Marni's World
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United States
July 19, 2011
This weekend I went to my one and only wedding of the summer. It was a beautiful wedding and it felt like a very real and personal celebration of these two people and the life that they are creating together. I had a blast and was genuinely happy to be a part of their celebration the entire day.
In addition to teaching, I have worked on and off as a caterer for many years and as a caterer, I have worked my fair share of weddings. Every time I cater a wedding, I am always struck by how horribly formulaic and impersonal weddings tend to feel. You hear the same songs, the same speeches; you see the same dresses, etc. The sad thing is I know that people spent a fortune on what is supposed to be their special day and as an outside observer it is anything but special. Now I guess perhaps I refute my point right there. I am an outside observer and I don’t know the people. As someone who has seen many weddings though, it is as if everyone bought a Wedding for Dummies manual and followed it to the letter.
Do I sound bitter? I’m really not but I am perplexed at why people spend so much money on weddings when the divorce rates are so high in the US! I have heard stories of brides who are offered large sums of money that they can either spend on their wedding or on a down payment for a house and they always choose the wedding. Why? A wedding is one day, one day of your life, but a house, a home is forever.
Have I always been such a pragmatist? No. I am speaking from experience. The truth is I was married once and I had a very beautiful and very expensive wedding. It was a great day and it felt personal and meaningful and the marriage lasted… two years. So I guess my point is…
1. Make sure you really want to marry the person you are marrying.
2. If you do want to marry that person, make the wedding meaningful. Think about what is important to you and make sure your wedding reflects you, not the desires of others.
3. Don’t spend a fortune. Remember, it is one day of your life! And if offered large sums of money to use on either a wedding or a down payment for a house… just remember the Vegas motto. "The house always wins!"
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