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Arranged Marriages
Arranged Marriages

Learn English with this 'arranged marriages' English lesson

Date: Nov 06 2018

Themes: Family, Romance

Grammar: Present Perfect Tense

Intro

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Are arranged marriages a custom in your country? Is it the norm for people to marry when they come of age? All over the world, it’s common for families to promise their children for marriage, sometimes even from birth. How you feel about this tradition depends on your cultural perspective.

Arranged marriages were common everywhere until the 1700s. Over time, they became less common, and today the practice isn’t widespread. Some young people just don’t trust their parents to choose someone for them. They want to make their own choices. But for others, it’s OK for their parents to be involved. They want their parents to find them a husband or wife. After all, it is a lot of work, and who knows you better than your family?

Marni is trying to understand her friend’s arranged marriage. Can Gary help? You’ll find out in today’s English lesson.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Marni

Marni

Gary

Gary

Marni:  So Gary, I have a friend who just told me that she is actually involved in an arranged marriage.

Gary:  Oh, no way! Was this arranged from birth?

Marni:  I guess so. It’s so bizarre to me because I’ve known her for so long, and this is just information she just revealed to me.

Gary:  Oh, wow.

Marni:  And I’m thinking, “Wow! That’s just so archaic.” But am I just coming at it from my own cultural perspective?

Gary:  You know, I think it’s your friend’s custom.

Marni:  Yeah.

Gary:  And that’s just a part of their tradition, right? She’s come of age recently… to be able to get married, I’m guessing.

Marni:  Yeah, yeah.

Gary:  So whatever this cultural norm is, it’s good for them. As long as she’s OK with it.

Marni:  I guess. To me… this is your life. You should be able to fall in love and marry whomever you want. But apparently your family has had this whole agreement with this other family since you were little.

Gary:  And there’s an expectation that the families are going to come together.

Marni:  I want to support her, but it’s hard for me to understand it. So I guess I just need to have more information.

Gary:  I completely understand.

 

Grammar Point

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Lesson MP3

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Discussion

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Marni is having a hard time understanding what she just learned from a friend. Her friend is going to be in an arranged marriage, and this is the first time she’s hearing it even though she’s known her friend for a long time. Marni isn’t especially comfortable with the idea, but she realizes that maybe she’s thinking about it as someone who didn’t grow up with this custom.

Gary reminds Marni that for people who grew up with the custom, it’s quite common. He agrees that Marni isn’t thinking about her friend’s marriage the way that her friend is because the two women have had different cultural experiences. Gary encourages Marni to get more information about arranged marriages before deciding how she feels about them.

Are arranged marriages common where you live? Are you in an arranged marriage, or will you be? What do you think about them?

 

Comments

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liguohui88

liguohui88

China

I can’t understand arranged marriage. How could people arranged others’ marriage?!

08:21 AM Nov 06 2018 |

paradizo

paradizo

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

arranged marriage is a form of business , better to say , buying and selling goods, while the goods are the man and woman. 

04:07 PM Jun 29 2015 |

1 person likes this

Djana

Djana

Algeria

Arranged marriages are quite comon here in Algeria ,but i think this costom will be less common in the future,cause now every body wants to marry whom he/she wants,everybody is responsible for their choice.Personally,i don’t like this idea,i mean marriage is an important thing and i can’t risk to get involved in an arranged marriage ,i don’t mean that our parents may be wrong ..but they might not bring us the right choice,and in anyway arranged marriages aren’t by force.

11:12 AM Jun 29 2015 |

1 person likes this

judinasve

judinasve

Russian Federation

Russia is a big country. Many different peoples live here. Every nation has it own customs. Russian had a custom arranged marriage at old time. But now our young people do their choice.There is no doubts I will give advice my daughter when she will be choose a man for life but this will be her own choice. And even I wouldn’t like her decision I will get it.


Recently I found out one my daughter’s friend is arranged marriage. She is 16. When she come of age she will get married with a guy whom she has never seen. He is a son of her parents’ friend. Young people didn’t meet. They only talked by phone and have photos each other. If she doesn’t get married with him this will be shame for all her family so her parents strictly follow her.

02:44 PM Nov 03 2014 |

2 people like this

vik32

vik32

India

yup in india it is quite common but at the same time arranged marriages aint like forceful marriages i guess people have a very wrong perception about this. In this custom parents find a suitable guy or girl for their child in terms of parents background, job , business and etc before selecting a guy/girl and then they share the picutre with their child if he/she is ok then only they proceed further.


Here also it is becoming less common time by time and we have started finding our own partner but with parents constent only we proceed for marriage.

