The day as usual

How to set a regular schedule when u r broke and looking for a job?

I was ever good at English, but my life was never stable. The bad-pay job and huge debt almost beated me.  This spring festival was the most upset one in my past 26 years life. I'm the most clever and best educated one in my family, but I could not be the expected one. I disappointted my father and the other eldership.

 I've wasted 5 years in the university, and only half used the time in high school. 2.5 years after graduated from the university now, I achieve nothing but have a completely idle year.

I spent so many time to think what I've done and what I should do in the future and right now. But I could not just proceed day after day. That's always a temporary endeavor.

No saving, no job, decreasing friends, only my father are the constant backup to me. I'm so sorry but I just can't stir myself to pursuit the outstanding real-life achievement. The ruined university life, the wasted time and money, the deserted major, the unstable character, the greedy desire and the poor ability may draw me to the hell.

But guilt and shame are destructive feeling. The time and energy spent on them is just a waste. Suppose you have hurt your beloved, self-abuse accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you have make the mistakes, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future.

So, make up an effective schedule and stick at it. Find the essential part in your life and put all your resources on it.

It is much easier to say than to do. I know everything especially the theory, but just the unstable life make a coward helpless.

Anyway, I could always try my best when I have a job.

But when could I find my ideal job if I still indulge further and further?