perhaps what men want is a woman who knows how to act, how to pretend, how to make him feel as if he was the only man to ever walk the earth. Of course, he would be a moron to actually believe it – but that is romance, I think, creating a fantasy.

Finally – I have to say there is such a thing as sexual chemistry. Sometimes people just don't get along sexually, even if everything else between them is perfect, and there really isn't anything you can do. Better to know beforehand!

02:28 PM May 01 2008 |

aljensen

aljensen

United States

No, it was just a general statement, not really about sex, but about what it seems like men want in terms of how women behave with them. I guess the term would be "flirting". Some virgins are very good at flirting. 

A friend of mine once said, “Before sex, men are crazy. After sex, women are crazy.” 

With the two virgins I slept with, I ended up having a very good sexual relationship with one. I can’t say why the sex ended up good in one relationship and bad in the other. And by the way, I’m not talking about how the sex was for me – sex is always good for men! :) – but how the sex was for the woman involved.

 I guess the danger, for me, in marrying a virgin is that she will eventually become curious (aren’t women more curious than men) and have to try someone else.

03:29 PM May 01 2008 |

Lin etual

Lin etual

Russian Federation

You all speak about sex like it’s the main part of love. But i think it’s above love!! It’s sacred!! There’s only way to intimicy if your hearts beat together, isn’t there??

04:17 PM May 01 2008 |

mike_gwen

mike_gwen

Indonesia

I’ve already said before that recently keeping virginity is difficult.why?because there’s so many temptation for a girl to lose it soon.so it really need a lot of courage from women to look her self as a very precious thing in the universe.because no one would see her as a valuable thing before she do it herself,or she must love herself first and then she could really love other..aliajsen-I think what you’d said earlier is relative,not all woman’d think the same.because loving it’s not always about sex.

09:09 PM May 01 2008 |

etery

etery

Finland

You all speak about sex like it's the main part of love.

May be sex isn't the main part of love, but it's very important one. I think we can discuss the point endlessly.

About jealousy: yes, men are jealous creatures. My husband wishs he had been my first sexual partner. And when he remember that he hadn't, he always shake his fist at me. Actually, he beats me with a wooden spoon.(just a jokeLaughing

On the contrary, I always liked men with sexual experience.(Although I've never slept with a man who is virgin.)

09:23 PM May 01 2008 |

mike_gwen

mike_gwen

Indonesia

Angel – I just want to point out how a woman by being keep virgin would(smtimes) really show her love to herself.so automaticly she deserves to be love instead.it start from herself and delivered to her relationship.men’d also respect them than ever.I’m not saying that virginity is women’s own responsibility but at least they’d encourage men to respect her choice about virginity if women show some self respect..I’m sorry for my bad English,my friend. : )

12:24 AM May 02 2008 |

mike_gwen

mike_gwen

Indonesia

Angel – I just want to point out how a woman by being keep virgin would(smtimes) really show her love to herself.so automaticly she deserves to be love instead.it start from herself and delivered to her relationship.men’d also respect them than ever.I’m not saying that virginity is women’s own responsibility but at least they’d encourage men to respect her choice about virginity if women show some self respect..I’m sorry for my bad English,my friend. : )

12:27 AM May 02 2008 |

denis312

denis312

Philippines

I agree. Too much words has been said about this virginity issue. I just want to keep neutral.. As i have seen it, virginity ;;everybody has their own choice and its a matter of respect also, then it will be real meaning of love.  Individuality makes us unique in belief and  idealism.. lets not urge others to conform on our belief instead try to respect and understand them and so with the choice that we made.  

09:26 AM May 23 2008 |