07:29 AM Nov 03 2014 |

1 person likes this

Anuheh

Anuheh

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Now adays arranged marriage has turned into some suggestion from parents and the best is that  no one is forced for that and last decision is up to the both sides.

05:37 AM Oct 31 2014 |

fcf515

fcf515

Taiwan

Arranged marriages are rare where I live. I believe they were prevalent in old times. I don’t like the idea of arranged marriages because all should be able to find love and get married freely. After all, it’s them but their family that are going to spend the rest of lives with the person.

06:02 AM Oct 30 2014 |

1 person likes this

sara1234b

sara1234b

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Hey !


My personal opinion is that arranged marriages are really no better or worse than “love marriages,” as long as both participants are volunteers.


04:31 PM Oct 29 2014 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

Arranged marriages are deeply ingrained in some cultures. I agree with S@W  , it has been the cause of many suffering, specially  to young girls, still in puberty , that were forced to marry a much  older man. But i believe that now young generations  in these cultures have more freedom to marry  the couple  they are in love to. 

04:06 PM Oct 29 2014 |

S&W

S&W

China

Arranged marriages dominated in traditional chinese society.At that time,“Free Love” only exist in novel.The concept of Well matched marriage was deeply accepted by the whole society.Arranged marriaged killed true love and caused many tragedies.


What the difference between now and the past is,in the past,people put emphasis on result.When u reached marriageable age,you have to get married.But,now marriage tend to be formalize.People care about love and feelings.Although,We got high divorce rate result from we keep trying to find the right one plus the economic background.

03:43 PM Oct 29 2014 |

1 person likes this

houstonboo

Hong Kong

I am living in a city of China. In my generation, I had never heard about the arranged marriage as people living in my city is open-minded and self-feeling oriented. However, my grandparents’ generation have this bizarre custom and my grandparents are exactly the typical arranged marriage example. And they had given 8 children in their years. I think there is no absolute perspective of arranged marriage. but the changes of people thinking, feeling and the improvement of social communication.

10:15 AM Oct 29 2014 |

2 people like this

meysam66

meysam66

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I’m totally disagree!


So, how could you live with someone, who dose not anything in commen with you.It’s a disaster!!!


Unfortunetly, a few peopole who are poor, force theire daughter to get mary with an aged and rich people.

09:40 AM Oct 29 2014 |

liuhh_gwdc

China

its common longtime before in china, but not now. guys coming of age have too much more free to make the selection by themselves.

08:31 AM Oct 29 2014 |

liuhh_gwdc

China

its common longtime before in china, but not now. guys coming of age have too much more free to make the selection by themselves.

08:31 AM Oct 29 2014 |

liuhh_gwdc

China

its common longtime before in china, but not now. guys coming of age have too much more free to make the selection by themselves.

08:31 AM Oct 29 2014 |

AryelLanes

AryelLanes

Brazil

This sort of thing is a taboo over here… Generally speaking, people think exactly like Marni – they find it REALLY archaic!

07:48 AM Oct 29 2014 |

wanda wanda

Russian Federation

My Indian friend has been involved in an arranged marriage three  times already.His parents were mistaken two times hope  they have made the right choice now.


Though,don’t think  it is the best way to bring happiness to the family .I firmly believe that happiness in marriage is a matter of luck.


06:47 AM Oct 29 2014 |

seungmanlee68

South Korea

It was norm for people to marry when they come of age until 1800s in Korea. In view of parents side, arranged marriages are quite reasonable because they are able to select well qulified candidates for children’s partner than children do. Before marriage, I have met lots of ladies who were working in various fields. At that time, I didn’t have any knowledges about “who is the best candidate as a life long partner?”.  My mother emphasized that you have to choose a lady who owned sound relious belief. If not, you will not overcome various hardships properly. As a result, I met current wife who owned sound relious belief since childhood under her parents care.  I believe that there is no coincidence in the world. Even though my parents guided to select the best lady, I cannot help but recommend arranged marriages if you have no ideas about your marriage. 

04:16 AM Oct 29 2014 |

kristina87

Indonesia

i am not in an arranged marriage at all and its not common in our cultural. I think we must marriage someone we love. Same with Marni, i think its bizarre to live together with someone who had arranged to married with me from birth.

03:01 AM Oct 29 2014 |

gomezjo

gomezjo

Colombia

I don’t want to criticize but I consider that it’s indispensable, for two people who suppose will  share the rest of their lives, to kow each other, to understand them and to fall in love.


I’m married and I remember how shocking it was to me seeing my loved girl for the very first time… so I had to work for her love and to demonstrate to her that I’d be her man.


Greetigs pen pals


02:53 AM Oct 29 2014 |

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