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Ending a Friendship
简体
Ending a Friendship
结束一段友谊

Learn the Past Perfect Progressive Tense.

Date: Apr 13 2012

Themes: Friend

Grammar: Past Perfect Progressive

Intro

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Friendships don’t all last forever. Sometimes friends simply drift apart. When one friend moves away or starts a family, that can put a strain on the friendship, too. But none of that stings as much as getting friend dumped.

Getting friend dumped is when one of your friends decides to stop hanging out with you. It’s like in a relationship, when one person breaks up with the other. Friendships don’t usually end as dramatically as romantic relationships. But sometimes, a big falling out can lead to one friend saying “goodbye” forever to the other. Hear Devan talk to Marni about getting friend dumped.

并非所有友谊都会长久。有时,朋友很容易疏远。一位朋友搬家或成家也会让友谊经受考验。但是那些都不如被朋友抛弃受到的伤害更大。
被朋友抛弃是指你的一位朋友决定不再和你逛街。这就像在爱情中,一个人与另一半分手。通常,友谊并不像爱情那样结束的那么富有戏剧性。但有时,一次激烈的争吵可能会导致一位朋友向另一位永远说“再见”。听德凡向玛尼谈论被朋友抛弃。

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Devan

Devan

Marni

Marni

Devan:  I just got friend dumped.

Marni:  Really?

Devan:  Yeah.

Marni:  Wow. I guess I didn’t even know that was a thing. How did that happen?

Devan:  Well, we had this big falling out. It was really unexpected. I guess for a while we’d been drifting apart, and she’d been pulling away. But I thought I was making an effort to try to make things better with her, and I asked her out for a drink, and everything was fine. And a couple days later, I invited her out again, and she just told me that she was tired of being my friend and doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore.

Marni:  Wow. Do you think on that first initial meeting you hurt her feelings somehow, and you didn’t realize it?

Devan:  I think that when we had our falling out a while ago, I really hurt her feelings. And I think that she was giving me another chance to make things better, but then I guess there’s still too much residual pain, and she’s just over it, which is really too bad, because I really valued her as a friend.

Marni:  If she doesn’t want to be your friend, then she’s the one who’s missing out.

Devan:  Thanks.

 

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Discussion

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Devan’s friend recently told her that she didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. Devan got friend dumped.

Devan explains to Marni what happened. She and her friend had a falling out and began to drift apart. Devan tried to make things better, but her friend’s feelings were hurt, and she couldn’t get over the fight. Finally, she ended the friendship.

Marni tries to comfort Devan. She says that Devan’s former friend is the one who is missing out by not having a friendship with Devan anymore.

Have you ever ended a friendship or been friend dumped? Do you think it’s hard to maintain friendships and not drift apart over time?

 

Comments

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khaethe

khaethe

Philippines

why end friendship..when you have lot more :))

09:34 AM Apr 13 2012 |

PhilologistAUL

Azerbaijan

Dear Heather, I had a friend for a season, and I really learned a lot during that period, I observed how money can change some people and how they change their preferences. I’m more careful towards people now. Anyway, I have friends for lifetime now, they’re few in number, but I’m happy with them and I do believe our friendship will last forever.


There’s such a saying:Some friends are like bread, you cannot live without them and want them always to be in your life. Some friends are like medicine, you look for them whenever you need them. And some friends are like a virus, you want to get rid of them, but they won’t go away. 



07:44 AM Apr 13 2012 |

Mahtab.bp

Mahtab.bp

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Friends are very important to me ,because I am connected with them more than anyone in my life.More than relatives and family!;)


I cant remember any friend that I had seriously falling out with her or him!Thank God!:)


If I choose someone as my friend I will never break up with her or him and our friendship will last forever!believe me!:) I had never a falling apart so far!


I have many various friends from my school, university ,work places ,internet ….. and I am friend with all of them.But disagreements or misunderstandings happen and we cant say we are compeletely match with someone!


also I had many friends who are not connected after their marriage or their moving to other places and we cant communicate like before,but it dosent mean we are drifting apart. If I will meet  them somewhere we will be still friends and we will be happy to meet eachother again.:)


I’m sincere in friendship and I try to dont hurt their feelings ,but if I did I try to apologize and we could over it!Untill now I was succeed to keeping my friendships. :)

mandy-sz

China

I have one good friend who is also my classmate in college. I think she is my best friend in my heart. But one thing happened, and she hurt my feeling in my heart. I did not contact her for a long time. I thougt she also felt about this and tried to contact me many times. The thing hurt me deeply once i review it. After a long time, i called her eventurely. I think i forgive her in heart.


We are still good friends in my heart!

