Learn English with English, baby!

Join for FREE!

Social_nav_masthead_logged_in

My Blog

peacockblue

China

  •  
  • Subscribe to my RSS

May 25, 2007

T-Shirt Sayings

(1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

(3) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

(4) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

(5) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

(6) I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.

(7) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

(8) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

(9) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

(10) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

(11) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

(12) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

(13) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

(14) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

(15) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)

(16) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

(17) Procrastinate Now

(18) Rehab Is for Quitters

(19) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

"Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time"

"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)

"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

"Procrastinate Now"

"Rehab Is for Quitters"

"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"

"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?"

"Party -- My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt)

"If a woman's place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR!"

"ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING"

"A hangover is the wrath of grapes"

"STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"

"They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken"

"He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"

"POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN......Cops have nothing to go on."

"HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"

"A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS--But it uses up a thousand times the memory."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

"HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."

"HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!"

"The trouble with life is there's no background music."

"The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."

"Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane."

"MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"

"Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."

"Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."

May 12, 2007

Sometimes life presents ironical situations that defy explanation. Murphy's Laws attempt to explain these crazy situations. Did you ever wonder why so many things go wrong, all the time?
Murphy must never have imagined that his casual statement would someday become law! Murphy's Laws symbolize the error-prone nature of people and processes. Given below is a top 10 list of Murphy's Laws. These weren't actually uttered by Murphy. They just belong to the category of quotations that are known as "Murphy's Laws."

1) Murphy's Law

If something can go wrong, it will.

2) Murphy's Law

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

3) Murphy's Law

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

4) Murphy's Law

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

5) Murphy's Law

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

6) Murphy's Law

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

7) Murphy's Law

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

8) Murphy's Law

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

9) Murphy's Law

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

10) Murphy's Law

The first myth of management is that it exists.

11:38 PM May 24 2007

bahaman
Bahamas

funny

06:40 PM May 20 2007

peacockblue
China

HAHA,it's interesting.Wink

It seems that all the things about PROBABILITY we learned are useless.

 

05:12 AM May 17 2007

Queen of Fairies
Belarus

Yeah, it's like everytine my boss's away and I'm in the office - he never calls. But as soon as I'm out - he calles me! He might be thinking I'm immediately off when he's away!