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Marni's World

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United States

July 19, 2011

This weekend I went to my one and only wedding of the summer. It was a beautiful wedding and it felt like a very real and personal celebration of these two people and the life that they are creating together. I had a blast and was genuinely happy to be a part of their celebration the entire day.

In addition to teaching, I have worked on and off as a caterer for many years and as a caterer, I have worked my fair share of weddings. Every time I cater a wedding, I am always struck by how horribly formulaic and impersonal weddings tend to feel. You hear the same songs, the same speeches; you see the same dresses, etc. The sad thing is I know that people spent a fortune on what is supposed to be their special day and as an outside observer it is anything but special. Now I guess perhaps I refute my point right there. I am an outside observer and I don’t know the people. As someone who has seen many weddings though, it is as if everyone bought a Wedding for Dummies manual and followed it to the letter.

Do I sound bitter? I’m really not but I am perplexed at why people spend so much money on weddings when the divorce rates are so high in the US! I have heard stories of brides who are offered large sums of money that they can either spend on their wedding or on a down payment for a house and they always choose the wedding. Why? A wedding is one day, one day of your life, but a house, a home is forever. 

Have I always been such a pragmatist? No. I am speaking from experience.  The truth is I was married once and I had a very beautiful and very expensive wedding. It was a great day and it felt personal and meaningful and the marriage lasted… two years. So I guess my point is…

1. Make sure you really want to marry the person you are marrying. 

2. If you do want to marry that person, make the wedding meaningful. Think about what is important to you and make sure your wedding reflects you, not the desires of others.

3. Don’t spend a fortune. Remember, it is one day of your life! And if offered large sums of money to use on either a wedding or a down payment for a house… just remember the Vegas motto. "The house always wins!"

More entries: Yet Another Athlete in the Headlines (5), Major Life Change (4), Oh a Camping I will Go! (7), Be Careful What You Say When It Comes to That Special Day (12), A Weekend Wasted!! (8), A New Year, A Not So New Me (5), Thoughts on the "Occupy" Movement (7), Heartbreak and Forgiveness (3), Advice on Your Wedding Day (5), The Death of Osama Bin Laden (3)

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04:04 PM Jul 26 2011



Baset 0_0 i'll do !! THANKS

03:58 PM Jul 26 2011

The Last Joke

it's a amazing blog !

I love everything that comes  ( package) (your package ).

Hey Joy :

Let me tell you something :

Spend the last few minutes before the wedding starts with your bridesmaids.

Do some deep breathing if you're nervous, and think about how long you have

been awaiting this precious day..

03:15 PM Jul 26 2011



WOW )_( it's sooooo nice advices )_( thank you so much !!!!

11:45 PM Jul 25 2011



I totally agree with you! People dont tend to make a long-term planification when getting married. In fact, neither have I done such a deep thinking of that issue. Thanks for sharing this point of view based on your experience, I might take it into consideration some day. I love the way you redact your posts, it helps me a lot! thanks         

P.S. I hope somebody could help me understand the part Marni says 'I've worked ON and OFF as a caterer'. I guess she is making emphasis of sth. Dunno what.

04:20 AM Jul 20 2011



Hi Marni

i'm from Belarus. Ihave been married for 11 years already. My parents offered us money on the wedding or what ever. We bought a flat and didn't have a celebration. I thought then it was reasoable. I even didn't buy a wedding dress, just wore one of my smart dresses. Now I think if we hadn't bought a flat we would have had to live with our parents (mine or his) and  our marriadge would have been destroyed by now. though sometimes I feel wedding is important, First u keep up the traditions, then, u show everybody that your love and your ententions are true, u promise t take care of the persn u r merring in front of the public (not alone in bed). And I sometimes feel embarrassed when my friends ask me to show my wedding photos... 

So I'm for weddings, but u should remember that "house always wins"