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Boundaries
Boundaries

Learn English with this boundaries English lesson

Date: Aug 15 2018

Themes: Romance

Grammar: To, Too & Two

Intro

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We’ve all seen the awkward couple on a first date. They sit and ask each other questions during dinner, and then? Will she hold his hand? Will he give her a kiss? It’s hard to know what’s right at the beginning of a relationship.

People who are interested in each other romantically are also attracted to each other physically. But it’s not always OK to touch another person. People have individual boundaries, and it’s important to respect those guidelines. When a relationship first starts, it’s almost always good to take things slowly. Even if the feeling’s mutual, you will probably scare a lot of people off if you try to go too far on the first date.

How do Marni and Jeff approach relationships? Find out what kind of advice Jeff has in this English lesson about dating.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Marni

Marni

Jeff

Jeff

Marni:  Jeff, I need some advice.

Jeff:  Yeah?

Marni:  I started seeing someone, and he’s great, but he just doesn’t respect my boundaries.

Jeff:  Boundaries. What are you talking about?

Marni:  I just want to feel comfortable and safe with him. I want to take things slowly, and so I think we need to set some boundaries. Set some guidelines for how we’re going to approach things, so we’re all on the same page.

Jeff:  Man, you have to be careful with that. That will scare a lot of people off. Me, I just take it as it comes.

Marni:  Really? Because I want to take things slowly. I really like this guy, and I want him to respect me. I don’t want him to go too far, or for me to go too far, too soon. So I think we just really need some boundaries.

Jeff:  If the feeling’s mutual and everything’s consensual, then I say just act naturally.

 

Grammar Point

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Lesson MP3

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Discussion

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Marni asks Jeff for dating advice. She has a new boyfriend, but she doesn’t want to become too physically involved with him too early in the relationship. She believes that it’s important to take things slowly and get to know the other person well first.

Jeff thinks that it’s awkward to set boundaries. He likes to follow his feelings and let things happen naturally. He tells Marni that she will scare a lot of people off if she talks too much about boundaries. Although Jeff and Marni are friends, they’re definitely not on the same page when it comes to dating.

What are your rules for dating? Do you set boundaries?

 

Comments

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Shokouh

Shokouh

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I’m agree with Marni..boundaries are good factors in lots of cases especially in relationships.

03:42 PM Aug 15 2018 |

hermitlady

China

i like the word “boundaries”.



it is important that both parties are feeling comfortable in a perfect relationship. in other words, if either of the parties is uncomfortable, the relationship is likely to be inappropriate even if the may like each other.



     so i like boundaries unless someone makes me give up it.  Mutual respect is basic for a healthy relationhsip.  i believe my intuition.  the right person is who makes me feel safe and willing, but not uncomfortable, no matter how he is handsome, and how i like him.



    the boundaries are so important for any relationship , between lovers, children and parents, friends and so on….

04:13 AM Aug 15 2018 |

sunny_ling88

China

I think it is improtant to set bounfaries on first date, someone need to respect each other in the relationship, I don’t want to go too far, it will be better take things alowly for relationship.

06:42 AM Jun 20 2014 |

dreadslayer

Turkey

I think boys dont like to get into some boundaries which are set by girls.Actually we want to get what we want fast.However generally speaking ,girls have some taboos and intend to set some boundaries between the guy whom she’s dating with.I dunno why do girls act so get to hard people i think they are concerning that if the guy reaches everything he wants then he get bored easily and leave her when he get attention by any girls.Actually we guys like to chase things that hard to get.If we get something after loong strives then it makes itself more valuable :)

01:26 PM Jun 09 2014 |

DiamonD

DiamonD

Canada

For me, respect and morals are more important factors to establish a relastion. 


Yes, its obviouse that everyone has his own way to socialize, as we all should respect to all public laws and rules for having a better life, it seems important to set bounderies to make people feel free and comfortable while communicating, bounderies are supposed to be invisible distances which should be kept carefully in a friendly relationship.

09:44 AM Jun 07 2014 |

S&W

S&W

China

Honestly ,I set boundaries.And Most of my boundaries comes from moral and religious belief,It’s better to let it be.

11:49 AM Jun 05 2014 |

veronica_mourad

Egypt

Yes I set some boundaries specially on first date and take things slowly I dont think it’ll scare a lot of peoole off 

11:06 PM Jun 04 2014 |

aLShaima

aLShaima

Oman

personally and as a girl , i ‘d like from the man to show that he is not caring much to touch my body , giving me hugs or even kisses when am not ready or convinced to accept that by him yet . why not to pretend like its ok with you to stand boundries when your body is forcing you to go through stuff like such and hustle such romantic moments from girls , just wait tell she comes to you by her own , everything needs time to cope with anything .. no boundries = no privacy = no respect !