07:08 AM Apr 13 2012 |

2 people like this

FUN777

FUN777

Egypt

It’s an important thing to have friends that you really appreciate and love, but over time you will find out there are some friends you don’t agree with them. For me if that happen to me i prefer to end the friendship, but not directly like what happen to Devan i think it is gonna hurt the other person because i think if we have to drift apart it doesn’t mean we should hurt each other.

06:52 AM Apr 13 2012 |

Irene Forever

Ukraine

I appreciate friendship in fact but not in words. Some people say beautiful words, but it appears to be lies. How painful it’s to know that you believed and loved a person who just used you for his own purpose. I can never forgive it. I also hate cowardice, when a “friend” tell you beautiful words and feel apprehension somebody else could know about it.


I am very sincere with my friends, I always show my real feelings, and I’m never afraid to say what I wish.


To end a friendship is not easy for me, but it’s still possible if I don’t feel comfortable with a person. I’m a very sensitive and patient  woman, and I’ll never allow  any friend to humiliate me ecpesially if that friend says I have done so much for him.


So, I can say, “Good- bye, baby!”

06:52 AM Apr 13 2012 |

CatcheR

CatcheR

Iceland

It’s sad if friendship should drift a part, but everything happens for reason. A real friend tries to maintain the friendship though sometimes there’s a big different argument. But that’s the way we feel how much we need each other, really funny though if there’s anyone called a former friend, so sad!

wangjinxiu

China

i think it is hard to maintain friendships,i ended a  friendship before and found that after some friends start a new family ,they will have no time and strain on the friendship.Frown

06:03 AM Apr 13 2012 |

tutorheatherSuper Member!

United States

It is often said that people come into our lives for “a reason, a season or a lifetime.”



For those who come into our lives for a reason:



Perhaps you need to learn a piece of information or need some immediate help or support. These friends seem to appear suddenly, or by chance. After serving their particular purpose in our lives they fade away without any wrongdoing, drama or intense emotion. But the friendship served an important, specific purpose. I can recall many of these friendships. I didn’t know at the time that the friend would be a “reason” friend, but each one certainly helped me in his or her own way.


People who come into our lives for a “season” serve a larger purpose. You learn a major lesson from these friendships. There is a strong attachment  to one another and you share joy or pain, or both.  They help us truly grow as a person and they energize and inspire us. We are definitely better for having known them, even if the friendship ends in a painful way. You carry love for these friends forever, but for whatever reason the friendship is not a forever one. But in some way, they influenced you.


And those lifetime friends, well, they help us become who we truly are. They are a rock-solid part of our foundation as a person. We carry them in our hearts and minds for a lifetime, even if death, physical distance, or other circumstances have split the physical friendship apart. There is joy and pain in these friendships and they may feel dramatic and difficult; this is because there is a  deep, heartfelt (sincere) connection. People often say they feel connected to one another’s soul - like soulmates.  Lifetime friendships are instructive; people instruct one another in irreplaceable ways. These friends may have changed us, and no matter what, they are indelible (unable to be removed - like ink), and will never leave our hearts.


I have always loved this expression, and it has helped me to have perspective (a view; wisdom) on my friendships. It’s natural for some friendships to end. We may deeply treasure  a person even though we haven’t seen or spoken to him or her for years. I certainly have experienced that, and it may feel unresolved (unsettled; without end) and complicated.


But, we should avoid grieving a lost relationship for an overly long, mentally unhealthy time.


The days, months, and years ahead wll bring us new people and new friendships.


As long as we remain respectful and kind to one another, we will always be remembered as a good friend—whether it’s for a reason, a season, or a lifetime!


cherryelva

cherryelva

China

nothing is forever

The Last Joke

Yemen

It’s true : It’s important i surround myself with people who make me happy but friendships have their downs and ups , most of them don’t last forever .when i’m ending my friendship with someone , whatever the reason :  an extended conversation about why things are over isn’t necessary . because words cannot heal as effectively as they did, All i have to do is point out what he/ she did wrong and  “friendship over!” .


 


Infact ,people enter and exit my lives ( life ), and sometimes exits are for the best. i have no to think of ending friendship as a failure, because some people come into my lives(life) and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on my hearts, and i’m never, ever the same.

ola33

ola33

Japan

I saw you deleted, Ryo. I just wrote half a page on this topic and it was all gone to nowhere. All of a sudden – click and I’m on a new page. Anyway, this topic speaks to me, I want to tell more and it will be tomorrow. It’s late in here. Good night! Smile

02:14 AM Apr 13 2012 |

whathell

whathell

China

Haha,Ryo. But why?

02:13 AM Apr 13 2012 |

1 person likes this

whathell

whathell

China

Guess i am the first guy to comment on this lesson? A friend in need is a friend indeed, look around you and think about it! hanging-out “friends”? No, they are not your friends! Absolutely not! Sometimes getting so-called “friends” dumped is good, it’s no big deal.

02:08 AM Apr 13 2012 |

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