09:13 PM Jun 04 2014 |

Ngubo Sixtus

South Africa

I do like to slow things down when it comes to have a new relationship with someone. 

05:29 PM Jun 04 2014 |

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

RYo, dont get mad, she was only kidding with you, like me, when i was child i had lots of boys in love with me, for sure most of them were my cousins and relatives but that was really pleasant for me to hear from their mothers, and they used to kid with me and put me on bcz when they gave me some compliments i would become proud of myself and they laughed at it loud…it is nothing to worry you by remembering now…just a pleasure of being child and carefree at that time..hahaha :))  

04:17 PM Jun 04 2014 |

3 people like this

halisvetik1967

Ukraine

Dating can be rather adventurous, funny and easy if two people are interesting to each other.It is not always related to similar interests,opinions but to different ones too. Two people are gradually discovering each other like tasting a good wine. But if they like each other  too much, they feel thirsty for the next meeting. But if they drink a wine too fast they do not feel it taste) Such contradiction adds a certain temptation to dating.


03:34 PM Jun 04 2014 |

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Culture, religion, policy and responsibility can make boundaries for a person, so setting boundaries on such true and definite basic rules is all a question of “ethics” and actually it is not what scares a lot of people off (!)


For certain, choosing the best way of living as well as the significant boundary help someone make his life more efficient to the highest level of moral standards. All that stuff is OK, right, but now a question comes to our mind, what does “the boundary” really mean? According to Longman Dic: “the limit of what is acceptable or thought to be possible”, as we saw earlier, it can be considered as a matter of principle in fact. But Im still thinking of Marni and what she did!! Our moral rules never let us put our kid to day-care center to have pleasant time with a boyfriend (!) This behavior is kinda strange really, I don’t know…maybe it’s a modern trend that has emerged recently or a way of feeling freedom in this way…I don’t know.


Anyway this lesson spoils ethics in a relationship from my point of view, what I could get straight is a healthy relationship between married couples is not as serious as having one with your other friends!! Sorry really for such ideas…


Ahmet55, thanks for your support, i really appreciate it.

03:07 PM Jun 04 2014 |

phn_uk

phn_uk

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Relationships are always very delicate. The first impression is very important. You have to try to know the other one better. Asking some questions and the way he/she answers really helps to approach them. But actually I agree with Jeff. Just let things happen naturally. There is no specific rule. It really depends on the personalities. Sometimes you see relationshiops hits off really soon that makes you wonder if they know each other for a long time, but in other cases two sides try to find some common things but the more they progress, the less they achieve. However, goign too far is not good at all as it may ruin everything. So just see how it goes and take things as they happen.

02:25 PM Jun 04 2014 |

Seiyf_khawas

Turkey

and there is a rule in relations, 


some relations look like turtle walking, some look like rabbit walking..


dont wait from it a lion walking :)))

12:29 PM Jun 04 2014 |

Seiyf_khawas

Turkey

I think, Everyone has their own boundaries and limits,in relations.


like climbing a stair..some likes one by one,with small steps..some likes climbing it double and double..if they dont use elevator :)))))))


12:07 PM Jun 04 2014 |

ahmet55

ahmet55

Austria

I approve Hazelgirl’s idea in this case and I think we are on the same page. 


Anyway, in several items of my dating I only proposed friendly relationship to a few girls but unfortunately they refused me. I never understood why and since then I took this subject away until getting out of my country. BCZ of this with no doubt I make a decision with myself to get married from a foreign girl. I have to confess I’m profoundly unsuccessful on emotional relationships. Maybe bcz I took some guidelines and others don’t. I’m so serious in my life and maybe girls consider big red boundaries around me which push them away to approach to me. This is a really annoying thing in my life. Someday in the soon future I have to figure it out, completely.

11:42 AM Jun 04 2014 |

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

OH my god!! after quite a long time, how “good” news can be today on EBABY!! it made everyone get a shock i think… all the people here have been keeping silent…Marni??? “new” boyfreind?!!! i supposed she had been married!!  who arranged this scenario, may i ask??!! i just wonder why she didnt ask her husband for practical advice, he knows her wife better than Jeff – i suppose of course im not sure in this case – and he may also have a better idea for both emotional & physical needs of his beloved Marni… lol 

08:23 AM Jun 04 2014 |

leeagent12

United Kingdom

hi

04:01 AM Jun 04 2014 |

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